


On The Run

by emma_and_orlando



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Michael (Supernatural), Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Destiel - Freeform, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Omega Dean, Pregnant Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-07-17 15:43:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16098728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma_and_orlando/pseuds/emma_and_orlando
Summary: “Please.” The Omega is shaking. “He’s going to kill me. Help me-”Castiel doesn’t think twice.What was supposed to be his relaxing time off work, turns out yet to be the most stressful time of his life. On the run with someone elses pregnant omega.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. Thank you for reading my story. I will put specific trigger warnings here in the notes for every individual chapter, which might spoil a bit of the story:  
> \- Past underage (only mentioned)  
> \- Abuse  
> \- Non-consensual drug use  
> \- discrimination  
> \- Mpreg (male pregnancy)
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

Castiel decides to stop by the Bill Waters tank station early in the afternoon, so he could hit the road without breaks for the rest of the day. 

He refills the engine completely. Goes to the front desk to pay and asks where he can find the toilets. 

He has a bottle in his car to pee in if he becomes really desperate, but he’d rather not. 

“That’ll be a dollar, Sir.” The older woman grumbles after she points towards the back of the little shop. 

“Of course” He hand the cash quickly. He feels like he’s holding up the people behind him in line.

In a few strides he’d made his way into the back. There were usual separated Beta, Alpha, Omega stalls. 

His father had taught him that the omega stalls were much cleaner than the Alpha ones. So Castiel follows his advice and enters the omega washroom. 

By the time he is done and drying his hands, a panicked disoriented omega comes stumbling inside the toilet. 

Their eyes meet. Something clicks. 

“Please.” The omega is shaking, cautiously reaching out for Castiels protection. “He’s going to kill me. Help me-“ 

Castiel doesn’t think twice. He grabs the mans hand and drags him into a stall. 

“Your Alpha?” He keeps his voice low. Watching the omega compose himself from the panic enough to nod in confirmation. 

Castiel climbs on top of the toilet seat and opens the small window above it. 

He could barely fit through it, but he managed. He turns back to the omega, who’s quietly repressing a heart attack. 

“We climb through the window, I drive the car back here and we go. Got it?” 

The omega sniffs, face white as a sheet. Castiel doesn’t wait any longer. He hauls himself out uncomfortably and tries to quickly but unsuspiciously drive his car around the back of the tank station.

The car barely comes to a halt by the window, before the omega lowers himself down the wall. 

He jogs over to Castiels car and gets in swiftly. “Go.” He grunts out before he even slams the door closed. 

Castiel hits the gas pedal and drives far over the speed limit in order to get away fast. 

 

\- Monday evening. Preston-fall City Road, Washington. 07:21 PM.

 

The first to speak is Castiel. He slows down to the speed limit and turns to acknowledge the omega.

Silent tears are running down his face, but neither of them comments on this. 

Castiel suspects it is relief combined with adrenaline. 

“My name is Castiel Novak. I’m not a kidnapper. You can leave at any time.” 

The omega frowns before letting go of the lip he was biting on. 

“I’m Dean Sm- Winchester.” He corrects himself quickly. “And, that’s good to know.” He wipes away the last tear. He’s calmed down slightly. “Castiel is a weird name.” 

Castiel ignores the comment and points at the tissues on his dashboard. “This must have been an overwhelming day.” 

Dean snorts, blowing his nose in the offered tissue. “Yeah well, same for you.” 

They’re both quiet for a moment. Castiel isn’t much of a talker himself, but Dean seems to have gained some courage and energy. 

“You must be something else if you drive into the sunset with any omega who asks you to.” He looks at Castiel. Studying him cautiously.

“Are you wondering about my intentions?” He asks softly. Eyes back on the road after holding Deans gaze.

“Yeah, I’m forever grateful dude, really. But I don’t feel like giving a blow job or anything right now. Kinda nauseous, so. If I can express my gratitude later-“ Dean rambles eyes down and focused on the dashboard. 

“Dean stop,” Cas interrupts him. “I don’t want anything in return. It is my duty as a fellow human being to help you.” He promises solemnly. 

Dean takes the statement in, but doesn’t seem sold yet.

“My father used to say,” Castiel takes a deep breath to make Dean understand. “That there is a special place in hell for Alphas who turn down helpless Omegas.” 

“I’m not helpless.” Dean frowns. “I just needed help.” He plays with the hem of his thick hoodie. “But, eh, thanks. I get what you’re saying.” 

Castiel nods. Before handing Dean a thick bundle of papers. 

“Do us a favor, find the nearest motel so we can rest for tonight.” He printed it all out before he’d hit the road. Decent motels, abandoned roads, diners, tank stations and supermarkets.

Dean lays a hand on his stomach. Castiel assumes he must be hungry as well. Despite that Dean asks, “Can we put a little more distance between Michael and us?” 

Michael is his Alpha, Castiel assumes. The omega doesn’t smell of anything because of the obvious scent blockers, but Castiel didn’t need to smell that he’d looked terrified and exhausted by the thought of his mate finding him. 

“Of course, Dean. Find something further down the road than. I have some snacks under the backseat if you are hungry.” 

Honestly he was tired of driving, but Dean seemed so relieved by the extra miles between him and his mate, Castiel can bear through it. 

 

\- Monday evening. North Bend Motel, Washington. 10:19 PM. 

 

They checked in late at the hotel. They fist stopped at the QFC supermarket 1 mile away. 

Castiel paid for everything. Dean had felt slightly embarrassed, but he hadn’t brought anything with him when he escaped Michael. Not his wallet, clothes or phone. 

He hadn’t really prepared to run away. He’d simply taken advantage of the moment Michael had allowed him to use the restroom by himself. 

Castiel promised him he could pick whatever he wanted. Castiel was very comfortable when it came to money. 

They came back with mostly orange juice, pie, yogurt and fruit. Only a couple of plastic bags. 

The man at the front desk of the motel didn’t ask whether they would share a bed or not, so Castiel lets him know they want a double room. Two beds. 

Dean stands as far as possible from the man. The smell of a strange Alpha set him on edge. But he smiles at Castiel in relief and gratitude. 

They get the keys and quickly gotten settled. 

They put the food and drinks in the fridge. Castiel immediately flops down exhausted on his bed, after handing Dean a bundle of clothes that would probably be too short and small. 

Dean thanked him anyway. “I’m glad you’re the Alpha I decided the run away with. You’re- different.” He leans against the bathrooms doorframe. Watching Castiel lay limp on his bed. 

He was an odd man. Quiet, small for an Alpha. Polite, and yet a voice deep and manly. His face was unreadable, but his body language like an open book.

Castiel looks away from the intense green eyes. He ignores the praise. “We will get you some clothes and utilities soon. I’m sorry for the unease.” 

Dean waves him off and announces that he will shower the cold sweat from his body. 

Castiel is lazily zapping through the channels. His mind wondering where he will drop Dean off and how long it will take for Castiel to return towards his own destination. 

He is distracted in his own mind. Until, Dean steps out of the steamy bathroom. In Castiels pajama pants and a tight white t-shirt. 

His smell blocker has faded with the shower. The thin white shirt leaves nothing for the imagination. 

Realization hits Castiel when he stares at Deans partly exposed belly.

This completely changes the game. 

“You are pregnant.” Castiel states dumbly. Watching Deans relaxed shoulders tense and eyes harden. He keeps tugging on the shirt that simply wasn’t big enough to cover his belly. 

“Is that a problem?” Through gritted teeth Dean wonders. Eyes glancing towards the exit immediately. 

Castiel gets up hurriedly from the bed, Dean backs down against the wall. An arm curls around his bump.

Castiel puts his hands up in surrender and choses his words more carefully than before. “I would have taken better care of you. If I had known Dean... My sincere apology.” He should know better than to approach a pregnant omega like that. 

Dean lets out a shaky breath. “Dude, you saved our lives. I’ve been trying to find the energy to leave Michael for a while now. With my pregnancy, I believe he’d never let me go. I needed out.”

He takes a step towards Castiel, showing he accepts the Alphas peaceful approach and cautiously puts a hand on his shoulder. “So, no more apologies. I thank you for helping me when I desperately needed it.” 

Cas relaxes and puts a hand on Deans shoulder as well. Accepting him as an equal. Dean is taller, but it isn’t awkward anyway. 

“You’re welcome, Dean. And uh, little one.” He looks down at the bump. “How far along are you?”

“Four months. Michael doesn’t know. He is away often and made me wear scent blockers.” He inhales deeply. Relieved to smell himself for the first time in years. 

Castiel can’t help but do the same. Pregnant Omega was naturally on top of the list of favorite Alpha smells. Aroma sweet, tender and promising.

He lets go of Dean, before he starts scenting him without permission. 

“Let’s get some sleep. Put more miles between you and Michael tomorrow morning.” 

Dean lowers down onto his bed. After he gets comfortable he gives Castiel a thumbs up. “Sounds like a plan, Cas.”

 

\- Tuesday morning. SE North Bend Way, Washington. 7:36 AM. 

Dean doesn’t outwardly complain about having to get out of bed by 7 in the morning. But Castiel is already showered and had his breakfast by the time he actually manages to wake Dean up enough to get him dressed up. 

He seems more on edge and nervous without the adrenaline he had yesterday. 

When they get into Castiels car, he immediately falls back to sleep. His neck in an awkward angle. And his hands rest on his belly, covered with yesterday’s hoodie. 

Castiels Alpha instincts were already on edge because of a frightened omega in danger. 

But knowing Dean is in fear, but also pregnant makes him want to growl and release his pheromones to mark the territory he was protecting.

He also knows that none of that will help Deans obvious mistrust in other people. Castiel has to collect himself, before Dean would run from him too. 

He couldn’t bare the thought of Dean somewhere trying to outrun his Alpha on his own. No car to flee. No money for a decent motel. Not knowing where the next meal will come from for the baby.

They needed to make a plan. Get their shit together before one of them will do something they’ll regret.

Eyes still on the road, Castiel tenderly rubs Deans shoulder. Trying to wake him without startling him.

The first response is a grumble, but after another few moments Deans eyes blink open rapidly and he yawns. 

They aren’t driving very fast and the road is clear. Dean senses no immediate danged, so he relaxed slightly.

“What is it Cas?” He stretches his arms out as far as he could in the small car. 

“Well, you haven’t had breakfast.” He reaches over and hands Dean the plastic bag with food. “And we need to talk.”

“Jeez, that doesn’t sound good.” Dean finds one of the apples they bought and bites down. Juice running down his chin onto his shirt. 

“Look man,” He starts with a painfully apologetic expression when he twists to face Castiel. “You’ve done more than anyone has ever done for me in my life. So I know I have no right fo ask you for anything else,” 

It takes a lot out of him to be so open and forthcoming with what he needs, but he has priorities above his pride these days. 

“But I really need a solid plan to get to my brother. Last time I heard he’s in California. He might take me in.” Dean looks for Castiels reaction. But his face stays robotically neutral. 

“Dean, why did you say Michael was going to kill you?” The question had been itching for the last 20 hours. He suspects that Michael has been abusive, of course, but the accusations of immediate danger of getting murdered was something else.

Dean sits back and sighs. His gaze drops and shifts to the landscape outside the window. 

The mountains were beautiful and stood tall amongst the trees. He hadn’t been outside much in the past few years. 

He rolls down the glass barrier, even though there are flies and the breeze is a bit too cold for comfort. The fresh air is more soothing than anything else. 

“Michael is a control freak. When things, or, in my case, people get out of his grip he snaps,” 

Castiel waits patiently as Dean finishes his apple. Tossing the remains out of the window. 

“So,” He continues. “I have been dating him for over 9 years now. I occasionally see things, hear things. And I found out his previous omega had pressed charges because of abuse.”

He finally looks at Castiel now. His eyes as hard as Castiels facial expression. “Then she disappeared off the face of the earth.” 

“Now look,” Dean lets out a huff and rubs his belly to reduce his stress. “If it was just me, I could risk living a horrible life with Michael, or dying because I wouldn’t let him get his way. But I will not let the same happen to my kid.” 

Castiel takes a moment to process everything Dean said.

He clears his throat. “I take that Michael is a wealthy man?” 

“He is very powerful.” Dean confirms. “Legally he is untouchable. That’s why I-“ 

“You ran. I’m starting to get the picture.” Castiel grumbles in a low voice. 

“First I wanted to go alone, but instead I saw you. Something just clicked. You felt that to?” Dean looks at him searching for confirmation.

“Yes.” He says and notices he is gripping the steering wheel hard enough for his knuckles go white. “Something felt- right.” 

Alphas such as Michael ruled the business world, courtrooms and politics. There’s no legal way out that would harm Michael if there was no evidence of abuse. 

And that is if there is a neutral lawyer in the first place. 

“Anyway. Because Michael is so powerful, I need to start a new life. My brother can help with that. We lost contact over the years, but I think it’ll be okay.” Dean finishes while curiously trying to detect emotions on Castiels face. 

His body language is tense and angry. But his face falsely calm. 

“Dean. If you and Michael are successfully mated, he has a legal claim over you. If you can find your brother, so can he.” 

Deans foggy brain hadn’t thought of that. “Fuck. That would be the first place he’d search for me. And if he finds me I cannot deny him if he decides to reclaim me.” 

Reclaiming, Castiels father would explain him when he was growing up, is when an Alpha is legally responsible for the omega. Meaning that if the Omega disobeys them in any unwanted way, the Alpha can take away all privileges from the Omega. Drivers license, money or credit cards and privileges to leave the house. 

“Michael basically owns me.” 

He really does, Castiel thinks bitterly. Alphas can only lose this claim on their omegas if a judge rules that the Alpha has neglected or abused their omega. 

Or, when the mating comes undone. And the mating mark disappears from the body. 

Then, a light bulb turns on in Castiels head. 

It’s a dangerous plan, but if it works, Dean will never be bothered by Michael again. 

“I might have an idea.”


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean are on the road. Worrying how quickly the news about Deans disappearance is spreading. And they discuss Castiels master plan.

\- Tuesday morning. Richland, Washington. 10:12 AM

Castiels car is by far the most uncomfortable one Dean has ever slept in.

His seat is pulled all the way back. His swollen feet are propped up on the dashboard, but there is too little space for him to shift and get comfortable. 

The seat is made of tight hard leather. Nothing to cushion his aching body. 

Castiel had tried to help the situation by handing a ratty thin blanket, but it didn’t do its job to keep Dean warm or comfort. 

“Normally, people like my Jaguar.” Castiel muses when Dean grumbles in frustration for the fifth time that minute. 

Dean sits up to glare at him. “A fast car doesn’t make a comfortable car.” 

He groans at the twinge in his lower back. Pregnancy is a bitch.

“Fucking car. Everything aches.” He adds while rubbing as far down his back as he can reach, which isn’t far. 

Castiel shrugs, only slightly apologetic. “I don’t have any complains myself. Could it be because of your condition?” 

“My what?” Dean gives up on getting any more sleep and puts his seat back into an upright position. 

Castiels eyes shift towards his belly. “Your pregnancy. Your body is adjusting to the fetus. I’ve heard that can become rather uncomfortable.” 

“It is.” Dean confirms, then he raises an eyebrow when Castiel makes a turn to get into a town. They immediately face a bit of traffic and children playing on the pavement. 

“Where are we going?”

“I should have informed you. My apologies. There is a spacious mall here, where we can buy some clothes for you, utilities and perhaps a few pillows for your back.” Castiel smoothly drives through the town towards the buzzing center, without looking at a map or road signs.

“You’ve been here before.” Dean comments thoughtfully. 

Castiel nods curtly. “Yes.”

Dean waits for him to elaborate, but it doesn’t come. 

He huffs in faux frustration, folding his arms over his chest. “Fine, don’t answer than.” 

“I’m not the most forthcoming person, Dean.” Is his explanation. 

Dean purses his lips. “Okay. At least tell me, why are you running?”

“Why do you assume I’m running?” Castiel asks teasingly, but his eyes are strictly on the road.

Deans face morphs into a grin. “Well, you are packed lightly, only the necessities, but a lot of them. Your car is loaded with food. There are too many miles on your new Jaguar. Your phone is shut off, not ringing or picked up for days.” 

Castiel has come to realize that Dean isn’t quiet. He’s an observer. He huffs, but he caves in. “Fine, Sherlock. You could say that in a sense I am ‘running’.” 

“Though the real question is, why?” Dean wonders. Half expecting Castiel not to answer him. 

“It’s rather silly compared to your reason.” Castiel confesses. His voice laced with embarrassment. “Let’s leave this conversation for another time. Maybe after a drink or two.” 

“I won’t be having any drink for the next few months.” Dean complains lightly, hands rubbing down his belly. 

It’s Castiels turn to grin. “I know.” 

 

\- Tuesday Afternoon. Vintner Square mall, Washington. 01:30 PM. 

 

“Dean,” Castiel tugs at Deans hoodie encouragingly and pulls him into the store. “You can choose whatever you want. I have money.” 

He pulls out his platinum American express credit card and hands it to Dean without hesitation. “Please refrain from holding back.” 

“Dude, you can’t say that to a guy inside a Target.” His voice is giddy with excitement though. Castiel notices his eyes lighting up in childish delight. 

He gives Dean a nudge with his shoulder. “Come on, I’ll follow. You lead.” 

“Hell yeah!” Dean rushes past the gates into the enormous Target store. Castiel grabs a card, suspecting they might need one. And rushes to catch up with Dean, who’s already carrying has three different pies and the largest Nutella pot Castiel has ever laid eyes on. 

“Please Dean, don’t lift anything heavy. I have a card!” He yells after the omega who takes a sharp turn around the corner and disappears out of Castiels sight. 

Castiel pretends that it doesn’t make his heart race. 

 

\- Tuesday Afternoon. Vintner Square mall, Washington. 02:34 PM. 

 

Dean stands on his tip toes to grab the Led Zeppelin IV CD on the top shelf of the aisle. Castiel clears his throat and glances at his watch. 

“Dean, I don’t mean to rush you,” Castiel takes the CD from him and puts it in the overflowing card. “But maybe we should get the necessities and hit the road. We have been lingering. You might get recognized.” 

“A good soundtrack on a road trip is a necessity, Cas.” Dean looks at his surroundings. The store seemed empty enough, yet he felt anxious about being in public for so long.

“You’re probably right, Michael by now has most likely reported my disappearance to the police.” His posture becomes more nervous. “Maybe it’d be the best if we leave now.” 

Castiel feels like he ruined Deans good mood. He had a tendency to do that back home, but it never ceases to make him feel guilty. 

“We leave when you have what you need.” He takes a few strides and grabs a fluffy body pillow. “Something like this, perhaps?”

He holds it up so Dean can inspect it. “Perhaps with this you can live with my uncomfortable car?” 

Dean touches it cautiously, before completing taking it from Castiel and snuggling it. 

“That’s really soft.” His face is pressed into it hard enough for Castiel to barely understand him.

“Those are specifically made for pregnant people.” A perky Target employee comments when she walks by. “They saved my life during my pregnancy. Anything I can help with gentlemen?” 

Dean glances over the beta quickly. Trying to find a quick way to avoid conversation. His voice is uneven when he speaks. “We were actually leaving, so-“ 

“Actually,” Castiel interrupts. “Do you sell Male maternity clothes?” 

The woman perks up. “Of course we do, right this way.” 

She leads them towards the clothing aisles. She explains the size chart for pregnancy and kept chattering about her own kids.

Castiel notices Dean lingering close by, but far enough for Castiel to feel on edge. He’d noticed Dean didn’t fare very well with strangers coming close by.

He decides not to force Dean to engage. He leaves Dean in charge of the card and asks for his sizes when he notices Dean didn’t take anything from the racks they pass by.

Castiel only grabs things that seem comfortable or like they could serve as both a pajama and casual clothes. 

“You’re a very tentative Alpha, my husband wouldn’t come shopping with me even when I was about to pop at eight months.” The Target employee laughs good heartedly. “Well, is there anything else I could do for you?”

She’s only looking at Castiel, but both Dean and him answer with a curt “No.” 

She bits them a good day and stalks over to another employee not far away.

Castiel turns to Dean and offers to take the card. 

“No, it’s nice to have something to lean against. And we’ll be in line for a while.” Dean grumbles a little annoyed because of the short interaction with another person.

Castiel doesn’t want to worsen his mood. He nods obediently and follows Dean towards the line for the register. The store had seemed empty enough, but the line would take at least another 10 minutes. 

They wait in a comfortable silence. Both tired and slightly irritated by Deans mood. Castiel wasn’t sure how to handle it. Back home when someone was irritated they would leave the house for a bit. 

While Dean wasn’t sure what caused his sudden mood swing or how he could lift the heavy weight of anxiety he felt on his chest.

“-The omega from the news?” Suddenly they both clearly hear the hushed, too loud whispering between the two Target employees. Both staring at Castiel and Dean.

“It certainly looks like him, but it didn’t mention him being pregnant. They would have said something about that, right?” The older woman asks, glancing over Deans pregnant body. “It’s rather obvious.” 

Castiel doesn’t know how to react. But he sees Deans cheeks turn red. 

“Fuck.” He whispers. “My mug was on the news.” 

Castiels stays collected and his expression completely neutral. They don’t want to draw any more attention. “Stay calm.” 

When it’s their turn to pay, he handles it fast and smoothly.

They rush all their items into plastic bags and try to look unsuspicious while making a quick escape.

It’s not easy to carry nine large bags while running towards the car without looking like complete criminals. 

It barely fits in Cas’ trunk. Some items are stored in the back seat or under Deans seat.

They’re both sweating and panting while packing the car. Dean a little more worn out than Castiel, but neither of them is calm enough to point that out. 

 

\- Tuesday evening. Twin Falls, Idaho. 09:16 PM.

 

After Castiel and Dean struggled to get all their items to fit in the car, they drive without a break for the longest time yet. 

They’ve been driving for over six hours. To no general destination. 

Castiel wants bring up his idea about the Michael reclaiming situation to Dean. He needs to know what way they were heading. 

But it’s Dean who brings it up first. 

“I’ve thought about what you said this morning.” 

Castiel wants to look at him, but he is driving too fast to stop looking at the road. “And?”

Dean is laying on his side, spooning his pillow and watching Castiel drive. “It’s important that I unmate Michael, but a chemical divorce is a painful option.” 

Castiel nods. “Painful and dangerous.” 

“But it is an option nonetheless.” Dean presses his lips together tightly. “Michael cannot be in my child’s life. If he can’t reclaim me I can start a new life.” 

Castiel knows that this was probably the fastest way for Dean to get rid of Michaels claim. And with his rapidly growing belly, time is going by fast. 

With a chemical divorce the body gets cleansed from the mating. Dean can file for a one-sided divorce if they aren’t mated. And he will be free from Michaels legal and biological claim over him. 

There is only one problem with this plan, normally a chemical divorce is safely done by a doctor if the Alpha files for it. Omegas cannot get a chemical divorce done without their Alphas consent. 

“I know a man who does chemical divorces illegally.” Castiel breaks the silence. “He is one of the best, we wouldn’t have to leave the country.” 

Dean can’t help it, he smiles. “We?” 

Castiel shrugs. “I suppose we are in this together now.” He glances at Dean, who’s still smiling. “What is it?”

His grin widens. “Alphas always want something from us Omegas. But I can’t seem to figure out what it is you want from me.” 

He sits up and shifts his pillow until his back is turned to Castiel. “I’ll be thinking about the chemical divorce, but if you could go ahead and ring your guy up, that’d be great.”

Even though Dean can’t see him, Castiel nods. “I’ll call him tonight when we get to the motel. Get some rest Dean.” 

Dean huffs out a laugh, his eyes long closed and body relaxed. “I’m on it.” 

 

\- Tuesday evening. Hilton Garden Inn, Utah. 11:07 PM. 

They arrive at the hotel very late at night. They’re two states away from the women in Target who saw Dean on the news. 

Castiels body is sour from the long hours driving without any breaks. 

He almost can’t get Dean to wake up. He calculates how suspicious it would look if he carried Dean inside, but luckily he stirs before Castiel could get him out of the car. 

Groggily, he sits up and rubs his eyes. “Where are we Cas?” 

Castiel sheepishly takes his hands away from Deans shoulders. “Utah. I called in advance for a place at the Hilton hotel.”

“Sweet.” Dean whistles at the nice building and the faint shape of beautiful mountains behind it. 

Castiel grabs his bag and the plastic bags with Deans utilities and some clothes. He refuses to let Dean carry anything, so Dean just holds onto his pillow.

Castiel quickly pays at the reception. Cash, so his cards can’t trace his location back. They receive their keys and the WiFi code within a couple of minutes. Castiel does all the talking. Dean hugs his pillow a few steps behind Castiel.

He’s uncomfortable around others. And there are at least 12 people in the small reception hall. 

He feels like each and every one of them is staring at him. 

They know who he is and the moment he looks away they’ll grab their phones and let Michael know where he is. 

Before it grows into a full panic attack, Castiel senses his distress. 

“Dean, our room is ready.” 

He’s carrying too many bags to grab Deans hand and lead him, instead he gives his arm a slight nudge with his shoulder.

“Let’s get settled in.”

The small push sends Dean into a walk towards the elevator far into the hallway. 

Away from prying eyes. 

 

\- Tuesday evening. Hilton Garden Inn, Utah. 11:57 PM.

 

When Castiel emerges from the shower, hair wet and breath fresh from brushing his teeth, he finds Dean sitting in his new soft pajamas on the bed that they had established Castiel was sleeping on.

He clears his throat to grab Deans attention. “Are you okay, Dean?” 

Dean looks up at him and shakes his head. “I haven’t found the courage to watch the news.” 

He’s stressed and still shaken. “Those women in Target knew who I was. I might be in some deep shit if my face is all over the place.”

Castiel calmly breathes out and sits down next to Dean. 

“We can safely assume that Michael is using all his resources to find you.” He hesitates to put a comforting arm around Dean, but the omega casually leans into him enough to encourage Castiel to wrap an arm around his waist

“It’s inconvenient to have people looking for you, but I believe we could manage if I do the errands alone from now on. Just as a precaution.” Castiel suggests while rubbing Deans side in comfort. 

It takes a few more moments of coaxing and patience, but Castiel gets Dean to hand over the remote.

“It can’t be that bad.” Castiel assures him, before he presses the power button. 

Immediately the screen flashes on to Disney Channel. Castiel zaps to another channel. A news channel.

Dean breathes out a sigh of relief when a news item about animal shelters is shown.

When he starts to relax his body, he finally notices his head is leaning against Castiels strong shoulder. 

“I told you,” Castiel starts with a small smile. “It isn’t that bad-“ 

Then the news channel switches to the female presenter in a blue blouse. “On a darker note, CEO of Wonder Corp Michael Smiths Omega Dean Smith still hasn’t been located.” 

The news woman’s face is replaced by security camera footage from the tank station. 

“The last we have seen of Dean Smith was yesterday afternoon. We see him climbing out of the Bill Waters tank station from the back. Going after a man in a beige trench coat. As you can see they leave together in a black Jaguar F-type.” The woman frowns earnestly and then she turns to speak into another camera. 

Next to her face , they show Castiels passport picture. Serious looking and not very flattering. “The man leaving with Dean Smith has been identified as Alpha Castiel Novak. Aspiring to take over his family business Angel Inc. His relatives have not heard from him days before the kidnapping occurred.” 

Then, to Deans utter terror, Michael is on the television. His eyes are bloodshot. He’s angry and he obviously hasn’t slept last night. 

“Dean is not used to being out on his own. He needs to be found and brought home. Castiel Novak needs to rot behind bars for capturing an innocent omega.” Michael rages in front of several microphones. His face turns red. 

“Dean, if you see this, try to find a cellphone and call me. I will find you and return you to our home.” 

They show the woman in her blue blouse again. “The police have not found a motive for Castiel Novak to kidnap Dean Smith.” 

In the end, Dean wasn’t completely right. It wasn’t just his face all over the news channels. 

It was Dean and his alleged kidnapper Castiel Novak. 

“Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading AGAIN! I understand if there are questions, specifically about the chemical divorce. Basically it means unmating someone. Which is unsafe if done without medical professionals. But omegas can’t do it legally without the Alphas permission.
> 
> How this works will be a part of the story. You can ask any question though! I’ll see if it’s a spoiler or not. Thank you for reading


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean learn to live with their new criminal status. And try to make plans for their unpredictable future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank yiu for reading again, I hope you like it, please leave a comment and give me life ;)

\- Wednesday morning. Hilton Garden Inn, Utah. 4:31 AM.

 

That night neither Dean or Castiel manages to fall asleep. 

They’re both in their bed. The lights are off and the television shut down. 

They listen to each others too quick uneven breathing. 

Dean keeps shifting his position on the bed and body pillow. Unable to get comfortable before the spot he’s laying on becomes too hot.The baby is restless in his rounding belly. 

Castiel on the other hand becomes mildly frustrated with all the rustling on the bed beside him. He has to cover his ears with his pillow. 

Dean looks at him and rolls his eyes. “It’s not my fault that you can’t sleep.” 

He sits up, and Castiel follows. Looking at Dean in mild irritation.

“Technically, Dean it is your fault. It was you who asked me to safe you. And now I am your alleged kidnapper.”

He is irritated from the long drive. His body aches. He is shocked by the news of the police suspecting him for a serious crime. 

But as soon as the words leave his mouth, Castiel regrets them.

Deans eyes drop. His shoulders slump. “I-“ 

Castiel sighs. “Wait, Dean. No. I’m a grown man, I make my own decisions.” 

It’s too dark for Castiel to read Deans face, but his eyes are misty and remorseful. 

“If you want to leave, go.” He sounds tired, but also determined. “Show your face in public and I’ll call the police and say you let me go. And then I disappear again.” 

Dean scoots over to the edge of his bed. “But don’t you fucking try to guilt trip me. Fuck you.” 

Castiel gets up from his bed and comes to stand hovering over Dean. 

He reaches out to lay a hand on Deans lukewarm cheek. 

“I shouldn’t have said that. Not because it seems to have hurt your feelings, but because it’s not what I truly feel.” He withdraws his hand and decides to instead rest it on Deans shoulder. 

“If you and your baby can start a new life with my help, it’ll be the most important thing I have ever done.” 

Dean finally looks up at him. He looks as tired as Castiel feels. “I don’t have any regrets. I’m just very tired. So much driving gets to me. But I would love to continue this journey with you- if you’ll still have me?” 

Deans face sheepishly morphs into a smile. He can’t seem to resist Castiels sweet Alpha talk. “Of course, you big sap.” 

He wraps his arms around Castiels waist. Pressing his face into his soft pajama shirt, searching for comfort in his warmth and scent. 

Castiel awkwardly pads his back. 

“I meant what I said yesterday. We are in this together.” Even though they don’t have much of a choice anymore. 

Dean inhales deeply. Taking a moment, before releasing Castiel. 

“Good, Cas.” 

 

\- Wednesday morning. Hilton Garden Inn, Utah. 10:04 AM.

 

Castiel charges his phone. And for the first time in days it lights up. Immediately the room is filled with the loud ringtones and vibrations. 

Dean startles awake from his nap in the armchair. “Huh?” His breath hitches and he scans the room for danger.

Castiel sends him an assuring smile. “Just my cellphone. You can go back to sleep.” 

Dean hums softly, hardly awake anyway. “M’kay.” 

He shifts to get comfortable again. Noting, even in his sleepy haze that Castiel had thrown a blanket over him after he fell asleep. 

He closes his eyes and lets darkness take over once more, but with a smile on his face. He felt safe with a tentative Alpha watching over him.

Castiel grabs his charged phone and leaves the room towards the balcony. He needs to make a phone call and doesn’t want to disturb Dean.

He ignores the 267 text messages. 432 e-mails and 89 missed phone calls. Instead he scrolls down his contacts and finds his old ‘friend’ under the letter C. 

Castiel closes the door behind him and leans against the railing. Watching the beautiful line of tall mountains before him.

It’s cold, but he inhales the fresh air and the freedom nature provides, nit being locked up inside or in a car. 

Crowley picks up on the third ring.

“That’s when they always call me. In their darkest hour.” Is the first thing Crowley says when he answers the phone. A smirk audible in his voice. 

“Crowley. It’s Castiel. I’m simply calling for business.” 

Crowley chuckles. “Oh my dearest Castiel, I know you are. Don’t take me for a fool.”

Castiel sighs. Crowley liked mind games and teasing even more than Gabriel. He thinks about how he used to smoke as a teenager, and how much he misses it in these moments. 

“I wouldn’t have called you if I took you for one.” 

Crowley waits for Castiel to continue. 

Castiel calculates what he’s going to say. Staring off at the horizon behind the mountains. 

It takes too long for his liking, so he groans. “Come on Cassie. Don’t leave me hanging.” 

“Right.” Castiel clears his throat. “I have this omega with me. Dean is his name.” 

He hears Crowley whistle under his breath. Not often does he sound surprised. “I didn’t take you for the type to kidnap omegas, Castiel. I had high hopes that what was said on the news was just a big misunderstanding.” 

Castiel waits him out again. He knows Crowley is an intelligent man. And that he likes the sound of his own voice. 

“I’m not known for my compassionate side, my old friend. But my moral compass isn’t off track enough for me to mess with a kidnapping or hostage situation.” Crowley growls warningly, even though he is a Beta. “I’m not a fool.” 

Castiel gives in and decides to tell Crowley the truth. He’d wanted to keep everything as much a secret as he could, but he knows Crowley won’t be helping Dean if Castiel wouldn’t give him a juicy part of the story. Crowley has always been a sucker for drama.

“Dean needs a chemical divorce in order to assure he can part ways with his current Alpha. Michael Smith. His past Omega disappeared when she filed for a divorce. Her body has yet to be found.” 

“I will have someone fact check whether that’s true or not.” Then Crowley tuts at him. As if Castiel is a little child. “Oh Castiel, how did you get your stuck up ass in this mess.” 

Castiel shrugs. “I tried to be a good person for once.” 

“And how did that work out?” Crowley teases, but Castiel is sure he’s won him over. 

“Well enough if I can get Dean to start a new life, safely.” 

Crowley, predictably caves in. “Fine. I’ll book him in.” 

“Thank you.” Castiel sighs in relief. Crowley is the King of black market chemical divorces. The best in business. 

“But Castiel, even though you are my friend, I will follow regular procedure with- what-was-his-name?” 

“Dean.” Castiel growls. “And I will pay for the best, most luxurious treatment you have.” 

Crowley likes the sound of money rolling. “He will be admitted for about a week. It’s not a very nice experience. I’m not sure if he would notice any luxuries, Castiel.” He sounds earnest, serious for once without an underlying teasing tone to his voice. 

“And all that’s beside the point. I will follow regular procedure with Dean. Which includes a mental and physical evaluation before I take him in. Capiche?” 

“Fine.” Castiel wasn’t so sure what that meant exactly, but he agrees anyway. “Upfront I would have to inform that he is pregnant.”

“Castiel Novak! You big old-“ The shock and excitement in Crowleys voice makes Castiel roll his eyes. This man liked drama to an unhealthy extent. 

“Not mine. His Alphas baby. That won’t be problem, right?” 

Crowley sounds disappointed. “Boring, Castiel, you’re not a very entertaining criminal. But to answer your question, Yes I’ve successfully helped pregnant Omegas in the past.” He warns him. “It is not easy or without danger.” 

“I know. What will this all cost?” He knows it’s expensive. A chemical divorce is a long and complex process, from what Castiel had heard. A weeks stay, food, water and electricity bills. And Crowleys employees services. 

“That’s my favorite part.” Crowley says excitedly. “Finale cost will be billed by Deans release. If he broke anything, takes two hour long showers, his stay cut short or drawn out. But it’s $35.000 upfront.” 

Castiel doesn’t have enough cash in his trunk. And this morning he found out his cards were blocked, because of his newly found criminal status. 

He’d have to grab more cash from his apartment in New York. 

“I can manage that.” 

“Great. When can I expect you?” He hears Crowley grab a pen to write the appointment down. 

He could drive to New York in two days if he had to. But they had to be careful, switch cars, and stay low. 

“Five days.” 

“Great. Five days. Come in any time. We’re open 24/7.” Crowley says cheerfully, before they end the phone call with minimal pleasantries. 

 

\- Wednesday afternoon. Hilton Garden Inn, Utah. 01:12 PM.

 

Dean and Castiel are packed and ready to go. 

There’d been a lot of planning involved now that they’re aware of their status with the police.

They leave behind a set of maps and brochures about Lawrence, Kansas where Dean was born and raised. They throw it on the floor, as if they had accidentally dropped it on their way out. 

They’d circled and traced some roads and motels along the way. Booked ahead for some of the most shady ones. 100% sure there would be no security footage at those motels.

Then Castiel paid Crowley to send some minions, a short brunet Alpha with blue eyes and a trench coat. And a tall blond green eyed Omega to check in for them. 

Send the police on the wrong trail. 

When they check out around noon, Castiel and Dean unload Castiels Jaguar completely. Every personal item removed and placed inside a big silver SUV. 

Dean had suggested they’d hot wire the car, but instead Castiel stole the key from the owner by pretending he was an employee at the hotel, a person who parks the car for VIP guests. 

The woman had looked ‘VIP’ enough to believe Castiel and handed him the key. 

Everything fit in much easier in the SUV. The trunk large and deep. Seats spacious and soft. The ultimate comfort. 

Dean had looked almost happy to be on the road again.

Castiel felt quite the opposite. He was tired of driving all day. His limps sour and his butt never stops aching.

Dean notices his disdain while Castiel finishes loading the trunk. “Let me drive.”

“No.” Castiel immediately replies and then frowns, not sure why the idea felt so wrong. 

Deans face becomes serious instantly. “Come on Castiel, I’m an excellent driver. Your ass is sick of it. Just let me drive.” 

Castiel didn’t understand why Dean driving a car made him feel uneasy. He has no reason not to believe Dean.

He’d have to deal with his weird Alpha instincts later. Right now they have to leave, because standing in a public parking lot with a stolen car wasn’t the most secure situation in the world. 

“Alright.” He caves in. “We should leave.” 

Dean grins widely, walking around the car to get into the big comfortable drivers seat. 

Castiel follows in the passenger seat and throws Deans body pillow on the backseat. They buckle up.

“Holy. Fuck.” Dean groans in pleasure when he starts the engine and the car comes to life. “That feels amazing.”

He starts the car and they leave the Hilton Hotel in the rear view mirror. 

A few sharp turns and bumps later, Castiel finds out that Dean is a really good driver. Calm, in control and a bit of a show off. Dean is smiling earnestly. 

Oddly enough they’re both smiling, despite everything. 

“You were right, you are an excellent driver. I shouldn’t have doubted you.” Castiel apologizes sincerely. 

Dean shrugs it off. “Whatever man. It’s fine. Michael never let me drive.” 

“Well,” Castiel says in a careful voice. “You’re incredibly skilled even without those years to practice.” 

That gets a full blown grin from Dean. “Now you’re just flirting, Alpha.” 

Then he winks at Castiel. And something inside him stirs. 

Deep inside his underbelly the Alpha feels the slow awakening of butterflies. 

 

\- Wednesday afternoon. Rock Springs, Wyoming. 05:42 PM.

 

The route they’d set out to New York wasn’t the fastest one. It’s illogical and not easy to predict. They take a turn towards Wyoming, and will be spending the night in a motel in South Dakota.

Castiel had caught up on some of the sleep he had lost the night before. Exhausted enough to sleep through Deans loud music. 

Though his soft singing voice did help Castiel lull into another realm. 

Hours later, Castiel woke up to aching hunger. 

They had forgotten about breakfast and dinner the night before. Castiel is used to not eating much under stress, but he felt guilty for forgetting to feed Dean. Who’s over four months pregnant. 

He blinks awake and is relieved to see Dean with a fat hamburger in his hand, humming along to Led Zeppelin with his mouth full. The car smells like grease, but Castiel is glad about it for once. 

“Morning to you too Cas.” Dean greets him when he notices Castiel shifting upright. “You have some drool on your- yeah.” 

Castiel wipes his cheeks immediately. “Thanks.” He grunts out, still slightly grumpy after his nap.

“Don’t have to be jelly.” He gestures towards the backseat where the majority of the greasy smell comes from. “I left some food for you. Think it’s still warm.” 

Castiel twists his neck and stretches his arms out luxuriously far in the enormous car. He reaches over to grab the remains of the fast food Dean hadn’t eaten. 

He hadn’t noticed the extend of his hunger until he gulped down two large fries and a dozen chicken nuggets. There is no reason to feel ashamed though, he’d seen Dean eat when he was really hungry, ever since he knew not to be ashamed of his table manners around him ever again.

After a while, Dean finishes his meal and turns down the volume of his CD. He watches Castiel finish his own food. 

“So... Aspiring CEO of Angels Inc?” 

Not a very successful way to start a casual conversation, but Dean has been wondering about that ever since the news channel had mentioned Castiels job.

“Yes. This was bound to come up in conversation at some point.” Castiel muses. His right cheek leaning against the cold glass window. “My mothers owns the family business. She’s tired and grown old. I was going to take over after the holidays.” 

Dean bites his lip. Eyes guilty. “Is that plan ruined now?” 

Castiel doesn’t want to lie to Dean, he deserves the truth. “For now it is certainly off the table. Until this lawsuit has passed by.” 

“No.” Dean shakes his head. “In the end I won’t sue you for kidnapping me, because it never happened, silly.” 

Castiel smiles at him, but it’s alarmingly sad. “It’s not you who’ll be taking me to court. The State will. Victims can be misguided by Stockholm Syndrome, or simply fear. You can only be a crown witness.” 

Dean hadn’t known that. It dawns on him that he probably ruined Castiels life. 

The mood turns sour like Deans scent. Castiel senses it immediately. “Dean. It’s okay. I knew this.”

“Well, I didn’t. No wonder you’re pissed off at me. I am pissed off at me.” He curses, slams the steering wheel in frustration. 

“If you ever want to go back to your normal, perfect life, I’ll have to come to stand trial to proof you’re not guilty. I can’t just disappear after the chemical divorce. Which means Michael will find me.” 

He groans, frustrated. His cheeks turn red with agitation and there is a knot in his stomach that makes him sick. 

“Pull over Dean.” Castiel orders in a falsely calm voice. 

Dean obeys without hesitating, alert by the clear order from an Alpha. The road is empty, but he stops the car by the side anyway. 

He shuts the engine off and stumbles out of the car uncoordinated. Everything is completely going to shit for nothing. Michael will find him anyway if he doesn’t want Castiel to rot in jail for the rest of his life. 

He can’t hold it in anymore, he bends over and throws up on the side road. His vomit comes out in big gross chunks. 

Castiels warm hand rests on his back, another combs his hair back. When he stops wrenching, he notices he’s sobbing. Pathetic and loud. 

But he can’t stop himself. The panic was too much to keep inside. He kept thinking about Castiel, and about his poor baby that never choose to be a part of this. 

Honestly, Dean never really wanted to be a part of this. He wanted to disappear far away with his baby, but it seemed like such thing was not likely to happen. 

“Dean, calm yourself.” 

“Fuck.” He physically can’t manage that. “Can’t.” 

He bends further forward and rests his palms on his knees for support. He’s hyperventilating. Disoriented and scared. 

Castiel doesn’t allow him to stay like that. He takes Deans arms and hugs him close. He allows Dean to put his weight on Castiels body. Taking him close and releasing protective pheromones into the air. 

It’s weird for Dean. Michael only released his Alpha scent after a particularly strong orgasm. His mother used to do it in absolute anger to control Dean. 

Never has an Alpha used his powers only to calm Dean down. 

He unclenches his hands. Finally feeling his nails dig into the skin. He’s still shaking, but Castiel is there to keep him steady. His mouth was dirty, but he had unconsciously rubbed the vomit onto Castiels shirt. 

“Let’s make one thing clear.” Castiel says softly, but stern directly into Deans ear. His breath causing goosebumps on Deans arms. “I will never let Michael touch you, for as long as I am alive. He will never harm you again.” 

And as weird as it sounds. Dean absolutely believed him. 

“Okay. But what about you?” 

Castiel smiles, unable to let go of Dean yet to watch his face. “What about me? We can find a way after the chemical divorce for you to testify before the courtroom and not fall into Michaels clutches. Dean, I’m a rich white male Alpha. I will be perfectly fine.” 

Dean lets out a breath he’d been unconsciously holding. Instead of pulling back though, he tugs himself closer to Castiel and buries his face in the warm scruffy neck. 

 

\- Wednesday evening. Nemo Schoolhouse, South Dakota. 10:44 PM.

 

After Deans breakdown, Castiel drove the rest of the way to their motel. 

An old house in the middle of the woods. It’s small and secure. Old, but with an impressive 5 star rating. 

Deans humming along to the radio, Castiel is trying to safely make his way through the dark unlit woods. The road barely visible. 

Then they see the light of the motel between the trees. “We’re here.” Castiel breathes out in relief. Glad they hadn’t hit any animals with their enormous car. 

Dean stops singing and looks at the white house. “It looks, uhm, antique.” 

He gently rubs his belly to calm the movement inside down.

His stretched skin is itching uncontrollably and his belly is bloated. The baby keeps kicking and rolling about, but he didn’t feel like complaining to Castiel. 

Castiel already had so much on his plate. He’s already looking after Dean more than any Alpha ever had. If his father was still alive, he would have been disappointed in Deans lack of independence. 

“Is the baby okay?” Castiel stills the car in the makeshift parking lot. He’s looking at Deans hands, that never stop rubbing down his belly. 

He nods. “Fine, Cas. It’s all normal.” 

They stare at each other for a moment. Castiel hears the strain in his voice, but Dean doesn’t look like he wants to give in. 

“Let me know if there is something I can do. Or something you need.” Castiel tells him sternly while unbuckling his seatbelt. “I’m here for you.”

Deans face morphs into a smile. “Okay Cas.” He promises. “Lets just get inside the spooky old house.” 

They get out of the car and Dean grimaces. The internal urge to clean becomes almost unbearable when they get the keys for their room from the nice woman by the front desk. 

If Dean wasn’t so tired, he would have changed the sheets before laying down on them. He’s too exhausted to do something about the uneasy dirty feeling the house gave him.

Castiel is unpacking some of their belongings alone. He puts Deans pajama on the foot of his bed, pretty sure Dean wouldn’t have the energy to actually put them on though. And puts his body pillow beside Dean on the bed. 

Dean groans appreciatively and hugs the pillow to his body. “Bless you Castiel.” He mumbles into the soft warmth. He’s hardly awake anymore, but still fully clothed on top of the blanket.

Castiel stands still next to the bed to watch the Omega. Soft with pregnancy, relaxed with sleep. The mild panic attack had left him exhausted, but too agitated to sleep in the car.

“I could take off your shoes for you.” Castiel offers tentatively. 

He doesn’t get a reply, so he leans forward and unlaced Deans boots for him. He tries to be gentle enough not to wake Dean, but when he slides the boots off he gets an annoyed grumble. 

“I know. I know. Go to sleep Dean.” 

It works. Dean mumbles an incoherent “Thanks.” before staying completely still. His breaths come out evenly. Castiel stores the shoes by the door. Takes a quick shower, puts his pajamas on and sits down on his own bed. 

He grabs the remote and turns the television on. He zaps until he’s at the same news channel from the other day. 

It takes two news items, before Deans name is mentioned again. This time it’s not Michael they’re interviewing, but a tall man with long brown hair. 

He looks tired and angry, but in a very different way from how Michael had been. He’s emotional in a very selfless way. Worried for Dean, not for himself. 

The microphones are shoved into his personal space, his expression pained while the reporters bombard him with questions. 

One reporter yells loud enough to stick out. “Samuel, what do you think happened to your brother?” 

“Turn it down.” Dean grumbles on the bed beside Castiel.

Castiel glances at him wide eyed. “Dean, I believe your brother is on the television.” He puts the program on pause and gets up to shake Dean. It has been proven in the past that it’s not easy to wake Dean up. 

“Your brother Samuel is on the television. He’s going to talk about you.” When Dean clearly hears his brothers name, his eyes rapidly blink open. 

“What?” He sits upright and stares at the paused television screen on the wall. 

And it is Sam. Only 9 years older, with never ending sideburns, hippie hair and he’s grown taller than the Empire State Building. 

“That’s my- that’s Sammy.” Dean whispers, wide eyed in wonder. “He looks tired.”

Castiel sits beside him on the bed and replaces the body pillow with himself. He hugs Dean in comfort. “He’s probably worried about you.” 

Dean nods and wraps an arm around Castiel as well. He’s anxious to hear what Sam has to say. 

“Can we watch it now?” 

Castiel immediately reaches over to his bed and grabs the remote, one arm still wrapped around Dean. 

He rewinds the news item back a few seconds, before playing it. 

“Samuel, what do you think happened to your brother?” The reporter yells, Sams head turns to the man and his microphone. 

“Michael has not contacted me after Deans sudden disappearance, even though I am the only direct family he has left.” He shakes his head in disapproval. “I’ve never trusted Michael. He has often proven that he is manipulative and abusive. A horrible unloving Alpha to my last living family member.” 

He takes a deep breath and his eyes turn misty. “I don’t believe that my brother was kidnapped by some random man. I believe that Michael is the one the police should be investigating.” 

Sam takes a few steps and waves the cameras off. “That’s all I have to say.” 

Still, people are yelling at him. Asking if he can elaborate, if he as any proof, explain to them what he means exactly. But Sam stays cool and gets into his car without saying another word. 

“News about Dean Smith is coming in fast. He and Castiel Novak were seen shopping together in a Target in Washington, but their car was found abandoned in Utah, close to the Hilton Garden Inn where they had been staying. The police didn’t want to share more-“

Castiel shuts the television down. He looks at Dean, who’s wide eyed and emotional.

“Sam is worried about me.” Sam actually cares. 

He knows he told Castiel that he would be able to get to Sam and he would take care of Dean, but he actually hadn’t been so sure. 

They hadn’t parted on good terms. Not spoken to each other for over 6 years. 

“Maybe, You should contact him.” Castiel suggests softly, watching the emotions play out in Deans eyes. “He seems to believe that something horrible has happened to you.” 

Dean tugs himself closer to Castiel and hugs him tightly. His face resting in the crook of the Alphas soft warm neck. 

“I’ll call him in the morning.” 

Castiel puts his chin on top of Deans had. “Good idea, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For each and every hotel, motel, store, road etc. I make them take, I read online reviews and see if it’s up to standard lol. The last motel was actually really beautiful and clean, but I didn’t feel like writing that. Feedback was actually 5 star rating and that it’s a nice place to stay so don’t be fooled by my writing.   
> Funny thing was that someone wrote that the food was sooo nice at the house, but it owners replied with: We are confused, we don’t serve food at the Nemo Schoolhouse.   
> I kept laughing about that lol.  
> ANYWAYYYY, thank you for reading again. I love to read comments, so pelase leave them for me xxxx


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean continue their journey, while Dean connects to his past. And Castiel reveals some of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sisters, later update sorry it was my birthday! But you got nearly 5K!   
> Reminder of the tags! Warning for triggers.  
> And some general knowledge: Stockholm syndrome means: feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim towards a captor.  
> Enjoy reading!

When Dean started losing contact with his little brother Sam, Sam was only 15 years old.

Michael had found a beautiful house for him and Dean in Seattle Washington and decided it was time for them to move. 

Far away from Sam whom was at the time living with Bobby in Lawrence. Still in high school. 

Dean hadn’t been able to refuse Michaels request to move. He was the Alpha, he made the decisions.

At first Sam and Dean called each other often. Sometimes twice a day. 

Dean was unpacking all by himself, because Michael worked a lot. Sam didn’t have anyone to talk to during lunch breaks at school. So they kept each other company over the phone.

A few months in, Sam found himself growing tall and bulky. He joined the track team and found out that making friends wasn’t so hard after all.

Dean was happy for his little brother. But daily phone calls turned into weekly phone calls. While Sam was thriving socially, Dean wasn’t. 

Michael didn’t like it when Dean went out on his own, while he was away often for work or to network with his rich friends. So he wasn’t there much to accompany Dean. 

So Dean stayed inside a lot. By himself. He didn’t dare to go outside secretly, because the house was monitored by cameras at all times. Michael was the only person he knew in Seattle, and he became rather angry whenever Dean did something he had forbidden. 

Dean didn’t want the only person around him to be angry. 

So the weekly phone calls with Sam became something he clung onto. He yearned for his brothers chattering and imagined what the animatic friends he spoke of looked like.

In return, he had nothing interesting to say. He could hardly entertain Sam by telling he’d cleaned the master bathroom for the third time that week. He cooked a new dish for Michael so he could get a little praise.

Pathetic. 

Sam hadn’t understood that. Dean just kept quiet about his life, because frankly his life was rather bland. 

Sam was under the impression that Dean was keeping his new life secret. 

Dean only let Sam speak. Avoided questions about his own life. 

One sided phone calls didn’t really appeal to Sam. Who felt left out of Deans new life. He felt like he a weekly chore to Dean rather than them having a real conversation. 

Weekly phone calls turned into occasionally updates when Dean started to feel sick.

Not the sort of sick where you throw up or sneeze. But slowly he started to feel incredibly tired.

His head was foggy. His limbs too heavy. His energy level incredibly low for some unexplained reason. 

Michael had told him not to worry about it. 

Some days Dean couldn’t get himself to get out of bed. He felt worn down and groggy. 

Michael would still have sex with him, even when Dean didn’t have the energy to keep his eyes open. 

This way, keeping track of his calendar or phone became nearly impossible. He started to forget calling Sam.

Even though every time he heard his little brothers voice, it made his day. Still his raddled brain completely forgot to call him. 

The first time he forgot to call, he apologized sincerely. Explained to Sam that he was sick. 

The first time Sam believed him. The third time he forgot to call, he got an annoyed “Whatever Dean.” 

Occasional phone calls turned into complete radio silence. 

 

\- Thursday morning. Nemo Schoolhouse, South Dakota. 8:12 AM

 

Dean takes a deep calming breath, before giving in and type Sams phone number into Castiels iPhone.

316-990-8437. He remembers the numbers by heart. It had always been Sams number since Dean had given him his first phone.

He nervously holds the phone to his ear. He’d imagined the conversation all night. Practicing what he would answer to any question.

A robotic woman answers. “We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again.”

“Fuck.” Dean grunts. He walks back into the house as fast as he can with his pregnant belly.

He uses his key to enter the room swiftly and hurries inside. 

He finds Castiel on his bed, praying. His eyes closed and his hands folded. He’s on his knees and his elbows rest on the bed. 

Dean freezes in the doorway. Cellphone clutched in his hand.

“-Please Lord look after us and keep us safe. In the name of Jesus, Amen.” 

Then Castiel looks up and smiles at him, having long noticed Deans staring. “Dean. You came back very quickly.” 

Dean nods and hands him the phone, he’s disappointed. “He has a new phone number.” 

Castiel shifts to sit on the bed and takes his phone, scrolling around. “We can see if he might be using any social media.” 

He types in ‘Sam Winchester California’ on Facebook and Instagram. His Facebook hasn’t been updated since 2015, but his instagram has been updated 23 hours ago.

Castiel gestures for Dean to sit down next to him and hands him the phone. 

“He has been looking for you.” 

When he is settled down, Dean taps on Sams most recent post. It’s an old photo of Dean. He’s 16 and he looks very happy. Skinnier than he’s now.

The caption reads: If anyone has seen my brother please contact me or the police. His name is Dean Winchester. 

There are over 500 comments. All worried and wishing Sam good luck. Sending thoughts and prayers.

“You look good in that picture. You seem very joyous.” Castiel comments, a hand resting on Deans thigh. 

Dean smiles softly. “That was a long time ago. Before Michael and I were mated.” 

He rests a hand on his belly and feels the life inside him kick and move. He does it whenever he feels sad. 

It’s a small reminder why he is alive. 

Castiel clears his throat. “We could send him a video without any visuals through his personal messages.” 

“How can we make a video without visuals?” He asks with a frown. 

“Just put your thumb over the camera. And say what you need to say.” 

Castiel gets up and puts on his shoes and grabs his coat hurriedly. 

“I’ll leave you to it. I’m going to buy us some breakfast in the town. If anything happens call me. I have my work phone with me.”

Dean is glad he doesn’t have to ask Castiel for privacy. He always gives it to him freely.

“Okay Cas. Be safe.” 

Castiel smiles at him before leaving with his wallet. “You too Dean.” 

Dean waits for him to close the door and hears his footsteps slowly fade in the hallway.

He isn’t sure how to start when he finally figures out how to send a video to Sam through Cas’ account. 

First he clears his throat. The camera is pointed towards the bed. The screen completely black. Not giving anything away about the location. 

“Sammy...” His voice is raw, but sincere and tender when he starts recording. He loves his little brother so much. The guilt made his stomach ache. “I wanted to let you know that I’m okay. Don’t tell anyone I send you this. Please delete it. I’m safe for now as long as Michael won’t find me.” 

He takes a deep breath. “I need to unmate Michael so he can’t reclaim me as his legal property. I also need you to known that I love you Sammy. Stop worrying about me.” He sniffs, not used to getting emotional when Sam could hear him. 

“Get some decent sleep, you idiot. You looked like crap on the TV.” 

He isn’t sure how to properly end the video, so he says what he might have said 6 years ago. 

“And don’t they have hairdressers in California? I could hardly recognize you under all that hair.” 

Then he stops recording. And before he can second guess himself, he sends it to Sam.

 

\- Thursday morning. Presho, South Dakota. 11:47 AM.

 

Dean had taken to driving again. Which was both relaxing and somewhat straining for Castiel.

He itches to take the driving duty over and make Dean relax. Feed him and make him rest instead of having him being the wheel. 

He decides to bring it up to Dean. His instincts are scaring him, even though he hasn’t been worried about them since high school. 

“Lately, I’ve been feeling very protective of you.” 

Dean gives him a smile. Not completely understanding what Castiel was aiming for. “I can see how much you care, how well you look after us.” He’s referring to himself and his baby. 

“We get it Cas, you’re the perfect person.” 

Castiel blushes under his mildly starting beard. He’s shocked by how sincerely Dean called him perfect. 

“If my family would hear you say that, they would have laughed at you.” 

Dean raises an eyebrow in confusion. “How so?”

“I’m not known for my overly well social skill. My brothers tease me for my manner of speaking, lack of facial expression and that I’m not always able to take social cues.” Castiel sighs, he felt like he’d well improved since high school, but his brothers never fully stopped mocking him.

Dean shrugs. “Yeah, sorta makes sense, but those are the cute quirks about you.” 

“Cute quirks?” It’s Castiels turn to raise an eyebrow. “That’s a whole new perspective of it.” 

“Cas, your brothers are dickbags if they can’t see how awesome you are.” Dean turns down the radio enough for them to hear each other breathe. 

“You’re the most genuinely caring Alpha I’ve ever met. I felt that from you since day one.” 

Castiel can’t get his face to cool down. He feel flushed from his neck to the tip of his ears. 

Dean grins at him. “I got you blushing like a maiden.” 

“I’m not used to compliments regarding my personality. So, thank you.”

Dean slaps his thigh in a friendly matter. “You’re welcome dude. Take some credit.” 

“You said you felt a click when you met me. Did you feel the same about Michael when you first met him?” 

Castiel feels like he shouldn’t have asked that, if he is reading Deans immediate tense reaction well. But he is curious as to how Dean got himself tangled into an abuse relationship.

“Nah, that was different.” His playful grin replaced by a sad smile. 

“How so?” 

Dean frowns at him. He’s tired of all the questions. “I don’t particularly enjoy sharing and caring. Especially not when you never seem to participate.” 

He wonders if Sam had felt like that when Dean wouldn’t talk about his life. Feeling left out. 

“I don’t mean to offend.” Castiel says slowly. He’s curious by nature, but also a private man himself. 

“If you want, I can tell you my story as well. Why I ran away, even though it’s stupid.” Castiel looks sideways at Dean and finds him rolling his eyes.

“Why does it always take so little for you to convince me.” He grumbles under his breath, eyes strictly on the road to avoid the intruding blue eyes. 

“Fine.” Dean gives in. “You go first.” 

Castiel clears his throat before he starts. “I told you that my family owns Angel Inc. where we develop technology on different levels. For different companies. Computers, cellphones, cameras, televisions, but also medical machines and electronic toys.” 

Dean whistles. “Now I get why you’re loaded.” 

Castiel nods. “Yes. My entire family works for the company on different branches. For example my only sister, Anna designs toys, my brother Raphael develops fast computers.”

He adds, “I don’t have a particular technical talent, but I enjoy the business aspect. Marketing, employment, administration etcétera.” 

Castiel used to be jealous of his siblings incredible talents. 

Annas designs were youthful and original.  
Gabriels capability’s to make new technology needed in hospitals and saving lives was incredible.  
Balthazar’s ability to code and hack the most complicated programs. 

But Castiel couldn’t do any of it. He couldn’t work out and realize his ideas and didn’t have those technical skills, so his mother always allowed him to work beside her at the head of Angel Inc.

“Sounds a bit bland to me, but whatever floats your boat.” Dean jokes, smiling at Castiel. “And now your mom wants you to take over?”

“Yes. Because my other brothers all have their own talents in the company, mine would be leading. When the news was announced that my mother will leave the company for me, my brothers were outraged.” Castiel shakes his head at the thought of their genuine anger and incapability to see their mothers perspective on the matter. 

“They threw with dishes and food at my mothers dinner table. Yelling at each other like uncivilized apes. I needed a break from my family, before having to work with them for the rest of my life.”

Now that Castiel reflects back on it, he genuinely feels stupid for leaving his brothers to fight one another while his mother was silently crying by the head of the table. 

He feels insensitive. Hasn’t spoken to her ever since, besides leaving the note that he will be back before the holidays. 

“You see, I’ve never in my entire life done anything impulsive. So I decided that it was now or never, I took some cash and clothes and decided on a road trip through South America.” 

Dean smiles at him, a full out grin with white teeth shining in the sun. 

“What’s so funny about that?” Castiel asks, confused.

“I’ve only known you for being impulsive and surprising. It’s just- weird. And personally I don’t think it’s a stupid reason to take a break. Your brothers sound like dicks. They Alphas too?”

Castiel shakes his head. “Only my sister Anna and I are Alphas. Lucifer, Alfie, Raphael, Balthazar and Gabriel are Betas.” 

“Are they jealous of your biological status?” Dean asks, because even though Sam is but a regular Beta, Dean always wanted to have that too. Not worrying about unfair laws, heat, the never ending fear for Alphas.

“Perhaps. Gabriel, Anna and Alfie are closest to me. Balthazar has his moments, but deep inside he cares.”

“And the others?” Dean asks curiously. “What are they like?”

“They’re always hungry for more. Lucifer and Raphael never think they have enough. They have an Alpha mentality in a Beta body. Same goes for Gabriel, but he separates business from family life quite effectively.”

In these moments, Castiel misses how he and all of his siblings all got along so well growing up. Before the family company, power, money and biological statuses.

He might have been socially awkward. He doesn’t show much emotion through his facial expressions. But his siblings used to look after each other ever since their father couldn’t anymore.

“I genuinely love all of them. But they don’t always make it very easy for me to express that.” 

Dean looks at him, for longer than is deemed safe to stop looking at the road while driving. 

His eyes meet Castiels sad nostalgic gaze. 

“Thank you for sharing with me, Cas.” 

Castiel nods, captivated by his green emerald eyes. “You’re more than welcome Dean. You’ve been nothing but an open book so far.”

Dean bites his lower lip and turns to the road again. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that if I were you.”

 

\- Thursday evening. Fairfield Inn Minnesota. 8:16 PM. 

 

-Instagram DM-

CastielNoFuck: ‘Video message’ 

Sam_WinXter: Call me. 858-451-5868 Then I will delete this conversation

—-

“Dean!” Castiel jumps up from his bed and pounds on the locked bathroom door. 

“Dean! Open up.” 

It takes a moment before the door is unlocked and slammed open. 

Dean is standing in the doorway with wet hair and a towel hanging low on his hips under his bulging belly.

“What’s happening?” He asks panicked, eyes wide and searching the room. 

Castiel takes a deep breath, pointedly not looking at Deans body. “Sorry, nothing bad. Relax.”

Dean exhales as well, slumping against the door frame. “Jesus Christ, Cas.”

“I’m sorry. But I got a message from your brother. He send his phone number.” He hands Dean the phone, even though his hands are still wet from the shower.

Deans eyes go wide again, but this time he is happy. “I- fuck. That’s Sammys number.” 

Castiel nods excitedly. “I think you should give him a ring, sooner rather than later.”

Dean agrees full heartedly. He pushes past Castiel and doesn’t get dressed or continue drying himself before sitting down on the edge of his bed. 

He doesn’t even care that Castiel is in the room to hear the conversation. Dean needs to hear his brothers voice.

He struggles to type Sams number into the device with his wet shaking fingers, but he manages and waits for his little brother to answer.

From across the room Castiel is staring at him. His eyes fixed on Deans firm round belly. He hears the dial tone, they both hold their breath until someone picks up the call on the other end. 

“Sam speaking.” 

Castiel hears Dean gasp, his eyes immediately watering at the sound of his little brothers grown up voice.

“Sammy, it’s me. It’s Dean.” He sniffs and smiles at the same time.

Castiel is convinced they’ll be alright. He grabs a bundle of clothes, before locking himself up in the bathroom in order to give them some quietness and privacy.

“Dean, I can’t believe it.” Sam isn’t able to keep the gates from flooding himself. “Fuck. I was convinced you were dead.”

“You don’t get rid of me so easily.” He grins through his tears. “I’ve grown tough.” 

Sam snorts. “Yeah me too.” Then he immediately turns serious. 

“Are you in danger? Has that Alpha really kidnapped you?”

Dean scoffs. “No. I swear I’m safer with Castiel on the road than with Michael. Cas has been helping me.”

“No offense, but why?” Sam asks doubtfully, just as Dean had doubted the Alpha after they’d run from the tank station back in Seattle.

“Because he’s a good person.” 

It sounds ridiculous for someone who doesn’t know Castiel and how much he genuinely cares for Dean. 

“Where is he now?” Sam asks, still unconvinced about Deans safety. 

Dean smiles. “In the bathroom, he’s giving me some privacy.” He puts a hand on his belly where the baby kicks. “I understand that you’re worried, but I’m safe. I can go whenever I want and wherever I want to go.” 

“Then why...” Sam hesitates. “I’m here for you Dean. You could have come to me. You still can.” 

A weight is lifted off Deans chest. His eyes watering for a whole new reason, because his brother still wants him. 

Truly wants him.

“Eventually...” 

“What’s first? Why not fight Michael legally. Together we might stand a small chance.” But Sam doesn’t have the full picture. Doesn’t know what depends on Dean getting rid of Michael.

Dean shakes his head even though Sam can’t see it. He feels his child kick again inside his stomach. 

“Too many ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ for me. I’m getting a chemical divorce.” 

Sam falls quiet. “Dean...” 

“I have to, Sam.” Dean presses. “Can you do something for me?”

Sam sighs, he knows he can’t convince his brother to do anything he doesn’t want to. “I’ll do anything for you Dean.”

Deans heart clenches. “Can you do some research on Michaels ex girlfriend, her name was Bella-something.”

Sam writes it down. “Okay.”

“I’m afraid that if Michael has his way, I’ll end up like her. Gone.” He whispers, still at times afraid someone will hear him through the thin walls. 

“And, uhm... I’m pregnant, Sam.” 

“You’re what?” Sam curses loud enough for Dean to flinch. “Fuck, Dean. Is it Castiels?” 

Dean scoffs. “I’m five months pregnant. Maybe four. Haven’t seen a doctor yet. I didn’t dare to tell Michael.” 

Sam takes a deep breath, unable to stay calm. “You really can’t legally fight him, can you?”

“Not while I’m mated and pregnant with his child. Not without proof of what he has done.” Dean says. “I need more time before Cas and I go to the police.” 

“Dean, I’m sorry.” Sam whispers. “I-“

“It’s not your fault Sammy. You’re helping us.”

Sams voice is shaking. “No, Dean listen. I overheard the police radio communication. You’re in Fairfield Inn Minnesota. They know.”

Dean bolts up from the bed. The towel falls down to his ankles, but he doesn’t even notice the cold.

“What?!” He hisses loud enough for Castiel to hear through the door.

“I wanted them to come and safe you from the Alpha, from Castiel. I thought you might have Stockholm Syndrome. But you’re right, you need a chemical divorce. While I search for evidence against Michael.” Sams voice is laced with guilt. 

Then Castiel comes out of the bathroom with only a towel around his toned waist. 

If Dean wasn’t so panicked he would have taken a longer time watching Castiel shirtless. He’s muscular, fine abs and a just the sexy amount of chest hair.

Dean lowers the phone and panics. “We need to get dressed and go. The police have found us.” 

Castiel immediately jumps into action. He puts on clothes in record time and throws a bundle of sweatpants at Dean. 

“Sam, do you know where they are?” Dean puts the phone on speaker while putting his own clothes on. 

“I heard them speak about twenty minutes ago. The information came from the employees of the motel. I don’t know anything else.” 

Castiel is dressed already and is packing everything they really needed. “Then we’ll climb out through the window. To avoid them seeing us leave.”

It’s the first time Sam hears Castiel speak. “You should also leave your phones. I think it’s how they tracked you.” 

Dean finally has his boots on and helps Castiel throw their mostly bags out of the window. 

“Can you climb out?” Castiel asks, now that he knows Dean is pregnant he feels less comfortable with him straining himself. 

Dean looks out of the window, down towards the ground. It’s a bit further down than at the tank station.

“If you go first and help me, I’ll be good.”

Castiel climbs out first and jogs to get the car closer to the window. So that they don’t have to carry their bags all the way to the parking lot.

Dean is about to follow out, but first he grabs his phone from the bed and takes a pen from the motel. “What’s your phone number Sammy?”

“858-451-5868.” Dean writes it down on his arm. And repeats it to be sure he has it right.

“We’ll leave the phones. I’ll call you when I can, alright?” Dean makes his way over to the window and sees Castiel loading their car, quietly trying not to draw any attention. 

“Dean. I’m sorry.” Sam says again, sounding like a kicked puppy. 

Dean sighs. “We’ll deal with that later. For now, do what I asked, alright?” 

“I will Dean, but be safe. Castiel as well.” 

Dean promises he will, and they end the phone call. He deletes Castiels instagram account, deletes the call history and smashes the phone against the wall and stomps on it until it doesn’t turn back on. He repeats the same with Castiels work phone.

“Dean, we need to go.” Castiel hisses up at the window. Shivering in the cold. 

Deans head peaks out and he slowly lowers himself down with Castiels help.

Then they disappear into the night, hopefully unnoticed.

 

\- Friday morning. Callan Rd, Wisconsin. 3:12 AM. 

 

They drove for over five hours. Taking abandoned roads and driving far over the speed limit in order to avoid the police.

Dean grew tired. His head was slumping and he was falling asleep while driving even though his music was loudly blasting to keep him awake.

Both of them were starting to doze off, and the car swerved. 

They startled awake and decided to call it a night. It’s too dangerous to continue.

Castiel suggested to park the car in a quiet forest between the trees. Where no cop would come looking. 

Dean was too tired to disagree, even though he wants to be further away from where the police thought they were. He couldn’t keep his eyes focused. 

Dean parks the car in a small clearing in the forest. Hidden between the trees in the dark.

They pull their seats all the way back, Castiel gets out in the cold to grab Dean body pillow from the trunk.

They leave the window open just a little bit for air and shut down the engine to safe gas. 

Dean finds a button that makes the roof of the car disappear and gets replaced by a glass barrier. 

Now they can look at the stars, while rethinking every dumb decision they’ve made that got them in this uncomfortable decision in the first place. 

“We were dumb to keep my phones around.” Castiel is the first to speak his mind.

Dean nods. “I was dumb to think Sam would leave me with an Alpha he thought had kidnapped me.” 

“Yeah. And we were dumb for showing our faces so often in public.” Castiel adds. 

“We were dumb for not buying some blankets for emergencies.” Dean shudders in the cold.

Castiel looks at him and puts an arm around him to keep him warm.

When Dean doesn’t complain, he pulls Dean closer, until they’re practically tangled up together. 

Deans head is on Castiels chest. Arms wrapped around each other. Deans leg between Castiels. While they use the body pillow as a long pillow for them to share.

“What are you doing?” Dean asks tiredly, when Castiel pulls him impossibly close until he’s nosing Castiels soft neck and finds some warmth. 

“You’re cold.” 

Dean nods with teeth chattering. “You’re cold too.” 

Castiel inhales the scent of Deans hair and pulls him in tighter. “We can keep each other warm.”

It takes a while before Dean regains feeling in his numb toes. 

It’s late autumn and cold at night, but they can’t keep the heater on all night, and they can’t risk driving while being so tired. They also can’t risk getting a hotel while the police knows what area they’re in. 

Castiels fingers warm between Deans arm and side. 

Their teeth stop chattering after a bit, but there are goosebumps on Castiels leg where Dean is rubbing his icy feet against. 

And his rounding belly is pressed against Castiels flat muscular abs. 

If this had been a scene in some movie, it would have been romantic. An Alpha and an Omega in a car together in the middle of the forest. Keeping each other warm while looking at the stars. 

But there was nothing tender or whimsical about the guilt that is eating at Deans heart. 

He’d put Castiel in this situation. Cold, alone and unsure about his future.

“I hate myself for doing this to you.” He admits. “It’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done.” 

“Dean,” Castiel says for the millionth time. “I am here to make sure that you’re safe from Michael and-“ 

“I was dumb for mating Michael in the first place.” Dean pushes away from Castiel to look at him. To show him how much he regrets his life for the past 9 years.

“Dean, you can’t-“ 

“I was 16, Cas.” And then, all emotions are out there. His panic for the police, anger at Sam for at first keeping his knowledge a secret, his feat for Michael.

But it’s not the hormones that make Dean emotional, it’s the trauma he’s been living.

“I was 16 years old and Michael was 32. And I was stupid enough to mate him.” Dean tugs on Castiels shirt to pull himself closer again. He inhales Castiels Alpha aroma to calm himself. 

“I ruined my life, because I’m a high school drop out, dumb fuck up Omega. Who’s too easily persuaded. And now I ruined your life and next I’ll ruin the life of my baby.” 

Castiel contains the anger bubbling in his chest. It could not be legal for a 32 year old man to marry a 16 year old teenager. He’s shocked by the thought. 

“You were abused Dean. You were young and manipulated.”

“Stop making excuses for me.” Dean orders him. “I’m a grown man.”

Castiel is physically shaking Dean now, holding his shoulders and rocking him to punctuate every word he growls. “At 16 you were a child. And Micheal was a child predator. He should never have laid eyes on you in the first place.” 

He wipes away one of Deans tears, his hand is shaking with rage he doesn’t want to let out on Dean. “Your life isn’t over, Dean. My life isn’t over either. We aren’t dead.” 

Dean can’t look him in the eyes right now. His eyes are too sincere and bright in the dark car. 

Castiel ducks closer until Dean doesn’t have anywhere else to look but his face. “Your unborn child’s life hasn’t even started. We still have time to pull our shit together before the baby comes.” 

Dean can’t help himself. He has to ask again. “We?” 

Instead of reassuring Dean with more words. Castiel leans fully in and gives him the softest of all kisses on his forehead. 

Because it seems like it’s been a while since Dean could truly trust someone based on their actions, instead of their word. 

“We.” Castiel adds with his tender lips still resting against Dean.

He tries with every ounce of his being to control his Alpha instincts to start the car, find Michael and murder him.

Soon. Castiel tells himself while keeping the Omega warm. 

Soon Michael will pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks. So this was the chapter I dreaded. A filler chapter. Didn’t love this one, haven’t posted it while it was ready because I felt like shit lol.  
> So next one will be better and come sooner. I was busy because it was- MY BIRTHDAY yall.  
> Please leave a comment, it’s literally what motivates me to write. It gives me life. Idk what I’d do without comments.


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel visit Castiels childhood town. They finish their journey towards New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still reading this story, completely bless you!

"Mr Smith, I have some good and bad news." The doctor sighs and folds her arms over her desk.

Deans heartbeat is deafening. He can hardly understand a word she says. 

He's been dreading this appointment for months.

"The results of the tests were negative, my apologies." 

Michael looks unhappy and squeezes Deans thigh under the table. Hard. 

Dean holds back a wince. He's shaking with fear, wondering what his future will look like now.

The past few weeks had felt like hell. The induced heats, endless knotting, medication and awkward appointments with the gynecologist were only the beginning.

"The good news is," The doctor tries to perk them up after taking in the couples grim faces. "Our clinic provides different types of infertility treatments. Including anonymous treatment, for if you don't want to know who is the cause of infertility within the relationship." She smiles at them. Has smiled at the countless of sad, desperate couples in her office. 

She doesn't notice the way Michaels hand is causing a bruise on Deans tender thigh. 

She can't see how Dean is dreading of the rage Michael will unleash on him when they got home. 

"We would prefer an anonymous treatment. I wouldn't want people to know and embarrass my Omega." Michael says charmingly as he is to strangers. 

The doctor hands both Michael and Dean a few brochures with a lot of information. 

"It's not a cheap treatment, but I suppose that won't be a problem." The doctor asks with a raised eyebrow. The private clinic was expensive to get an appointment with in the first place. 

$40.000,- the paper reads.

Michael huffs and spares Dean one short glance. "If I had known it would cost me so much, I wouldn't have mated damaged goods." 

The woman laughs, she's an Alpha as well. "It must be a disappointment, but I will do anything I can to get him all fixed up down below."

Dean quietly thinks their infertility is a sign from the universe.

He is not te type of person to pray, but he begs God to never get him pregnant with Michaels child.

 

\- Sunday morning. Rose of Saint Paul Catholic Church, Pennsylvania. 9:48 AM.

 

"Cas, it's too late for me to wash off my sins now." Dean jokes when Castiel parks opposite the busy parking lot in front of the church.

They have been almost nonstop on the road since Friday. Only stopping at drive throughs, to sleep, or to switch seats. 

Castiel insisted to stop by a small town in Pennsylvania. 

"I'm not forcing you to come with me, but I haven't missed church since I had the chickenpox when I was five." Castiel confesses, while putting on a neat elegant woolen coat. 

He checks his hair in the rear view mirror and tries to flatten it. 

"Oh. I didn't know you were that religious." Dean watches Castiel nit pick at himself to look presentable. "I'm not really the type myself." 

"My family are church goers." He shuts the engine off and hands Dean some cash. "You can stay here or grab some breakfast. I'll be back in an hour and a half." 

Dean takes the money, and pockets it. His spare hand rests on his ever rounding belly.

He wouldn't feel very welcome in church. He's sure God truly hates him. 

Even more than Dean hates himself. 

He took away Deans mother, then his father, the relationship with his brother, his freedom, his good health and last but not least, his will to live.

"You can also come with me." Castiel suggests after Dean has grown quiet, retreaded into his own mind.

"Won't they recognize us?" Dean asks uncertainty. Seeing what seems like the whole town trickling into the church outside the car.

"I used to live here when I was a child." Castiel says and waves at a red haired woman that walks by their car- recognizing him. 

"Fucking hell." Dean automatically ducks away, which makes the woman chuckle and continue walking. 

Deans heart is jumping out of his chest. He glares at Castiel. "They already recognize us." 

Castiel calms him down by laying a hand on Deans shoulder. "Relax. She knows me personally, not from the news. These people don't have have television, or internet."

Dean looks horrified. "You are that type of religious?" 

"Not anymore." Castiel smiles at him.  
Amused by Dean genuine shock. "But if they were looking for us, there would be wanted posters hanging around with our faces on it." 

He opens the car door and steps outside, the service is about to start. "I'll see you in a bit. Don't worry." 

Dean can't not worry. He feels like there is a huge red target on his back. But still he nods. 

"Okay Cas. Have 'fun'." He air quotes with his fingers, skeptical. 

Castiel smiles warmly at him and shuts the car door. 

Dean watches him leave the parking lot and cross the road to the church.

There he greets the red haired woman from before. He hugs her tightly, before giving her a similar smile to the one he gave Dean.

A smile Dean had thought was only reserved for him. Even though he has no right to think that. 

Castiel receives a full blown grin in return. They link their arms together and enter the church as a couple.

Then Dean feels something he hasn't felt in a long time. His face heats up with anger. 

Hot seething jealousy. 

It's not his mind that gets Dean out of the car, marching into the church with determination in his stride. 

It's the pregnancy hormones. 

He thinks?

"Dean?" Castiels eyes light up when he sees Dean unexpectedly stomps over to him, a hand on his belly and his eyes on where Castiel and the woman are touching. 

"Cas." 

Dean is panting and sweating by the time he reaches Castiels side. A hand on his hip to rest. "I'm here." 

While Castiel looks perplexed, the woman is giggling, handing him a handkerchief to wipe away the sweat. "Here you go sweetie. What's your name?"

Dean wipes at his forehead, but narrows his eyes at her. She's an Omega as well. Threatening his position with Castiel. 

"Dean. Who are you?" 

It takes a moment, but then Castiel understands what's going on. 

Slowly he lets go of Hester and leans towards Dean, putting a comforting arm around his waist. 

"This is my childhood babysitter, Hester. And Hester this is Dean. My uh-" 

"Mate." Dean answers for him. More determined out loud than how he actually feels inside. He doesn't know why he wants Castiels hands only on him. His smile only for him. 

Hester lights up. "You're going to be a daddy, Cassie?" She reaches out to touch Deans bump. 

He flinches back. Strangers shouldn't touch him like that. 

"Oh sorry, dear. Got me so excited." Hester laughs, unbothered by Deans hostile behavior. 

Castiel is still holding him, wide eyed with shock. 

"Dean is shy." He lies, because Dean isn't really shy. Hasn't always been anyway. Strangers just unsettle him.

Castiel talking to strangers unsettles him. 

"Maybe we can go find a seat." He suggests before he or Hester manages to piss Dean off even more. 

Nobody likes the smell of unhappy pregnant Omega. They're drawing attention of the other church goers.

Castiel tightens his arm around Deans waist and allows the Omega to lean against him when they find a seat.

Castiel leans in to whisper into Deans ear. "We'll talk about this in the car."

Dean shrugs. "Whatever." The adrenaline wearing off with Hester a few steps away from Castiel. 

The church is full. They need to sit further in the back. Hester is left of Castiel, Dean on his right side. 

Dean still hasn't fully regained a normal breathing pattern. He's huffing and puffing. Sweating and hot in the crowded church.

Everyone is dressed formally. Clean shaven and fresh.

Dean is out place in his t-shirt, jacket and denim jeans. He hasn't showered in days and hadn't put on deodorant this morning before rushing after Castiel. 

"Young man?" A beautiful older woman with a huge purple hat taps him on the shoulder. 

"Yeah?" Dean asks, wondering how he had already managed to piss someone off.

She hands him a white lace handheld fan. "You seem to have come a little unprepared."

Dean takes it gratefully. He feels disgusting with the sweat rolling down his temples. 

"Don't you need one yourself ma'm?" He asks out of politeness. 

She waves him off. "I always carry two. Don't you worry, enjoy the service." Before she leans back into her seat.

Dean turns back around and uses the fan to cool himself down. 

Everyone quiets down when the priest comes to his stand and choir takes their place.

Dean is already bored before the choir finishes their first song. He hates himself for not thinking through that he would have to sit in church for over an hour, without any food. 

He'd been in such a hurry to go after Castiel. His mind wasn't in the right place. 

His hand rests on his belly where the baby is kicking him hard in the bladder. He really needs to pee, but he can't think of a polite way to sneak out of a church at the beginning of the service.

It all sort of pays off, when Dean shifts his eyes over to Castiel. And finally notices that Castiel is smiling at him while singing along with the choir. Amused by Deans grumpy facial expression.

Dean feels the baby kick again. And quickly he grabs the hand Castiel has on his knee and rests it on his belly where the baby is moving. 

"Dean." Castiel interrupts his singing with a wondering smile. Hand flat and firm on Deans stomach. "That's- thank you." 

Dean just leans further into him. Willing to give Castiel the moment with Deans baby as a thank you for putting up with him. 

 

\- Sunday morning. Rose of Saint Paul Catholic Church, Pennsylvania. 11:37 AM.

 

Dean groans loudly when he's finally settled in the comfortable leather seat of the car.

"Fucking hell. Why is my back like this." He melts into the soft seat. A million times better than the wooden benches in church.

"Because you're carrying a baby." Castiel points out while settling into the passengers seat. 

They buckle up and Dean turns the radio on. Only local radio stations work in this town, none of them play classic rock or even pop music.

Dean hits the gas paddle and looks at Castiel. "Where to?"

"I was thinking of finding a phone booth, so you can call Sam." Castiel suggests. 

Dean grimaces. "They have phone booths here? Are we in 2003?" 

"More like the 1980's." Castiel says. "If I remember correctly they have one at the local supermarket. To the left here."

Dean drives the car for a short thirty seconds before they arrive at a market square. With a parking lot, supermarket, a diner, a little dog park and a phone booth.

He parks the car and turns to Castiel. "You gonna wait or what?"

Castiel searches for some coins in his wallet before handing them to Dean. "I'm going to buy us some food. We aren't far away from New York anymore, so we won't need a lot."

"Alright, back in ten?" Dean asks. 

"Good plan. Say hi to Sam from me." Castiel says while unbuckling his seatbelt.

Dean snorts. "Well he's not your biggest fan so I probably won't." 

Castiel snorts. "Whatever you say. I'm just being civil." 

They get out and go their separate ways. 

Dean opens the glass door of the phone booth and looks at the machine that serves as a phone. 

He counts the coins Castiel gave him, serving enough for a five minute phone call

He used to call his parents in a phone booth when he stayed over at his grandparents house when he was a kid. Grandpa Samual had to lift him up to reach the buttons at the time.

Now he is by himself in the claustrophobic space. He has to unroll his sleeve to read Sams number from his skin, while dialing it in.

He puts the black enormous phone to the side of his face and waits for Sam to pick up. 

He shifts to get comfortable. Leaning against the glass wall, putting his free hand under his belly where the stretching skin keeps itching. 

Dean feels incredibly uncomfortable in his own body right now. The baby bump growing fast, sleeping uncomfortably in the small space of the car, sitting on the wooden bench in church, not being able to shower in the past few days. 

He feels like crawling out of his own skin.

"Come on, Sammy." Dean grumbles with an eye roll after the phone beeps for the fourth time. 

It's getting  cold outside, Dean will be needing gloves soon. Normally he wouldn't be outside much to feel the cold, but now that he's out of the house for the first time in years the cold is getting to him again.

"Hello?" Sam asks uncertainly. 

Dean huffs. "It's me Sammy. Dammit keep your phone close when your fugitive brother promises to call." 

He's annoyed, but he shouldn't let it all out on Sam. He'll regret that later, after having a decent meal and he'll think straight again. 

"I'm sorry. I was at work. And the police warned me that I might be getting a phone call from your kidnapper with his demands." Sam says quickly, sounding like he's walking fast or jogging.

"Sam, I'm not being held captive. I'm driving most of the time for Gods sake, so don't worry about that." Dean tries to assure him, but Sam remains skeptical.

"Okay Dean. Sorry again." 

He can hardly recognize Sams voice in his new deep grown up tone. Dean feels drained. "It's fine. And don't you get a lunch break from your job?" 

Sam chuckles. "Yeah, officially. But they keep me busy."

"Well, tell them to go fuck themselves. You need lunch time, Sammy." Dean lectures him. He actually wants Sam to be alone in a room so that they can talk business.

"I can hardly tell a bunch of kids they should go F-themselves because I want a lunch break." 

Dean is confused. "Kids? What the hell are you doing with kids?"

"Yeah Dean, I'm a high school teacher." Sam explains. "I know that I always talked about being a lawyer or doctor, but becoming a teacher was faster and cheaper."

Dean can't believe Sam is wasting a his brain power on teaching ungrateful booger picking teens. 

He's disappointed. 

Somehow it feels like it's all his fault. 

"I'm sorry Sammy." He whispers, leaning his head back against the glass. He should have been there to push Sam to persuade his dreams.

"Hey Dean, that's not your fault." Sam says genuinely, but Dean knows better. He should have been the nurturing parental figure in Sams life. 

But he wasn't there. He was too busy being Michaels defect baby making machine. 

"It really is my fault. You had a bright future-." 

Sam laughs. "Oh my God, Dean. If you come home safe, free from Michael. I couldn't possibly be any more happy. I swear."

Dean can't talk about this right now. He has enough guilt weighing on his heart. He can't use this as well.

"I only have like five minutes to talk before I run out of coins." 

Sam clears his throat. "Right, I'm alone now. Let's get to business."

"Found anything on Bella?" Dean asks, curious about her. He never dared to google her while he lived with Michael. Afraid his Alpha would find out. 

But when Michael got drunk with his friends, sometimes Dean would pick up on some of their gossip, while they were drinking in the living room and he was doing the dishes with the maid. 

"Yes. Like you said, she was dating Michael for about two years. They were freshly married when she filed for a divorce, but not mated yet." 

Michael had approached Dean the opposite way. Mated him as soon as he could and stalled the wedding for when they got to know each other better. 

Mating is more binding than legal papers anyway.

"She should have been easily able to leave him. If she can proof his abuse." Dean adds. Frowning.

"Which is not easy. Her case was considered weak by the judge. Before she could appeal, she disappeared and was never found again." Sam exhales. "I strongly believe that Michael is behind all this. If an Omega divorces you, it's considered highly embarrassing and this would likely damage his business relationships and work."

Dean agrees. "Michael doesn't like it when people aren't doing what he expects them to do. He's controlling."

"And I fucking let you go with him." Sam accuses himself. "I let him abuse you." 

"Stop that, Sam." 

Sam can’t control himself. "Fucking hell Dean. He's dangerous. I knew this. Bobby knew this and we didn't stop you."

Dean hushes him. "Shut up Sam. You were 12. Practically a baby." 

They are both quiet for a moment. 

"You're still a baby." Dean adds with a snort. 

"Fuck you. You are having a baby.” Sam retorts. 

Dean has a private smile on his face that he can’t help, despite everything. “Bitch.” 

“Jerk.” Sam snorts. “It’s like nothing changed but everything did. Or something.”

“Yeah, very wise words Sammy.” Dean says sarcastically. 

He waits for a moment, hearing his stomach grumble loudly. “And I’m hungry.” 

“We’ve almost run out of time anyways. I haven’t heard anything from the police about picking up your trail again.” Sam says from the other side. “Michael is playing the biggest victim on national television. Big fussy concerned Alpha.” 

Dean rolls his eyes. “He wants me dead. He’s so angry.” 

He catches himself shaking with fear, wondering how long Michael will let the police investigate before he sends his own people to find Dean. They have their dirty ways, faster ways to get him and Castiel.

Probably what happened to his past Omega as well.

“Dean. I won’t let whatever happened to that Bella chick happen to you.” Sam promises. “Get yourself that chemical divorce and buy me some time to build a case against Michael.” 

“How’s that coming along anyway?” Dean asks to distract himself from his loudly beating heart. He wonders if he has a case at all. Michael knows how to keep his affairs secret.

“I found you a lawyer. She’s my good friend, Charlie.” Sam sounds for once optimistic. “She’s digging dirt on Michael, but she’ll need to speak to you as well, about what he has been doing to you for the past few years.” 

Dean grimaces. “Do I have to...?” 

“Yeah, I think if it’s that bad, it’ll probably help your abuse case. You need to convince the judge that you are a victim and he is an assaulter.” 

Sam winces at Deans silence. “You want to divorce him. Don’t you?” 

“Fuck, of course I do.” Dean immediately says. “I cannot have my baby around that man. That’s dangerous.”

Sam nods. “Exactly. So tell Charlie why this is dangerous. Tell her what happened to you- I’ll give you her number.”

Dean groans. He doesn’t really want to relive what happened to him all those years, but Sam is probably right. 

If he wants out of the relationship, he needs to out Michael.

He grabs a pen from his pocket and writes the number Sam gives him on the blank skin he has left on his arm.

“Thanks Sammy, for helping.” Dean says when he unrolls his sleeve again.

“We’re brothers Dean. I need you safe and sound at home.” Sam gulps, sounding emotional. “If you need me to come pick you up-”

Dean chuckles. “Castiel and I are fine. If you would come to me you would just lead the police my way. They’d notice if a school teacher suddenly disappeared, right after his kidnapped brother.” 

“I hate it when you make sense.” Sam says, Dean can imagine a small smile on his face. 

“Look after yourself, Dean.” 

“I will. Cas says hi, by the way-” 

Then, the phone machine says he’s ran out of minutes and that he’ll have to add coins to continue the call.

Dean checks his pockets, but he doesn’t have any more. In the car they only have banknotes that the machine doesn’t take.

“Fine.” Dean groans and waits in the drivers seat for Castiel to return. 

 

\- Sunday afternoon. New York City, New York. 4:12 PM.

 

“Without traffic we would have made it to my apartment in three hours.” Castiel retorts, while they sneak their way into the apartment complex with sunglasses and caps on as a weak disguise.

“But this is New York. So we got stuck in traffic for over an hour.” Dean grumbles, while straightening his cap. Of course it’s also raining.

Dean wasn’t allowed to carry any of the bags, so he was about to open the door before he noticed a handsome doorman holding it for him. 

“There you go, Sir.” The Beta winks at him and flashes him a smile.

Dean flushes while stumbling inside. People usually don’t flirt when he’s with an Alpha. He feels flustered. “Oh uh, thanks.”

He scans Dean down, takes him in and wiggles his eyebrows. “You’re very welcome, have a nice day, handsome.” 

Castiel comes after him and sends the doorman a dirty look. “That will be all.” He growls to the man, before leading Dean towards the elevator.

He puts an arm around Dean and glances back to make sure the doorman sees them touch. 

Dean, instead of teasing him for being sensitive, walks into the elevator and stays close to Castiel with a thoughtful frown on his face.

Luckily, they’re alone, so they can speak freely as soon as the doors close. 

“What’s wrong with us?”

Castiel looks at him, a bit confused. “What part of us are you referring to?”

Dean takes a step back from him and watches Castiels arm slowly undo itself from where it was holding onto Dean. 

“Why are we acting as if we are mated?” 

Castiel feels cold now that they aren’t touching. He had been thinking about their obscure behavior for the past few days.

“The only explanation I can think of, is your pregnancy hormones have you looking for an Alpha to protect your offspring. While my instincts are telling me to protect you.” Castiel theorizes, but he knows it’s not all. It’s not enough of an explanation.

“Why do I feel like ripping out Hesters throat while she speaks to you? That has nothing to do with my baby.” Dean runs his hands through his hair frantically. He feels like he’s going crazy. 

Castiel sighs. Dean is growing agitated and he wants him to calm down. “Dean. It’s probably nothing-” He slowly reaches out to touch Dean. 

“No! I’m done depending on Alphas!” He bursts out. Wrapping his own arms around his belly. 

“I shouldn’t need you. I shouldn’t care for you.” Dean leans against the wall opposite of Castiel, standing as far away from him as he could in the small space.

His cheeks are burning with anger and embarrassment. His body shaking with fear. He’s done being at the mercy of Alphas.

“I’ve known you for like a week, Castiel. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can’t go a week without whoring myself out to the next Alpha.” 

Castiel doesn’t dare to step closer, but his shoulders slump in sadness. 

“Dean, please don’t speak like that about yourself.” He begs, eyes searching for Deans teary ones. 

“I have never been able to emotionally connect to anyone in my life the way I have connected to you. I am horrified that friends I’ve known my entire life- or my family... don’t even connect to me the way I connect to you.” 

He drops the bags and has to remind himself not to move too fast and scare Dean. Who’s unable to back up against the wall any further, looking uncomfortable.

“I feel weird too. I don’t understand why I feel  
So strange.” Castiel admits. 

Dean sniffs. “I feel fucking strange too.” He wipes away one of his stray tears. “I need a goddamn shower, Cas.”

Castiel nods, a small smile on his face. “I have a huge bubble bath upstairs.” 

“I need that, man.” Dean whispers, looking down at his feet. “I’m not myself anymore. I’m not sure if I even have my own personality.” 

Castiels eyes go wide. “Of course you do, Dean. You have amazing characteristics.” He promises, but Deans eyes are so deeply sad. 

“I’ve never really been my own free person, Cas. Even now that I’m free I’m latching onto you like an idiot octopus.” He grumbles unhappily.

Dean hates himself so much. He’s so fucked up and flawed that he can’t even be free properly.

“You can’t think that of yourself Dean. Our fake mating bond doesn’t define you as a person.” Castiel promises.

And instead of invading Deans space, he opens his arms wide and waits for Dean to accept the hug.

“It doesn’t?” Dean asks uncertainly. “Michael definitely defined who I was.” 

Castiel shakes his head. “Michael suppressed who you were. Took away your freedom as well. So he could control you. I’m not controlling you, am I?” 

Dean shook his head. “You told me I could leave at any time.”

Castiel nods, his arms start to grow heavy and shake. He can’t hold them up much longer. “When we arrive at my apartment, you can take the same lift back downstairs. You’ll never have to see me again.” 

Dean looks him in the eyes. Sees the sincerity in those sky blue orbs. 

And he decides to give into the hug. Putting his body weight onto Castiels smaller frame.

“I don’t want that, Silly. We’ve come way too far.”

 

\- Sunday evening. Castiels penthouse, New York. 6:31 PM.

 

Dean hasn’t ever seen a bathtub as large as Castiels.

At least four full grown would be able to comfortably stretch out in the tub together. 

The porcelain and stone is beautiful, but soft and smooth under Deans aching body.

Castiel has a Lush worthy supply of soaps and liquids in his bathroom that make Dean smell strongly like lavender. 

His skin is turning soft and wrinkly. He can fill the tub to his chin without the danger of it overflowing. He also added bubbles for fun.

Dean had thought Michael was rich. But Castiels apartment was luxurious in a way Dean hadn’t experienced before.

There was a television hanging in front of the tub, fireplace keeping Dean even warmer, a glass closet with a bath-bomb collection, speakers in surround sound, tile heat warming and so much more. 

There are candles, dimmed lights and soft music. Castiel was making food in the kitchen, so Dean was all by himself for the first time in days.

He tentatively spreads his legs. This bath was never built for one person. He feels himself blush with the thought of Castiel having guests over and inviting them in his enormous bathtub.

He tries not to think about the orgies Castiel could have had in here.

Three Omegas all surrounding Castiel, touching him slowly while the water heats them up, turns their smooth bodies slick.

Or Castiel with two other Alphas, all trying to get their way with one Omega. Surrendering the Omega with their large muscular bodies. Licking him and touching his sensitive skin.

Dean hadn’t noticed he’s hard, until he feels his warm slick fingers wrap around his long untouched cock. 

He melts into the bathtub and bites back a moan. His skin prickles with excitement when he unconsciously jerk his hips.

His face flushes a deeper red. His nipples turn hard, sensitive from the pregnancy alone. 

He hadn’t masturbated in years.

Slowly, he allows himself to caress his small cock in his hand, while his other hand lowers further south towards his hole.

He spreads his legs wider. Unable to resists the soft moan that leaves his lips when he enters. 

There is enough slick for him to slowly start thrusting, his hips arching up along with the heat waves. 

He clenches down onto his finger when his mind wanders over to Castiel. When they had to run from the hotel and he’d been naked.

His body slick with water, defined well kept abs, incredibly masculine but still watching with those soft caring eyes.

He gasps at the familiar heat slowly building in his lower belly. Pregnancy made him horny. 

Castiel made him horny. 

“Oh jesus.” He breathes out, feeling himself reach the edge much sooner than he should. 

Everything feels damp and hot. He’s going to burst with lust-

“Dean. I have dinner.” There is a knock on the door, before Castiel enters with a trey of food.

Dean flinches, his finger leaving his hole too fast and he winces. 

The spell broken. 

He’s lucky he’s having a bubble bath, Castiel can’t see what he’s doing underneath.

The lavender aromas must also be suppressing the scent of arousal, because Castiel doesn’t look weirded out whatsoever when he turns the lights on. 

“My apologies. It’s been hours, I thought you would have been done.” He leans over and puts the trey of food next to Dean on the ground. 

He crouches until he’s closer to Deans eye level.

“It’s just a simple meal, but I homemade it.” Castiel says proudly. “I hope this and the bath will make you feel better. 

Dean takes the food in, it smells and looks delicious. “Thank you Cas, but I’m sure I need a whole lot more fixing before I feel better.” 

He’s still flustered and suddenly feels dirty for even looking at Castiel after almost cuming with those sky blue eyes on his mind.

Castiel nods apologetically. “I know. I’m just trying to make the best of it. From what Crowley told me, the chemical divorce won’t be fun. This might be your last comfortable night in a while.” 

Dean had been low key dreading the chemical divorce, but tomorrow is the big day. 

Tomorrow he will be admitted to Crowleys illegal clinic and start the chemical divorce process. Which could last days or even weeks.

“So, you came to bring me my last supper?” Dean jokes. But it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

Castiel doesn’t look amused either. “Just, Dean... make yourself comfortable. Stay as long in the tub as you need to. I’ll get the guest room ready for you.” 

“You’re the best Castiel.” Dean swears. “You really are.”

Castiel gets up to give Dean some space again. “Don’t worry about it.” He dismisses the compliment as if he hadn’t heard it.

But before he leaves the room completely, he turns to scan Dean down. 

“Dean, don’t overheat the bathtub, you are a little red.” 

Dean wants to die in a heap of his own shame. 

 

\- Monday Morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 10:43 AM.

 

Crowley, very wisely, has his clinic disguised as a laundromat. 

With the amount of Omegas staying at his clinic, he has enough laundry to make the place look busy most of the time.

Dean is fidgeting by Castiels side, while an employee shows them into the back where the lobby of the clinic actually begins.

It’s much larger than it looked like from the outside. An endless white hallway, with countless of doors lining it as if they’re in a psychiatric facility.

Dean’s reaching out, until he finds Castiels hand and intertwines their fingers. Both their palms are sweaty.

It looks like a real hospital. Dean observes while looking around. 

The two significant differences are the smell, which is more herbal than overly sanitary. And the weird symbols on the walls usually blank white walls.

What’s also odd is that, there are no patients walking around the hallway either. Only employees dressed in purple are moving from door to door. 

Dean is about to throw up because of his nerves, when a short man dressed in all black comes into view.

He’s smirking at Castiel and Dean, clasping his hands together like some kind of villain when he reaches them.

“Hello Dean, welcome to Hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading, longest chapter yet. Amazing right? Would you pretty please tell me what you think in the comments. The comments on the last chapter made me feel amazing. I was so inspired by it. Ask me what you want, tell me what you think, I also love it when people guess where the story is going! Give me allllll of it. It gived me life.


	6. Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has to decide what’s best for him and his body. He is forced to open up about his past, but things never run smoothly in his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loooongest chapter yet 6.5K that’s for the long wait, I’m sorry

\- Monday Morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 11:03 AM.

Dean's going to puke. 

And he knows Crowley won't appreciate the vomit on his expensive clothes. 

Dean just doesn't like it when strangers are crowding him, touching him. Crowley has been examining him from head to toe. A nurse is taking notes. 

Castiel is standing right next to him, looming over Dean. He looks as nervous as Dean feels.

"Would you relax, Dean?" Crowley rolls his eyes exasperated. 

He massages the muscles of Deans lower arm in a vain attempt to loosen him up. "The needle will sting more if you stay tense like that."

Dean squirms uneasily in the examination chair, eying Crowleys tools suspiciously. 

"I just- why do you need my blood?" Dean grumbles, eyes fixed on his dangling bare feet. 

Dean had done anything asked of him. Which included peeing in a goddamn cup, because he didn't want to complain, knowing Castiel is paying a lot of money to have him treated. 

An entire suitcase of bills, actually. 

But Dean also really doesn't like needles.

"I need to know what's in your body in order to get all the Alpha out of it." Crowley explains, looking incredibly impatient. 

His eyes shift to Castiel. "Cassie, why don't you hold his hand?" Crowley suggests with a false smile. "So we can roll along." 

Castiel immediately grabs Deans clammy hand, as if he'd been yearning to touch him for a long time. 

"Squeeze if you need to." He tells Dean with an overly serious facial expression. 

Dean gulps. Closes his eyes. "I'm ready." 

The needle is sharp and thin, but it takes a few moments before Crowley pulls it back out again. 

"Don't move or I'll stab you." Crowley jokes, but Castiel growls at him warningly. 

Dean squeezes Castiels hand as hard as he can in order to keep himself from shaking. "I don't like this." 

Crowley chuckles, already pulling the needle out and examining the tube filled with fresh blood. 

"This was the easiest part, I'm afraid." He hands it over to one of the nurses who stores it away. "Thanks, Love." 

Crowley turns back to Dean. "Now. Time for a gynecological exam. You're an Omega, pregnant at that. Everything down there is supposed to work." 

The nurse walks over and ads stirrups to the examination chair. Crowley puts on a pair of disposable gloves.

"Giddy up, Dean." He jokes, ignoring the murderous look Castiel sends his way, when he rolls his chair between the Omegas legs. 

Dean grimaces uncomfortably. "Okay..." 

He puts his feet in the stirrups and can't look at Crowley from over his belly. He stares up at the white ceiling and blinks.

He feel cold and exposed, wearing only the hospital scrubs a nurse had given him.

"Now Alpha," Crowley looks at Castiel with a raised eyebrow. "It's time to leave." 

"No." Dean and Castiel say in sync. Dean squeezes Castiels hand tightly, silently begging him not to go. 

Crowley tuts at them. "In this place we have rules. Rule number one, don't tell anyone about this place. Two, no cell phones or any substances like food, or any liquids allowed." 

He straightens his coat and takes the metal tools the nurse hands him. "Third rule. Alphas leaves when I tell them to. I need Dean to answer all these questions honestly. If you lie to me about yourself it could jeopardize your chemical divorce." 

He rises form his chair enough to make eye contact with Dean. "Will you answer deeply embarrassing personal questions, in front of an Alpha you're clearly trying to impress?" 

Dean flushes a deep red. He knows that Castiel cannot know everything about his medical past if Dean ever wants to look him in the eye again. 

He looks at Crowley and sees a serious warning in his eyes. He's done this thousands of times. He knows how other Omegas reacted to the examination.

"Dean." Castiel grabs his attention. "I won't judge you for your past, but." He sighs, face morphing into a nervous smile. "You look uncomfortable. I'll wait just outside the door." 

Dean bites his lip, feeling guilty for sending Castiel away. "Sorry Cas. Just for a few moments, okay?" 

"Tick tock, tick tock." Crowley looks at his watch. "I have four other Omegas waiting." 

Castiel quickly leans over and kisses Deans forehead. 

"Call me back in when you're done." He tells Crowley seriously. "I'm just outside."

Crowley waves him off. "We know!" 

When the door clicks closed, and the nurse leaves them alone, Dean breathes out a sigh of relief.

Crowley must have noticed, but he doesn't comment on it. He ducks back down and starts examining Dean. 

"Now that we're alone try to relax. I've heard every dirty story out there, so don't hold back on anything I need to know." Crowley orders him, talking to his reproductive organs rather than his face.

Dean huffs out a breath, unable to stop shaking. "Okay." 

Crowley groans loudly. "Jesus Christ! Relax. It's not easy examining your insides while you're tenser than a hooker in church." 

"Sorry, I guess." Dean frowns. "I don't have a great history with these type of clinics." 

"You have been unmated before?" Crowley asks to be cheeky. 

"No." Dean rolls his eyes. "No, Michael took me to these fertility treatments." He puts his hands on his belly when he feels the baby kick hard twice at the same spot.

"Ah. What did they do to you?" 

Dean shrugs. "The usual. Artificial insemination. Induced heats. Extended knotting. Medication." 

He hated all of it. It hurt and felt unnatural.

"Nothing as damaging for an Omega to get an induced heat. How long did they last?" 

Dean has to dig deep to remember. Things got blurry in his mind after he got sick. 

"Probably three weeks at times. Sometimes Michael couldn't take off work, so just two weeks." 

Crowley shakes his head in annoyance. "Awfully unhealthy. But they outlaw chemical divorces. That's because it serves Omegas rather than Alphas."

Dean shouldn't be shocked that Crowley genuinely cares about Omegas health care. He owns a successful chemical divorce clinic that could have him locked behind bars for the rest of his life. 

But still, Dean is sort of surprised at Crowleys genuine concern. 

"It's not safe?" Dean never knew his induced heats were unhealthy. They were tiresome, overstimulating and served him endless headaches. But unsafe... He hadn't even been warned by the doctor. 

"More dangerous than people think. Especially in those private clinics where they don't know how to do actual research on Omega health." Crowley informs him. "Your body ages badly with it. It's also bad for your natural lubricant, but that's beside the point."

"I didn't know that." Dean admits. "My Alpha forced me to have them for years."

"Your body must be worn out from that, but the chemical divorce should still be manageable. You seem sturdy." Crowley looks up at him, before introducing a new tool to Deans insides. 

"This will be cold." He says before something cold enters Dean.

Dean grimaces at the metal tools inside him. He feels exposed, but less like a puppet than when he was with Michael in the same position.

This is on his own terms.

"Is there anything else I need to know about your medical past?" Crowley asks after they're silent for a while.

"I-" Dean gulps. "Don't judge me." 

"Do I have a hammer and is my name Judy?" Crowley asks exasperated. "You're speaking to the guy practically scraping your inner walls." 

"Don't say it like that." Dean grimaces. "Ew man." 

Crowley ignores him and is pleased to notice that Dean has in fact warmed up to him, and loosened up. Which makes it much easier to check his inner canals.

"So, ehm." Dean starts again after a while. "I was hooked on drugs for a long while."

Crowley doesn't say it, but he suspects Castiel doesn't know this. "How long are we talking?"

"About six years. It's only been a few weeks since I quit." Dean admits with a shameful flush to his cheeks.

There it is. "You used drugs during your pregnancy." Crowley doesn't have to ask. Dean is at least four to five months along and said he'd just recently quit.

"Yeah..." 

"Well, what was it?" Crowley asks curiously, leaning back to retreat his tools. 

Dean shrugs. "I don't know what it was. It made me very tired. I forgot stuff easily. I had took it like non-stop." 

Crowley cringes. That doesn't sound good. "How is the baby?" 

"I don't know. I couldn't tell my Alpha about my pregnancy. I didn't see a doctor for it." Dean admits, feeling deeply ashamed.

Crowley immediately gets up and grabs the echo machine in the corner of the room. 

"You can remove your legs from the stirrups, lean back for me." He orders, while plugging the machine in. 

"The baby has been making itself known?" He asks, clearly concerned. 

Dean nods, his heart sinking. "They're kicking right now." The baby kicks his bladder mercilessly. "Someone is clearly alive inside."

Crowley is putting up the device and grabs the wand and gel. "You said that you're most likely four to five months pregnant, but do you really know for sure?" 

Dean shook his head. "No... I don't know for sure. I just noticed a couple months ago." 

He squirts the gel all over Deans bare belly, after opening the top of the scrubs.

"This is cold." Crowley warns way too late. 

Dean watches the monitor of the ultrasound machine come to life when Crowley puts the wand to his belly. Pressing rather hard. 

"This is your baby." He says unnecessarily. Moving the wand to show a different angle. "The excessive drug use could have kept the baby much smaller. You could be 8 months along for all I know." 

Deans eyes go wide in shock. His heart is beating too loud for his own ears. 

This should have been a beautiful moment, for him to see his baby for the first time. But he knows that if his tiny baby is born now, they probably won't make it.

"Do you know how much drugs you have taken?" Crowley asks him seriously. "If I know how much, I could determine how bad the situation is."

Dean shook his head, dreading every second of the ultrasound. He sits upright, his eyes filling with tears. 

That's his baby on the screen. Kicking and moving around in the small space. They have a whole face with a nose and little lips. Hands with tiny balled up fingers. 

"I have no idea how much it was." Dean panics. "Or how often. Not even sure what it was. Everything was a blur." 

Crowley does his best not to sound frustrated. "That's not much information for me to understand how your baby is developing."

Dean is full out crying now. Moving around too much for Crowley to keep the wand pressed to his belly. The baby disappears from the monitor. "Oh my God. This is really bad." 

"This is- interesting." Crowley is thinking. Not sure what to do with so little useful information. 

"I will listen to its heartbeat." He decides and grabs the stethoscope on his desk. "We'll go from there."

Dean isn't really keeping it together anymore. And Crowley isn't really good in comforting, he's a doctor not a psychiatrist. He only cures physical issues. 

"Should I call Castiel back in?" Crowley had noticed that Castiel has grown much more affectionate since the last time Crowley saw him. He would know how to clam Dean down. 

Dean is shaking his head viscously. "He can't know this. He'll know I'm fucked up." 

Crowley groans. "Than will you calm the hell down so I can listen to your baby's heartbeat?" 

He places the stethoscope on his ears and Deans belly.

"Lean back." 

Dean takes deep breaths, tears still rolling down his eyes while he lays back down against the seat. He has to force himself to take his hands off his belly and allow Crowley to move around. 

Crowley shifts the metal head over Deans soft belly, until he hears the faint heart beat. 

"Quiet down." He murmurs to Dean, who's breathing hard, trying to control himself.

Crowley presses harder and finally finds the steady fast heart beat that belongs to the baby. 

"Keep still." He warns, while Dean is trying to look over his belly to what Crowley is exactly doing. 

Crowley keeps shifting and closes his eyes until he can only concentrate on the quick beating sound.

It's surprisingly steady.

He hadn't expected it to be as stable and ordinary, considering Dean has ironically taken enough drugs for him to forget how much drugs he was consuming. 

Instead of telling Dean anything, he takes the stethoscope off and puts it on Deans ears. 

Dean, who's so incredibly afraid for his baby's life since the day he found out he was having a baby, feels warm and giddy when he hears the steady, quick and strong heartbeat for the first time. 

He stares at his sticky belly in wide eyes shock. 

Then he looks at Crowley standing next to him. "What does this mean?" 

Crowley shrugs. "I think it means that for now the baby seemed healthy on the ultrasound and the heartbeat is steady. Your internal examination is positive. You're a strong, muscular Omega despite your drug past." 

He grabs a tissue for Deans belly and one for his face, wet with tears and red with emotions. 

"You look healthy enough to survive the chemical divorce. The blood test will reveal more. But with your strong build, I think you could withstand the process, even though you've already pushed your body to certain limits with the induced heat, extended knotting and drugs." Crowley informs him and watches Dean think while composing himself. 

"And my baby?" 

Crowley can't give him any promises. "The rituals will put your body to the test. It takes a toll on your body and your baby lives off of your body." 

He pats Deans knee in as much comfort as he can willingly give. "The chances of a miscarriage are high. Very high. But not higher than miscarriages caused by drug abuse." 

Dean doesn't seem comfortable being touched by him without a medical purpose, so Crowley takes his hand back. 

"It's your choice Dean. Your stay is being payed for, I deem you strong enough to survive, but there are no guarantees your baby will make it. With or without the chemical divorce. This is a high risk pregnancy."

Dean hands him the tissue wet with his tears. He's shaking and probably unable to stand. 

"So, will I admit you today. Or are you going home to think about it some more?" 

 

\- Monday Afternoon. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 1:03 PM.

 

The room Crowley had Dean sleeping in, is small.

The walls are a soothing green. The walls are bare besides Crowleys long set of rules, neatly framed by the door. The floor is white tile. There is a double bed, toilet, sink, sofa and CD player all in one room. The only door is the one leading outside into the hallway. 

Crowley doesn't allow his patients or guests to take anything inside. After the exam both Dean and Castiel had to give up their clothes, keys and jewelry. 

Dean didn't own much anyway. They'd dumped the car before coming to Crowleys clinic. Castiel could easily part with his belongings, because he could easily afford new things.

They enter the single room and look around. There isn't much to see.

Dean had come back with red rimmed eyes, wet cheeks and completely hunched over in sadness after his examination. Hugging Castiel tightly when they reunited.

He hadn't said a word. Didn't answer any question Castiel pressed, besides that he wants to stay. He needs to divorce Michael.

Castiel looks at the double bed. "I will tell someone to find Crowley and put another bed in here."

Dean is leaning against him still. Frowning at his words. "We-" 

He clears his throat. "I don't mind sharing. For tonight at least." He looks up at Castiel and straightens himself a bit. 

"I could use you close to me." His face flushes red with shame and guilt. His hands hadn't left the baby bump since Crowley told the devastating news of his high risk pregnancy. "If that's what you want."

His baby might be born at any moment now. And it wouldn't survive. Too small and fragile for the outside world.

Castiel wraps his arms around Dean. Leaning their foreheads together. "You shouldn't suffer alone. You can tell me anything."

Dean didn't like it, but Crowley had been right about Dean trying to instinctively impress Castiel enough to perhaps court him in the upcoming future. If he can successfully divorce Michael.

He didn't want Castiel to know how much of an idiot he is for not thinking about the consequences of drugs and pregnancy a bit more.

"But... I won't force you to say anything."

Dean nods appreciatively. Castiel is doing everything within his power to give Dean space and privacy, even though it goes against his deepest instincts. 

"I will tell you Cas. Just not now." He glances at the freshly made bed. "I'm really tired."

Castiel nods back at him, slowly pulling Dean away to stare at him. His eyes are sad for the Omega.

"I am too. Let's take a nap." 

 

\- Monday Afternoon. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 04:52 PM.

 

Dean wakes up feeling warm. 

There is a body behind him. Spooning him with a big hand resting on his extending belly. 

He hasn't slept with someone in a bed since he first started living with Michael. After a while, they drifted apart and went on sleeping separated. Michaels room was just across Deans. Close, but a cold distance.

Dean doesn't have to open his eyes to remember it's Castiel holding him now. 

Dean can smell the pure Alpha aroma over the scentless clothes and bedding. He scoots impossibly closer to the warm body behind him. 

It's a nice way to wake up, even though his face feels dry from his salty tears and he has a headache from sobbing.

"Dean Winchester?" There is another sharp knock on the door. The first knock had done the job of waking Dean.

By the third knock, he's only sitting upright in his bed when the door is slung open. 

A small dark haired woman in a purple uniform comes inside. She looks around concerned, but her eyes quickly lock on Dean.

"Winchester?" She asks, and her voice is calm and soothing in a strange way. 

Dean gulps, nodding at her. He can't believe Castiel is still asleep when he slips out of his grip towards the nurse. "Yeah. That's me." 

He reaches her and they shake hands, even though he feels nervous speaking to a new person. A stranger. 

"I'm Meg, I'll be looking after you during your stay." She reaches under her arm and has his record. She takes a moment to read through the papers. 

"Omega, 25." She glances down at his belly. "Pregnant." 

Dean nods, a little too shy to speak up. 

"I have some good news, blood results came back clear. You're healthy and clean." Her smile seems suspiciously sly. "You're in the program officially. I've got your schedule here-" 

He takes the colored chard and scans it down quickly.

Meg continues. "I'll be bringing you from and to appointments. Look after you when things get tough." 

"Cas can look after me." Dean blurts out before the nerves stop him. 

Meg is smirking at him when he finally looks up at her from his socked feet. 

"Cas is the bulk under the duvet?" She looks over Deans shoulder where Castiel is still completely out of it. "It's not often that the Alpha comes along."

"He's not my Alpha." Dean overshares again, cheeks turning bright red. He hates himself. 

Meg doesn't seem phased at all. "Interesting." 

She writes something down on her chard and hands it to Dean.

"If he's staying he'll need to fill out that form. You're on a diet, big bad Alpha can eat what the nurses are having." She reaches into her back pocket and gives Dean a red bottle. 

"This Dean, will safe your pretty hair." 

Dean opens it and smells the strong earthly herbs. The liquid inside is as bright red as the outside. 

"The Chemical divorce is a complete body cleanse. This shampoo will keep your hair on your head. Everything else will fade and fall out. You can also see the divorce as an overly expensive acne remedy." Meg jokes. "Anyway, smear it on twice a day to top of your head, brows and lashes. And if you're attached to any pubic hair." 

Dean shook his head immediately. "No. God no." He holds the papers and bottle in his hands. Staring at the nurse.

It hits him then she's an Omega herself. Holding herself so strong and confident that he hadn't even noticed. 

He feels an intense amount of respect for the woman.

"Uhm. What's next?" He couldn't really figure the schedule out yet. Meg mentioned a diet, shampoo, but nothing else.

She's stopped smiling and points at the sofa for them to sit down while they speak. "Okay wobbly legs, lets tale a seat. Safe some energy. You'll need it later." 

Dean moves fast enough for her to not reach him in time to touch him. He sits at the far end, away from her. 

Meg doesn't look offended whatsoever. She'd seen a lot during her time with Crowley. Truly damaged people come through the doors of the clinic each and every day. "So, Dean,"

He glances up at her. Tense and unsure. "Yeah?" 

"You're scheduled for a small surgery tonight. You paid for an expensive treatment, so Crowley himself will be performing it." She sees the moment Dean freaks out on the inside. 

"You won't notice a thing. We'll have you sedated." Meg promises immediately. "It's even safe for your baby." 

Dean hadn't even thought of that. Selfishly thinking about his own fear of sharp needles and not about the consequences for his child. He places a firm hand on his stomach and tries to forgive himself for his obvious lack of knowledge about a safe healthy pregnancy.

"What's the surgery for?" He asks instead.

Meg points at his chard. "Everything blue is a procedure of some sort by Crowley. And on the other side the description and how much of his secret cure Crowley is willing to talk about."

Dean looks at where Meg had said the procedures description stood. 

'Mating Mark DNA removal surgery. Small cut in mating mark. Drain/scrape away Alphas DNA remains. Drain some blood. Stitch closed.' 

"Why does he have to drain my blood?" Dean asks annoyed. He'd already given blood today.

Meg shrugs. "This cure is very, very old. Crowley has been crafting and experimenting the traditional unmating cures to make the divorce this successful. With a low 56% of success in hospitals. His cure works on a good 87% of his patients in his own clinic. The cure is constantly changing and getting better. Some of Crowleys tactics are odd, but they work better than anyone else’s. He won't reveal the recipe. Many people would love to get their hands on it." 

That makes sense to Dean. Crowley seems to be a fine businessman and wouldn't share his priced cure with each and every one of his employees. 

"Anyway, I'll be bringing you meals, fresh clothes, make sure you shower and use the toilet. If you have any questions, just ask me." She gives him a smile, it's small but genuine enough for Dean to accept it.

She gets up after they stay quiet for a while. Chard under her shoulder and short hair shrugged away from her face. "That'll be all for now? I'll be back in about half an hour. Wake your Alpha up beforehand, please. I think you'd like to have him there when  Crowley performs the small procedure."

Dean nods, standing up in politeness when she is about to leave him to it.

"Oh, Meg?" 

She turns in the doorway and smiles at him. "Yes, Dean?" 

Dean bites his lip, he takes a few steps towards her until they're in each others personal space. He whispers, "Will my Alpha be in pain when the unmating is done?" 

She seems to catch up that Dean doesn't want Castiel to hear him speak. To hear him worry for Michael, even though he shouldn't. 

9 years together is too long not to give a single fuck.

"Most experience some sharp pains in their chest. Sappy people would say it's heartbreak, but I think it's physical detachment of the Omegas DNA. Some Alphas experience full body seizures, nothing too harmful if the timing isn't bad." Meg is honest, Dean really likes that about her. 

"But some Alphas are over 60 years old, and experience heart attacks when the unmating comes very sudden. Unexpected." She cringes. "I hope you aren't mated to an old fruit?" 

Dean isn't sure whether Michael classifies as old or not. "Is forty one old?" 

"Considering you are twenty five, yes. He practically has one leg into his coffin already. But the chances of him dying of a heart attack because of your chemical divorce are incredibly small." Meg promises with another genuine smile after Dean breathes out in relief. 

Then, her expression changed sharply. "Dean. Now no more worrying about that man. It's your life now and your baby's." She gives him a stern look. "You're here to unmate. That's physical and mentally. I advise you to let go."

Dean looks at her wide eyed. Hadn't expected her to scold him like that. 

Her stern look morphs back into a smile again. Suddenly she's also done whispering. "Now, no leaving this room without someone in purple, like me. Or Crowely. If you require immediate attention, press the purple button next to your bed. Change into scrubs before I come back, will you?"

He nods. "Yeah, uhm sure."

"Good, see you in a bit." Meg nods back at him, turns around and leaves.

Dean looks dumbfounded at the closed green door. He feels very trapped all of a sudden. He hadn't known he wasn't allowed to actually leave when he signed the contract with Crowley. 

He'd only sloppily read through the terms and conditions. Agreed to Crowleys rules and what not, so he could go to his room fast and get some much needed sleep. 

Now he felt like a caged animal, stupid because he had agreed to this, 

He puts the bottle and sheets of paper on the sofa, before striding over to his and Castiels temporary bed. 

Castiel, who's still fully asleep under the covers. Positioned on his belly, facing Dean with a gently opened mouth, but no frown on his usually stressed serious face.

He looks very young while he is asleep. And without his neat expensive clothes, but in Crowleys provided sweatpants and t-shirt he almost looks like someone Dean would deserve to fall in love with. 

Castiels face was getting scruffy for the lack of shaving in the past few days. They'd been on the road and so stressed that Castiel got a maximum of five hours of sleep every night. He has permanent black bags under his eyes.

Dean leans down and sits on the edge of the bed beside Castiel. 

He really needed the sleep, even though it was only a short nap Castiel looks more relaxed than before. Probably because in his dreams he doesn't have to worry about Dean d their status with the police.

"Cas." Dean puts his cold hand on Castiels warm scruffy cheek. He strokes it gently, trying not to startle Castiel.

"Alpha, it's time to wake up." Dean adds in a louder voice. 

He doesn't want to feel alone right now. He needs Castiel to tell him they're together and that he'll be fine during the procedure. 

It takes a moment for Castiel to care enough to wake up from his sweet dreams. He is far away, deep inside his own mind. Floating in the fantasy of his deepest desires. Too happy to wake up from Deans gentle touches. 

The sun is shining down on them. He feels warm, but not sweaty. He has Dean wrapped in his arms pressed close to him.

There is a brunette child with deep green eyes playing in grass before them, giggling and running around carelessly. 

With Dean distracted, Castiel moves his hands down, until he places them on Deans incredibly big belly. Bigger than Dean has ever been before.

Castiel is smiling. He feels light and happy. Dean does the same back, grinning up at him, looking joyful and younger than Castiel has ever seen him before. 

"Cas, wake up." 

Castiels eyes flutter open, Deans soft voice is suddenly much more clear and louder than in his dreams.

They're close, Deans upper half is on top of Castiel, staring at him with those sapphire green eyes. 

Castiel can't sit up with the weight on his chest. He's too far away still in his own mind to even try. "Dean?" He clears his throat and rubs his eyes to get the sleep out of them.

"There he is." Dean says with a tentative careful smile. He stops stroking Castiels cheek and simply rests it there. 

"Turns out I have a nurse now, Meg is her name." He tells Castiel, playing with the short strands of his brown hair to distract his nerves. "I also have a small surgery in about twenty minutes."

Castiel blink up at him, still slightly dazed. "Huh... What for?" 

Dean bites his bottom lip. "Cutting open the mating mark, in some way removing Michaels DNA there. Also draining some blood." He's freaking out, but he doesn't really want to admit it. 

He knows that what he has to do to, is finally proof that he can be a good parent to his unborn baby. He needs to divorce Michael. And if it'll cost the very last drop of blood he can miss, so be it.

Castiel lays a comforting hand on Deans knee. Content on staying in their current positions. "Will it hurt?"

Dean shook his head. "They'll have sedatives for me, you're allowed to come along, if you want that. Of course..." 

"Obviously, I want to be there for you." Castiel shifts until his neck isn't flat on the bed anymore. 

"How are you doing?"

Dean doesn't feel necessarily better. "The same I suppose. I still fucked everything up. It's all out of my control now though, except this. I can still give my baby the freedom from an abusive parent."

He shrugs and adds, "And all they would have to deal with is a dumb parent." 

Castiel shook his head. "Dean, stop that. You're not dumb." He takes the hand Dean is resting in his cheek and kisses it. "You're so incredible. How could you be so blind?"

"A high school dropout, with no ambitions whatsoever in life. Unable to keep any relationship going for an extended amount of time. Ruining my baby's life before they're even born." Dean reminds him sharply, luckily there are no tears left to cry else he wouldn't have been able to keep them in now. 

"That's simply not true-" Castiel interjects, but Dean interrupts him before he finishes his sentence.

"My baby might die. Probably will die." 

Dean hurries to gets up from the bed and steps away. He covers his face with his hands, unable to hide the shame any longer. 

He would have to tell Castiel some time anyway. There is no excuses Castiel can make for him about being this irresponsible.

His voice is muffled by his hands when he speaks again. "I took drugs. I was pregnant and I took drugs and never thought I would ever be pregnant, but when I found out I didn't even think it would be a problem."

Dean hates himself more than anything or anyone in the world. He should have noticed he was pregnant. Should have told a doctor immediately. 

He shouldn't have let it continue with Michael for so long. He should have been more intelligent.

"You had an addiction?" Castiel asks, suddenly wide awake and standing next to Dean. Just a few inches away from touching him. But knowing better than to startle him.

Dean hadn't thought of it as an addiction before, but he suppose it probably was. Taking the drugs for years, continuously feeling it's effects. 

"Yes." He croaks out finally, unable to show his face yet, but leaning into Castiels warmth nonetheless. "Yes I was addicted, I screwed up."

Castiel wraps his arms around Dean, doesn't deny his words again, because he doesn't have anything to say that would make Deans past disappear.

He stays completely still now, because for once Castiel believed the negative words Dean associated himself with. 

The silence is what Dean believes he deserves, but in a way it still hurts. 

 

\- Monday Afternoon. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 05:31 PM.

 

"Ah Dean, and Cassie." Crowley smirks at them when he comes into the operating room. He is wearing black scrubs and gloves. 

Dean didn't know they made black scrubs like that. He wonders how much it costs to get them costume made and whether it was worth the cost..

"Feeling a little better?" Crowley asks Dean, while two other people are getting the room ready for the procedure. Checking the tools, lights and machines. 

Dean shrugs in response, he takes all his comfort from Castiel holding his hand gently. Castiel is still touching him even though his voice seems to have left his body. He hadn’t spoken a word to Dean after he admitted his addiction. 

"I just need this to be over." Dean whispers tiredly, leaning back against the bed. 

Crowley smiles pitifully at him. "I'll be as quick as safely possible." He promises, without commenting on the tension in the room created by the couple. 

"I promise you it’s worth it, Dean. It is as if we reverse every sin you ever committed. We completely cleanse you. You are practically a virgin if you leaves these doors alive." He winks at them, joking about the last part. 

Dean gulps. "Okay..." 

Crowley sighs, faking sadness about his humor being misunderstood and dismissed. “This is the start of something new, Dean. Just bear through it.” Then he turns around to get updated by the purple nurse behind him,holding a stack of papers. 

Castiel squeezes Deans hand when another nurse comes over and helps Dean lay down on his side comfortably. She exposes his mating mark on the back of his neck. It's a scar in the form of a set of teeth tearing his skin. She traces over it and asks him if that's the only one. Then she draws over it with a black marker so Crowley could find it easily. 

Dean squeezes his eyes closed and tries not to remember every time Michael would tear it open again whenever he felt like it while he knotted Dean. It hurts to be bitten until you're bleeding. 

But Michael had read somewhere that reclaiming over and over again would stimulate fertility. 

Dean wonders if it really had helped with getting him pregnant.

"Mr. Winchester, are you ready to get now?" A male nurse asks, standing next to Castiel with what seemed like an oxygen tank and a mask. 

Dean looks up at the man in surprise. "No needles?" A hopeful glint in his green eyes. 

Castiel and the man both have a small smile on their face, "Not this time Mr. Winchester." 

Castiel steps back from the bed to stay out of the mans way. 

T nurse puts the mask over Deans face. He tells Dean to count down from a hundred to zero out loud. 

He turns the machine on and steps back so Castiel can reclaim his place beside Dean again. The pair stares at each other while the machine pumps sedating air into Deans lungs. 

"99, 98, 97-" Dean says out loud, trying to sound loud and clear even though the mask was covering half of his face. 

Castiel massages his hand gently, his eyes are still haunted by Deans confession. But his blue orbs also scream love and care. Begging Dean to keep it together long enough to successfully live through the chemical divorce.

"96, 95, 94, 95, I uhm mean, 94, 93-" 

Crowley walks by and has a mask over his mouth and nose, some metal tool in his hands while he crosses the room. "We can start the procedure in a minute. Everyone ready?" 

Some people in scrubs murmur a positive response, others leave the room so they can begin.

Dean tries to tune them all out and continues to focus on Castiel. Blinking up lazily at him. His frowning forehead is worried and stressed again, the complete opposite of his sleeping self only minutes ago. 

He's too sweet and good for Dean, the omega is well aware. He shouldn't drag Castiel all the way down with him, but at the same time he can't get himself to let go of him. 

Dean tries to squeeze Castiels hand back, but his grip is becoming weak. 

"78, 77, 76... 75-" He notices he's whispering instead of speaking out loud. Unable to generate enough energy for his voice. 

When his grip on Castiel turns weak, the Alpha provides enough strength for the both of them, holding onto Dean for them both. 

"Seventy three, seventy uh... Seventy five, seven... some..." 

Everything around him fades to the darkness and he is having a hard time forming thoughts or words. 

Castiel is the last thing he sees before he's unable to lift his eyelids. 

"Save'm tean... Seffy tween." Dean mumbles under his breath, unable to coherently count anymore. 

The last thing he feels is a warm hand resting on his forehead. A soft puff of air in his ear, before the last words he registers are, "I'll be here, waiting for you."

Then everything turns peaceful and quiet completely.

 

\- Monday Evening. Wonder Corps, Washington. 06:58 PM.

 

It has been a stressful day. Three news stations came in for personal interviews. Four magazines wanted to do a column about him and his mate. He had two meetings with his staff on how the company was going to innovate and Sam Winchester was on the news talking about his own theory of Deans disappearance. 

And for the first time, Sam mentioned Michaels first disappeared spouse, Bella Talbot. Who was never found again after filing for an abuse case and a divorce.

Michaels lawyers immediately needed to talk to him. Worrying about what this will mean for his social reputation. Wonder Corps couldn't afford to lose investors and sponsors. 

The meeting was rushed, but a room filled with angry, afraid Alphas never cease to cause chaos. 

Michael had expected to be home by seven PM, instead he was stuck in his office while his lawyers fought each other over what their best approach will be. Something had to be done against Sam Winchester and his allegations against Michael. 

Michael casually reads over his notes, chin resting on his hand and eyes down to the meetings table, when he feels a horrible crushing sensation coming from deep inside his chest.

He's not sure what happens in the next few seconds, but he is not in his chair anymore.   
He is laid out on the carpeted floor. Body shaking and spasming uncontrollably.

Someone yells that his neck is bleeding. 

911 is called, everyone watching as his shaking body is put in an ambulance.

A doctor tells him his mating mark is being undone. 

He realizes through the ripping pain that Dean is messing with their mating bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, so last chapter significantly less comments. I really really genuine love getting comments, it makes my day and so motivated to write, I read and reply to them all. Please please leave a comment, let me kmow that you’re still reading along, whether you liked it or where you think it’s going.  
> Please let me knowww I love you for reading this and supporting me like that. You guys are the best.   
> Ps this is Meg from like season 7 because her voice is so beautiful. Soothing and sweet. Fucking love her voice it’s crazy


	7. Part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes to realize that the chemical divorce isn’t easy. Letting go of a person you loved and care for over 9 years isn’t something to be taken lightly. Sam learns that Michael doesn’t like his reputation getting compromised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah longest chapter yet. You are w e l c o m e. Enjoy........

Dean didn't know that his old little hometown had nice neighborhoods. 

But like always Michael had exceeded his expectations and managed to find the most beautiful, white-picket fence, suburban house Dean has ever laid eyes upon. 

Before he even has the chance to close the heavy wooden door behind himself, Michael presses him against it. 

Soft pink lips push gently against Deans, asking for an invitation. Dean obediently opens his mouth, before Michael is licking into his mouth hungrily. 

Dean closes his eyes and wraps his arms around Michaels neck. 

He's grateful that their first moment alone in their new house is going to be a pleasurable memory.

Michael pulls him impossibly closer, grinding his hardness against Dean. Eager to knot his Omega. 

"I bought this place for you." Michael whispers into his ear when he pulls back for a moment to breathe. "So you can nest in peace." 

Dean grins up at him. "Thank you, Mike. For everything." He is so grateful for his happy always eager to protect, Alpha. 

Dean stands on his tip toes to capture his Alphas lips again. Showing his appreciation and love in the gesture. 

Michael lets him touch and devour him, holding onto Dean tightly. While he slowly pulls Dean further into the house, towards the spacious kitchen. 

Dean nibbles at Michaels neck, where he had marked his Alpha so long ago. Taking in each and every soft noise coming from his Alphas lips.

Michael is completely hard, grinding eagerly against Deans thigh. "You're such a good Omega. Aren't you Dean?" 

Dean hums against his skin. Eyes closed in pleasure and concentration. 

Michael suddenly grabs Dean under his ass and perches him onto the dusty kitchen counter. Dean yelps, caught of guard by the sudden movement. 

When he opens his eyes, he and his tall Alpha are on the same eye level. 

Michael doesn't allow him to form a another thought, before nibbling at his swollen bottom lip. Dragging the flesh between his teeth gently.

Dean wraps his legs around his Alphas waist. Scooting closer to the edge until they can grind together once more.

"You're glowing." Michael says breathlessly after releasing Deans skin tauntingly slow.

The Alpha cradles his perfectly sculpted face between his large hands. Forcing his bright green eyes to peer up at him. Allowing Dean to only focus on him. 

"Glowing with pregnancy." Michael adds with an eager smile.

Deans eyes shy down towards Michaels lips. In order to avoid his heated gaze. "It's only been a week since our wedding night. Can you tell that I'm carrying already?" 

Michael shrugs, crouching until he catches Deans eyes again. "I can only tell that you look good. You smell good." 

He takes a lungful of Deans scent. His eyes roll back into his head in pleasure. "Irresistible." 

Deans cheeks are flushed with the praise, but he leans forward to softly press his slick bruised lips against Michaels. 

"I love you." 

Even though Dean is quite sure that it is simply his approaching heat that Michael smells and senses. Not a pregnancy. 

"I love you too. You're beyond perfect." Michael returns the compliment earnestly. 

He kisses Dean more fiercely again, hungry for him. "I'll buy you some pregnancy tests tomorrow, on my way back from work."

"Okay Mike." Dean nods, even though he is sure Michael will be disappointed by the results. "Will you take me to bed now?" He asks sweetly in order to please Michael. 

Good sex would hopefully keep his mood lifted even though he finds Dean isn't with child. 

"There isn't a bed yet, but I have a mattress for now. If that will do for my most priced possession?" Michael asks him, his tone almost coming across as serious.

Dean pretends to think for a moment, his hands still on his Alphas sides. "Hmm... It will do for now, if you are there with me."

"Then I shall take you there, so we can break it in?" 

Dean inhales his Alphas arousal sharply. "Yes, please." 

Michael picks him up and carries him bridal style towards the master bedroom, cheekily stealing kisses as often as he can while navigating the way upstairs. 

 

\- Tuesday Morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 06:59 AM.

 

When Dean wakes up, he is hungry. 

He feels groggy, similar to how he used to be while living with Michael. 

Drugged up, tired and unable to gather enough energy to lift his head. 

His eyelids are heavy with sleep, but he manages to open them on his third attempt. 

Luckily the room is completely dark, someone has been mindful of Deans headache and disorientation. 

The next moment Dean is afraid that he's all alone. He wonders where Castiel is. If he's still angry with Dean. 

"Dean."

Castiel lays a warm hand on his forehead. So gentle and treating him like porcelain. "Are you okay?"

Deans throat is too dry to speak. He looks up at Castiel under half lidded eyes. 

He wants to tell him how relieved he is to see Castiel. He wants to say he is sorry, thirsty, afraid for his baby.

He coughs two times in an attempt to clear his airway so he can speak, but his throat is too dry to let out a squeak. 

Before he can signal his distress, Castiel has already taken care of him, nudging a straw between his lax lips.

Dean eagerly gulps down the water to fill his empty stomach. He feels hollowed out, the water cooling his throat and filling him up just enough to feel less on the edge of starvation.

He spits out the straw as soon as he can speak. 

"Cas... what time is't?" Dean whispers through gritted teeth, his neck is still throbbing at the back. Where a new scar is forming. 

Castiel glances at the clock on the wall. "It's 7 AM right now. You were out of surgery since last night. Everything went well. The baby is unharmed by it." 

Dean leans down and angles the straw back into his mouth, but when he sips nothing comes out.

"I'll ask Meg if you can have more." Castiel says before he tucks the blanket closer around Dean, he fluffs up his pillow and sits down on the side of the bed. 

"They're very strict about your diet. They tried to explain it, but it's hard to grasp." 

Castiel sighs and suddenly lays a cool ice pack on Dean neck. "This will be cold." 

"Oh.." Dean moans at the soothing sensation, his eyes flickering closed again. "Hmmm." 

Castiels smile is clear even in the dark room. "That feels nice, doesn't it?" 

He puts his spare hand on Deans soft cheek. Rubbing it in comfort. "Your meal plan is to completely detox your organs. Which I heard is a very bland combination of water and lemons. I could be mistaken though. 

Dean realizes that it's been almost 24 hours since his last meal. 

He feels dizzy with hunger. Unable to completely focus on anything, besides Castiels rumbling voice.

His vision is swimming, the dark room is endlessly spinning around. Perhaps it's the sedatives wearing off, but his stomach growls angrily and it's hard to believe that isn't harmful for his baby. 

Deans arms are tucked in too tightly for him to reach out to Castiel. Or to rub at his belly.

"How are you feeling?" Castiel asks once more after Dean reopens his eyes blearily. 

They hold each others intense gaze for a quiet moment. 

"You're talking to me again?" Dean whispers after clearing his throat. Unable to meet Castiels eyes again after his question. 

He knows he doesn't deserve Cas. But he had hoped it would have taken Castiel longer to realize this.

Castiel sighs once more. Moving down to a crouch until he is on the same eye-level as Dean. 

"I owe you an apology-"

Deans eyes widen. "What? Cas no." He tries to sit up to protest, but his body is still too heavy and his neck throbs at the movement. "Fuck." 

"Calm down, please." Castiel presses him back down to the bed and pushes the button next to the bed to call Meg. "You're still recovering."

Dean groans, wiggling one arm free to press the ice pack harder against his mating scar. 

"Fuck. Oh Jesus." He hisses out through the pain. 

Castiel moves Deans hand away from the pack and holds it in place for him. 

He doesn't try to search eye contact again. Allowing Dean to close his eyes and ride through the waves of pain. 

"I was saying," Castiel starts again with remorse in his voice. "That I owe you an apology for my odd reaction. I should have immediately shown respect for you opening up to me. I know that wasn't easy. None of this is easy on you." 

Dean bites his lip to keep quiet and peeks up at Castiel through his lashes. He wants him to finish, because he can sense they're having a moment.

"I am in no position to judge you, Dean. That wasn't right." Castiel looks incredibly apologetic. More sincere than Dean had ever seen anyone look or speak. "So I'm truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

Dean releases his lip from his teeth before he can draw blood. He feels moved by Castiels remorse, even though he doesn't really deserve it. 

Castiel seems to carry too much guilt and the only thing that would make him feel better is Deans acceptance.

"I forgive you." Dean says, even though the words are foreign on his lips.

It's not often that someone asks for his forgiveness. It's been a long time since someone genuinely cared about hurting his feelings. 

Castiel deflates like a balloon. "Thank you Dean. I will be better to you." He promises with a smile.

Then, there is a knock on the door. Followed by Megs prompting voice. "Everyone dressed in there?"

Dean snorts, even though tensing his body makes his neck throb again. "Yeah."

She probably doesn't hear his soft murmur, but she enters anyway. 

Like last time she's wearing her purple uniform, hair tied up, chard under her arm and a stack of clothes.

"Hello my boys." Her voice is soft and soothing when she reaches them. 

Meg lays her stuff on the bed next to Dean and leans forward to touch his forehead. "How are you feeling? No fever so that's good." 

Dean grimaces at her cold hand. "Just dull aching in my neck."

Meg sits down next to Castiel and nods, writing it down in her notes. "Good you have the icepack Dean. Baby is fine, heartbeat was strong just a couple of hours ago." 

Then she smiles at Castiel. "Clarence you barely got any sleep, are you faring well?" 

Dean snorts again. "That's not his name." Unable to keep himself from smiling at Castiels annoyed facial expression.

"She knows that. She refuses to call me Castiel. The name my parents gave me." Castiel narrows his eyes at her. "She like teasing."

Meg shrugs innocently. "I don't know what he is talking about." 

Then she goes through her stack of papers and finds Deans schedule. 

"I love to joke around, but I also have a job to do, boys." Meg says after handing Castiel a copy of the schedule. "Dean has a class scheduled for lung and brain purification." 

Dean doesn't even want to know what that is. "No more needles. Please." He begs her through a pout and puppy eyes.

She smiles viciously. "Oh no Honey, group therapy session. Much more torturous. But if you want this to work, go along with it. It's necessary for the divorce- or so the big boss Crowley makes us believe."

"Okay..." Dean says skeptically, not sure what to expect from a class about lung purification.

Castiel reaches over to smooth away his frown with the hand that isn't holding the ice pack in place. "If it's not needles, how bad can it be?"

"Not too bad I suppose." Dean shrugs as much as he can.

Megs smile falters slightly, changing the subject. "I also come with bad news..."

"What is it?" Dean can't sit upright dramatically fast because of his neck, but if he could, this would have been the perfect moment for it. "You said my baby was okay."

Meg glances at Castiel. 

Last time Dean had been secretive about the affects the chemical divorce has on the Alpha. He'd whispered so Castiel hadn't heard him ask Meg. 

But now Dean is squeezing Castiels hand in search of comfort. 

Meg decides to speak with both of them in the room. 

"Your name is Dean Smith, isn't it? You're divorcing Michael Smith from Wonder Corps."

Dean nods hastily. "Yes. That's- what's happening?" 

"The woman on the news said that he was rushed to the hospital. Around the time of your operation. The mark procedure must have effected him in some way, probably because of his age and how long you two were mated." Meg explains. "Nine years of mating isn't nothing.

"Michael- did he die? Is he dead?!" Dean does manage to sit upright now, untangling himself from Castiel and working through the pain of his neck.

"How did I not feel him die?!" He almost yells in confusion. Pulling his hand away from Castiel harshly when he tries to calm Dean. "How is that possible. 

He killed a man. He killed the father of his child. 

There is no way he won't rot in jail for killing one of Americas most important businessmen. 

He panics. He feels horribly sick at the thought of Michael dying.

And by Castiels expression, he can see that Dean shouldn't be feeling that way.

But he can't help his reaction. He can't stop shaking. His heart is beating its way out of his chest. 

He's a murderer. 

"I don't know." Meg says, but her tone is firm. "Relax. He is not dead, not pronounced dead anyway. You probably would have felt that though the mark. Even though his DNA is scrapped out of it." 

Her hands are suddenly on his shoulders, keeping him steady. She looks him straight in the eye.

"And who the fuck cares, Dean?" She asks him. Not blinking once while they stare into each others eyes. 

"Who the fuck cares what the fuck happens to him. I see the way he talks about you on the news. I see the way you don't dare to talk with strangers." She shakes her head. Disappointed. "I saw all those scars on your back Dean. Are you really that sad for that man? 

Castiel puts a hand to Megs shoulder when he sees tears welling up in Deans eyes. 

"That's enough." 

Meg lets go almost immediately. Her grip hadn't been painful or harming Dean in any way. Quite the opposite, it steadied him and made him feel grounded on the bed.

But the raw emotion in her voice set Dean off. The fact that she had seen his bare back felt like a violation in some way. Even though she probably saw it after dressing him up after the procedure.

"It's okay." Dean says, while Meg and Castiel glare at each other. Somehow both had made their way off the bed with their arms crossed opposite each other, glaring. 

Dean blinks back his tears before they spill. 

Meg is right. 

"It's okay. I'm fine. Michael- I don't care." He lies. All of the words are lies. "Don't fight." 

He doesn't want to be responsible for someone dying. His conscious couldn't handle any more guilt. 

Castiel looks skeptical when he shifts his attention from Meg to him. "Dean... You don't have to lie about your feelings."

Dean pulls his knees to his chest. Because he feels like he is taking too much space with his body. "I'm going to be okay." 

Meg let's out a breath that slumps her entire body. "I'm an asshole." 

They all snort, but nobody puts their heart into it. 

"Your Alpha is your business Dean. And I shouldn't care, because you're my patient and nothing more."

"But in my experience, attached Omegas unmate much slower than Omegas ready to move on." As she has told him before, not all of it is physically letting go.

Dean nods at her, even though all the moving and hunger has worsen his headache. "I'm not attached to Michael- but I'll remember that."

Castiel is tense, he feels like he should reach out and touch Dean to comfort both of them. But he waits for an invitation first.

Meg doesn't seem happy with the situation, but she goes along with it anyway.

"Okay... Let's get you to the class. Shall we?" 

Deans eyes widen. "Now? What about food?"

Meg points at the schedule left on the bedside. "Class, then food. I believe you can read, right?"

Castiel seems uncomfortable with Dean walking around light headed. "I don't believe that would be the best idea, Meg."

"It's in your contract that you would attend the classes. I suggest you follow the schedule if you want to divorce any time soon." She looks between the two of them, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm starting to believe that you don't want to divorce Michael."

Dean scoffs, knowing she is using his stubborn determination as an attempt to rile him and Castiel up. 

Sadly, it totally works.

Dean scoots over to the edge of the bed, reaches out with his arms to Castiel. "Help me up, please?"

Castiel is still glaring at Meg from the corner of his eyes, while helping Dean to his wobbly feet. 

His stomach growls and he sways with the dizziness of hunger. He has to lean all his weight onto Castiel to stay balanced. 

"Meg. When will there be food?" Dean whines, in denial of the schedule Meg had just told him about. 

He needs food.

Meg seems overly pleased with herself that she managed to get Dean out of his bed without touching him with a single finger. 

In the past she has physically dragged Omegas out of their beds into the hallways in order to get them to their appointments on time. But she'd rather not get physical with them. 

"Food is scheduled after your class. Don't get excited though, it won't be much."

She lays out Deans clothes for the day on the sofa. Waiting for him to come over and undress. They still have a few minutes before class begins. 

Dean takes a few steps towards her and feels the room tilt. "The room 's spinning." He complains as he almost loses his footing if it weren't for his Alpha. 

Castiel is there to catch him. He doesn't necessarily hold him all the way to the sofa, but he is only an inch away from saving him if he meeds to. 

"All part of the purifying process, Dean. Let's get you into some presentable clothes." Meg smirks at him when she wiggles him out of the shirt he is currently wearing.

 

\- Tuesday Morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 7:23 AM.

 

Dean wouldn't call bare feet and hospital gown presentable clothes in his humble opinion. 

But Meg does seem to think it is good enough for todays lung and heart purification class. 

Nothing is scraping over Deans tender neck in the gown he is wearing, so he doesn't complain. 

His belly is sticking out quite obviously making bis pregnancy known, his skin is pale from the hunger and his freckles are sticking out.

He feels horrible about his appearance. 

Ashamed even if he'd still been a high schooler. 

That was of course before he laid eyes upon the other Omegas attending the class.

He realizes that he isn't so bad looking after all considering his circumstances. 

When he, Meg and Castiel enter the white class room, they are the last to arrive.

15 Omegas are all sitting on the ground in a circle. All bare footed and cross legged. 

Their clothes are all grey and plain, like Castiels provided sweats and Deans hospital gown.

Most Omegas turn their heads to him when he enters, but some Omegas are unable to open their eyes or focus their glassed over gazes on anything. 

They're skinny. Their faces are hollow and dull with hunger and fatigue. If they can't sit up themselves they lean against a nurse behind them. 

They're so thin and unhealthy looking that Dean wonders if Omegas get fed anything at all. 

"They're in the latest stadium of the chemical divorce." Meg whispers to him while they make their way inside. 

She nudges Dean towards a free spot in the circle, but goes to stand with the other observing nurses on the side. 

"Clarence, go support your Omega. And you, be good, Dean." She warns him sternly, before she is out of earshot for whispering. 

"Hello everyone. This is Dean, he is the last newling to join us on this day." The class instructor smiles at him- totally ignoring Castiel and Meg. 

He is dressed in purple like the other nurses, but instead of plain pants he is wearing flowing yoga pants. His hairdo a mullet from the Golden Ages of the 80's.

Some of the Omegas have the energy to greet Dean when he enters the circle with Castiel. 

"Hello Dean." They say in sync.

Dean waves back half heartedly, Castiel helps him to sit down on a free spot next to another blonde Omega, not pregnant, but very fragile looking. 

Castiel has to help Dean towards the floor. He sits in the V of Castiels strong legs. 

It takes a moment for Dean to get comfortable. Luckily, the floor is the softest carpet he has ever felt and Castiel is behind him for him to lean against. 

He knows that even though he is hurting and uncomfortable, Castiel is lifting a load off of him, simply by being there. 

Castiel wraps his arms around Dean. He lays his hands on Deans hands atop of his rounded belly. 

"Is this alright?" Castiel whispers into his ear. 

"Yeah." He sighs out contently before he can stop himself. 

He feels safe and protected in his Alphas arms. So content that he almost forgets about Michael in the hospital.

Almost. 

"Alright everyone. My name is Ash, but you can also call me Dr.Bad-ass, for the three newlings on my floor." His feet are bare as well, long toes curling into the brown carpet.

Dean leans up to whisper directly into Castiels ear. "Why is this guy stuck in the 80's?"

Castiel snorts, unable to keep quiet at the lame comment. 

Immediately they receive disapproving looks from the Omegas and nurses in the room.

"We have two rules in this class, Dean. Everyone participates, and we don't laugh at each other." Ash tells him firmly. As if he is talking to a child. 

Dean wants to dissolve into thin air. His cheeks flush when he notices all eyes are on him. 

It wasn't even him whom had laughed, but he is the pregnant Omega, Ash had called Deans name not Castiels. 

At first Dean hadn't felt uneasy upon entering the class, even though he was in a room full of strangers. They're all weak. Omegas like him. 

But with their judgmental gazes on him, he immediately feels like an outsider again.

Castiel clears his throat. "Our apologies. We shall be quiet and not interrupt your class again." 

Ash's eyes don't even shift away from Dean when Castiel speaks. He doesn't even blink.

Meg gives them both the most disapproving look in the world from the other side of the room. Her hands are crossed over her chest and she is shaking her head. 

The other Omegas make faces. They're irritated and hungry, breakfast is served after class for them as well. 

"Please continue." Dean whispers, trying not to sound as mortified as he feels. "I'll shut up."

Ash leans down and lays a hand on Deans shoulder before Dean can scramble away. 

"Don't bottle up those emotions. Just share with the class so we can begin purifying our minds."

Dean casually shrugs Ash's hand off. He feels Castiels hands firm over his belly. Protecting him from the Beta if necessary. 

"Uhm. Can't think of anything right now." Dean admits hastily.

Ash steps back and sits down at the head of the circle where everyone can see him.

"Let's begin than shall we?" He crosses his legs and closes his eyes. "Everyone do as I do." 

Some Omegas cross their legs if they hadn't already. Some straighten their backs as much as their low energy level allows them to.

Castiel gives Dean an apologetic smile, before Dean closes his eyes like everyone else.

He doesn't want to be called out once more. His cheeks won't return to their normal color already. 

"Now Omegas. Take a very deep breath with me. One, two- deep breath in." Ash takes in the largest gulp of air he can physically take. "Hold it for one moment." 

Dean feels himself going dizzy by the time Ash tells him to breathe out. "Now, let all of it out in one hard huff." 

Dean complies, falling back into Castiel because of the sheer force of it. 

"Yes, class. Let it all out, don't breathe in yet."

Dean keeps huffing out air, until his lungs feel empty and cramped in together. 

"Just hold it there." Ash instructs them all, making Dean see stars behind his eyelids.

Last time he checked, humans needed air in order to live.

Castiel is there to help him through it though, also holding his breath even though he doesn't have to participate with the class. 

Dean would never ask him to go follow instructions Ash gave him, the fact that Castiel paid for him to stay at the clinic was to much for Dean to ask. 

He hadn't even have to ask.

Castiel was there to steady him when Ash allows everyone to breathe in. There are collective sighs of relief in the room. People gulping for air like fish on land.

Dean would have fallen over if it wasn't for Castiel. 

The perfect never selfish or mean, Castiel. 

"Everyone breathe with me. Five seconds in. Three holding it. Five letting out." Ash tells the class and starts breathing along.

"With this exercise for the next hour, we are going to purify all the air in your lungs. Which means clear oxygen is entering your body, veins and heart. The next step for you to become free Omegas."

Dean knows that it has been a while since he'd felt free. 

But he doesn't remember being free meant being light headed to the point that he could see entire constellations behind his closed eyelids. 

Castiel leans forward to whisper in his ear. "You're doing amazing. Try to breathe with me."

He keeps his mouth against the shell of Deans ear, huffing out air when he needs to. 

It's encouraging and easy to follow. A little sexy as well, but nobody needed to known that. 

He is entirely grateful for Castiel, who's warm hands are protecting his baby bump. Even though Dean knows he doesn't deserve this.

 

\- Tuesday afternoon. San Francisco, California. 04:17 PM.

 

The uneasiest feeling one can experience, is the creeping sense that someone is watching you. 

Sam turns to the window in his classroom for the thousandth time that day and feels his neck hairs standing up every time.

Someone has been watching him. Positively. 

He hasn't felt completely safe after calling Michael out in the news the day before. 

He jumps every time a student calls his name. His skin crawls at every bird or car he hears outside. 

His shoulders are tense with the sensation. 

By the end of the schoolday he goes straight home. Instead of hanging around with the other teachers while they grade together. 

Sam feels icky and uneasy to the point that he all but runs to his car when his last class finished. 

He locks the door before he starts the engine.

He is prepared for someone to jump out of the bushes at any moment. Or for a car to follow right behind him out of the parking lot.

But nothing happens.

He wants to kick himself. Would have called the police if he had felt the sensation for a moment longer.

They would call him paranoid, but at least his potential attacker knows Sam isn't afraid to call 911. He will know that Sam has a friendly relationship with the cops in his neighborhood.

He drives home a little faster than the speed limit, despite himself. 

When he arrives at his little house just outside the city, something feels wrong.

He makes it to the door with his bag, fiddles with the keys to rush inside. 

Sam knows something is definitely wrong.

He had left the curtain open when he left to work. Now, they're closed shut tightly!

His neighbor gossipy Amy wasn't spying through her kitchen window after he drove into their street driving like a maniac. Which she always did after work. 

But the biggest clue was the one concerning Sam the most. 

His golden retriever Spark wasn't barking by his feet by the time Sam entered the house.

His heart is pounding out of his chest. 

"Spark. I'm home, boy." He calls out while walking slowly into his eerily quiet house.

He knows that someone has been here. The door to the living room is shut closed. Sam would never trap Spark in one room like that.

He is for a lot ready for an attack. Ready to find all his stuff to be stolen. Perhaps a threatening letter from Michael.

What he is not ready for, is his dead dog laying in the middle of the living room floor in a pool of his own blood.

Sams eyes immediately fill with tears. He falls to his knees in front of the crime scene. 

His hands are shaking when he touches Spark. Checking if his buddy really isn't breathing anymore.

There is no pulse. His fur is already cold. 

"Fuck." Sam spits out to gritted teeth. Completely outraged. 

His hand reaches for his phone. He knows someone is threatening him. He also suspects who it is. 

He needs the police to come over and protect him.

He types in 9-1- But, then someone is calling him.

Sams cellphone doesn't recognize the number. But the timing is too perfect. 

He answers it. Eyes darting towards the windows, he knows somewhere someone is watching him.

"Samuel Winchester, long not spoken." 

Michaels voice is hoarse. Last Sam heard of him was that he had seizures and ended up in the hospital. 

Which meant that Dean was successfully staring to unmate him. 

"Michael." Sam is angry. So incredibly angry. His face turns red with it, vines popping. "You have gone too far."

That dog was Sams life. Greeting him with love and enthusiasm each and every day. 

"This entire situation has gone on for far too long." Michaels voice is almost as angry as Sam, just less energetic. 

"Where is my Omega. Where is Dean?" Michael demands to know, not fooling around with a slick business voice. He is raw with emotion. 

Sam gets up to his feet. Shoes, pants and hands stained with his beloved dogs fresh blood. "I don't know." He says blankly, stalking over to a window to check where someone could be keeping an eye on him.

"Do you really think that I believe that?" 

Sam can't hold it any longer. "You thought killing my fucking dog would make me sell out my brother?" That would have been stupid, he needs to know what Michael wants. 

"No." Michael halts. "It is a warning Samuel. I have people who can do quick, secret killing. All I have to do is snap my fingers and they're inside your comfortable little home." 

Sam frowns. Thinking. 

This is a bold move for Michael to make. If Sam gets proof of this conversation. Proof Michael killed his dog and threatened him, Michael is done for it. 

It could possibly safe Dean as well in the end.

"You're becoming desperate, aren't you?" Sam asks, leaning against the glass window to peer outside as he taunts Michael. "The public is noticing Dean hasn't been captured. They wonder why he climbed out of the gas station instead of running back to you, while Castiel was getting his car. They're wondering why Dean never spoke to his family. Why he never had friends." 

Sam takes a deep breath. "You're in the hospital. Sudden seizures and a disappeared Omega, put two and two together. Chemical divorce. You're running out of time, Michael. You're desperate to find my brother before he can unmate you. Before there is no turning back." 

Michael growls in anger from deep within his chest.

Exactly what Sam wants. Getting to him for abusing his brother for years. For killing his innocent dog.

"And now you send your tough men, illegally to threaten me into telling you where my brother is. You're desperate. What will you do if I don't tell you?" 

Sam genuinely didn't know where Dean was getting the divorce. He suspects in an illegal clinic with a good reputation, probably not hard to find if one has connections. 

Michael knows now too that Dean is in one of the thousand illegal clinics in America- Canada or south America. Which narrows down quite a lot from anywhere in the world.

If he believes Sam knows at least what state or town Dean is staying, Michaels people could easily find Dean. 

"Don't think I won't harm you and blame it on Castiel, Samuel. Don't you take me for a fool." Michael sounds restrained as if he is in pain. "Tell me where he is. I won't harm him for as long we are not unmated."

Sam squares his shoulders. "I don't know where Dean is. You can go fuck yourself if you think I believe you wouldn't harm my brother again. You've harmed him before, Michael." 

They're both quiet for a moment.

Then, Michael lets out a sigh. "All I wanted from Dean was a healthy baby. That's all I expected of him." 

Sam gulps audibly. "All I want is my brother safe and away from you. In jail or dead. I don't care." 

"Fine." Michaels voice is further away from his phone, but Sam can hear him speak in the background. 

"Take him."

Sams eyes go wide, and before he can hang the phone and call 911- 

Someone steps up from behind him and pushes a cloth against his nose and mouth, until Sam inhales the sedatives. 

His eyes roll back into his head. His body is too heavy to keep standing up. And world goes black. 

He passes out instantly. 

 

\- Tuesday Evening. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 9:42 PM.

 

Like breakfast and lunch, Deans dinner exists of a glass of Lemonade mixed with a vitamin cocktail, a tall glass of purified water and five slices of lemon.

It's only been one day, but Dean is already over lemon. Especially since he smells the chicken Castiel had eaten with the nurses, on Castiels clothes.

The lack of various foods, the ridiculous breathing class, Sam not picking up his phone and the too hot sauna Meg had him sweating in hours ago made Deans mood almost unbearable.

Luckily he isn't in much pain anymore since the morning. His neck was tender to touch, but the endless throbbing had calmed down.

He flops down onto his bed with a tired sigh. He's shirtless, cupping his baby bump to soothe himself. 

The baby still kicking and alive. 

Hopefully still growing for at least another 3 months. Dean just wants to hit his third trimester. Wants the baby to be big, before leaving his body.

He sighs into his pillow. It smells like Castiel. 

Like Alpha.

He tries not to worry about Sam. Tries to tell himself that randomly calling unannounced in the middle of the day doesn't guarantee Sam will answer the phone.

Even though Dean had told him to keep an eye on the damn thing.

"Are you well, Dean?"

Castiel comes creeping into the room with fresh clothes that don't smell like chicken. That don't make Dean jealous. 

"I had a shit day." 

Dean doesn't look up from his pillow, but he hears Castiel come closer and lay behind him on the bed. Spooning him. 

He puts an arm around Dean, protecting him. "I know. They say that if you go under sedatives in a bad mood, you wake up the same way. I should have apologized before your procedure."

Dean lays a hand over Castiels warm hand. Lacing their fingers together the way Michael used to lay his hand over Deans belly whenever his heat came a day late. Hoping he was with child.

"You never have to apologize to me." Dean whispers towards the wall. "I'm not worthy of you."

"The world is not worthy of you, Dean. You deserve the universe and each star it holds." Castiel kisses the tender skin of his neck. Right over the scar of his mating mark. "I hate Michael for making you feel so low about yourself." 

Dean tenses at the forbidden name. He has hoped that after Megs odd outburst the subject would have dropped forever. 

He hates thinking about Michael. Thinking that Michael is in a hospital dying because of Dean. At any moment Dean is ready to feel his mating mark tug and disappear with his Alphas death.

He is pulled out of his thoughts by Castiels warm fingers trailing down Deans back. 

"Did he do this to you?" Castiel whispers against his skin. 

Deans back is freckled, like his nose. But it's also littered with tiny healed white scars. Some are deeper than others. Crisscrossing over his back in no particular pattern. 

Castiel traces some of the darker deeper lines. His eyes prickling with tears. "How can someone hurt such a precious being like you?" 

Dean gulps down his own emotions. "That's not Michaels doing." 

Castiel kisses his neck again. He's a patient man, but an even more caring Alpha. "Who hurt you?"

"My dad." Dean says blankly. "He- used to correct me with his belt." 

He halts. Feels Castiel tense behind him. "Things got hard after my mother died. She was the Alpha. She kept my little brother and I in line. Disciplining us became difficult for our father. He never done it before." 

Castiels breath is caught in his throat. He can't seem to breathe anymore.

"He did what he thought was right. We were wild young boys. He didn't know how to control us any other way." 

"That's no excuse. There is no excuse to harm a child." Castiel inhales the grief coming from Deans scent. He takes it in, carries a part of the heavy load on Deans shoulders. 

Subconsciously Castiel releases his comforting Alpha pheromones to calm Dean.

Even though he isn't Deans Alpha. Officially.

"My father, he never punished Sam in front of me. He knew I would freak out. But I'm afraid he did hurt him, secretly."

Castiel kisses one of the darker deeper cuts. Closing his eyes and pulling himself tightly around Dean.

"I'm sorry Sam couldn't talk on the phone today." Castiel whispers right into his ear. "I know how much he means to you. We will try again tomorrow."

Crowley didn't like his clients having contact with the outside world during their divorce. Isolation is a variable Crowley is still testing on how much affect it had on the process.

He said Dean shouldn't risk it

Dean couldn't risk losing contact with Sam again. 

"And if he won't answer we call his lawyer friend. Charlie was her name, right?" 

Dean nods, his vision swimming with hunger even though dinner hadn't been long ago. 

"Thanks Cas." 

He turns around, flips to his other side until he is facing Castiel. He wants the Alpha to stop touching his scars. He doesn't need to worry about his past if there is so much already messed up in the present.

His baby's possible underdevelopment. His brothers radio silence. His chemical divorce being an incredibly high risking. His Alpha in the hospital, perhaps dead because of Dean. That same Alpha and the police wanting him back in Seattle to play house for the rest of his miserable life.

Castiel reaches out to him with his warm soft hand, and wipes away two tears rolling down his face.

"It'll be okay, Dean. In the end, it will be okay."

He puts a hand on Deans stomach and rubs it gently. His palm soft and dry as he caresses Deans bump as if he is worth all the gold in the world. 

"I hope so, Cas." He whispers, allowing himself to lean their foreheads together. 

For now, this will have to do.

 

\- Friday Evening. Dizzy Tap Ale House, Kansas. 11:36 PM. Year: 2009

 

"You've got the prettiest eyes I've ever laid eyes upon." 

The Alphas leans closer to Dean over the bar, his coat reeks of cigarettes. "I swear to God. I'm usually an Ass sort of guy, but you can be the exception." 

Dean squirms in his chair. "Uh, thanks." 

The man grins at him. "Don't you worry though. I like your ass just fine as well." 

Dean takes his drink in his hand and is about to leave. The guys hungry gaze is freaking him out. "So I'm just gonna go..." He murmurs unintelligibly, staring at his feet as he is getting up.

The man lays a heavy hand on his shoulder and pushes him back down into his chair. "I believe I bought that drink for you, Sugar lips. Why don't we finish it together."

His hand travels down, until it's resting nestled between Deans thighs. He had tried to clamp them shut in time, but the intruder was already there before he could protect himself. 

His cheeks turn red with embarrassment. "Uh... I don't know." He whispers, barely audible.

He shouldn't have come here. Bobby had warned him about these sort of places. Where Omegas meet the wrong guy and are found dead in a dumpster at the back the next morning, bruised and raped.

"I think I deserve as much, don't you think?" The guy asks, leaning close enough to sniff at Deans soft sweaty neck. 

Dean is too shocked to move. Frozen in place like a terrified statue.

"Will you come home with me?" The mans breath reeks of alcohol while he huffs into the small Omegas ear. "I'll make sure that innocent virgin blush you got won't be a problem any longer. I'll wreck you, little Omega." 

Dean is only 16. 

Tears are streaming down his face before he can control himself. Yet he can't get himself to move away from the harsh hands caressing his inner thigh. 

The Alpha grips his shoulder. "Let's get to my car, shall we?"

He gets up to drag Dean to the exist, his grip of steel and Dean can’t struggle away. Can’t find his voice to call our for help. 

But then- a miracle occurs.

"Is this man bothering you?" 

The largest man Dean has ever seen stands between Dean and the other Alpha.

Dean holds back a sob. He is shaking from head to toe and can't get his mouth to form words. 

The large man harshly pushes the Alpha towards the exit. He is much stronger and easily overpowers him. "Don't show your face here again. I will beat it up so bad the police won't even recognize you."

To Deans surprise, the Alpha just leaves. Imitated by Deans rescuer.

"Whatever dude. This place blows. Wasted my fucking money on a drink for some ungrateful-" The door is pushed closed behind him, so Dean couldn’t hear the rest of his colorful complains about him.

The tall dark haired man looks down at Dean. Smiling softly at him. 

"Are you alright?" The question is genuine, sweetly spoken by a smooth deep voice. 

Dean knees are weak. He isn't sure if it's because he is still shaken, or because the most handsome Alpha he has ever laid eyes upon is standing in front of him. 

"Yeah..." He says weakly. "I'm just- my father died." 

Dean curses himself.

The Alphas eyes go wide. He hadn’t expected that. "Oh God. My condolences." 

Dean nods, embarrassed. "Thanks... I didn't mean to share that. It's just a lot right now. I came to just have a good time. No more thinking." He rambles with tears streaming down his cheeks. He feels like he can finally breathe. 

"Then you meet that asshole." The Alpha sighs sympathetically. "Let’s get you home safe. You need a cab.”

Dean frowns. He totally doesn’t have money for a cab right now. He was lucky his friend had dropped him off at the bar at the beginning of the night. His teenage brain hadn’t thought of a way back home to Bobby’s.

The Alpha sees the struggle on his face. “Let me grab you a cab, alright?" 

Dean knows that he is being a bother. 

"That's too much to ask." 

The Alphas gaze softens. "No it's not. Someone has to look after you in such hard times.” He reaches out and guides Dean towards the exit. 

“Come on, let's get you home."

Dean follows him outside. 

Together they wait for a taxi to come and take Dean outside of town. Over 30 minutes drive that will cost too much money. 

"How can I repay you?" Dean asks the tall man with beautiful dark eyes after he pays for the taxi driver over 300 dollars to get the Omega home safe. 

The Alpha smiles at him. "Maybe..." He reaches into his pocket and hands Dean his business card. 

"Call me if you want. When you feel better, or if you need someone to talk to. I can be that person." The Alpha tells him through the window of the cab. “You don’t have to. It’s okay if you don’t want to.” 

Dean feels his heart flood with warmth. "Okay." He says tentatively, before the cabbie tells them to say their goodbyes and he takes off into the night.

“Goodbye, look after yourself.”

“I will. Thank you, Alpha.” 

They leave the tall dark haired Alpha in the rear view mirror, standing tall and proud in front of the buzzing bar.

Dean realizes he never got the mans name during their short meaningful meeting. 

Dean scans down the Wonder Corps business card and smiles at the name of his guardian angel. 

Michael Smith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s 7.6 K and only 6 hours of sleep tonight before a full day at college tomorrow, but you’re welcome ;)  
> Would you guys be so so so so kind and leave comments again? They were so inspiring last time. Honestly making me feel amazing about writing. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK LOOOVE
> 
> And what do you guys feel when I say we are over halfway through the story? 7 more chapters or something and 2 small one chapter epilogues?


	8. Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel take action against Sams disappearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment. I’m tired lol. 7.7 K You’re all welcome

The thing about fairytales is, that they almost never end like one.

\- Saturday afternoon. Ansonia, Pennsylvania. 4:18 PM. 2006.

 

Growing up, Castiel was set up to fail. 

Not because his family didn't have any money, not because his community didn't support him. And not because Castiel lacked helpful resources.

He simply couldn't archive what his siblings could. 

Castiel has never been good at social skills. He played solitary from kindergarten up to middle school. He didn't make an effort to get friends or fit into social circles.

No, he didn't like football. He also didn't have an opinion on the new star wars movie.

Unlike Raphael, who got drunk with friends most weekends. Or Alfie who had a new girl swooning over him every other month.

Castiel was alone, if not with one of his siblings. Who grew tired of him depending of them so he wouldn't sit alone in the cafeteria. 

Besides his lack of social skills, Castiels grades were average.

He never really struggled, but he also never thrived either. B's on all subjects. The C for Spanish, and an A for economics, were the only exception that balanced each other out again. 

Unlike his older brother Gabriel, with his impressive A+ on all subjects. 

Or Balthazar, who got scholarships for his coding and technical knowledge at the age of 15. 

Then there was Anna, whom inspired their mother to start up a new branch in the company for children's toys. At the age of 16, putting together the most technical but original toys for Angel Inc. 

Castiel never jumped out of the bunch. The oldest is Gabriel. The youngest is Lucifer.

Castiel was someone in between. Average and plain compared to his siblings. He didn't come home with friends, trophies, Omegas or an amazing report card. 

Yet somehow, Castiel has always been his fathers favorite.

From the day Castiel was born, the Omega cooed over his sons bright blue eyes. None of his other children struck a cord to his heart like his Castiel did. 

His father didn't need the most beautiful drawings, grades or achievements from his beautiful son, because Castiel was enough the way he was.

While Naomi was drilling her children to think of new ideas and designs for the company while they were still kids. Still in high school. All the Novaks were eager to please her. 

They all wanted to win her affection. To be the best and the first to show they deserved it the most.

Castiel never had to. He never had to fight for the attention and praise his siblings had to struggle with, because he was his fathers favorite. 

Naomi showed her upmost loving self to the child with the highest achievement at that time, but Castiel had never stood a chance with her. 

He always went to his father, whom thought Castiel was an angel simply for making him tea. For getting a B in spanish class. For having a presentation and speaking loud enough for the back row of the classroom to hear him as well. 

Castiel knew it wasn't fair for his other siblings, but he wouldn't trade being his fathers favorite for anything in the world. 

\- 

When Anna is 18 years old, she breaks her leg during her gymnastics competition. 

It's a messy, painful injury, broken bone, torn skin and ripped muscles aren't a joke.

The doctor operates on her leg. She recovers for a long straining time. 

"Cas sweetie, will you get the groceries for me?" Castiels father asks him from his bed. He's been sick and sweaty for the past few days.

Castiel is happy to oblige. He feels horrible for his sister (stuck on the couch) and his father (sick in his bed). "Of course I will." 

His father hands him the grocery list with shaking hands. Before he pulls away he grasps Castiels wrist and rubs it gently. 

"Don't forget the meds for Anna. The operation wasn't easy on her. She needs them." His father tells Castiel in a very serious tone. 

Castiel hastily nods. "I know dad. She is hurting..." 

His fathers eyes immediately soften. "You are a beautiful caring Alpha, my son. There aren't many like you, Castiel." He smiles, sincerely and pleased. "I'm proud to be your father." 

His voice comes out raspy and weak, but Castiel could understand him clearly. His heart swells at the praise. 

"You taught me everything, dad." 

His father smiles at him before laying back down on the bed. Satisfied with their exchange. "Buy something nice for yourself too."

"Okay. Thanks dad." 

While Castiel leaves the room he thanks God five times in a row for being his fathers favorite.

Before he leaves the house, he reads over the grocery list once more. He frowns down at it and stalks back into the living room where Anna is lounging on the couch with some of her tools to make toys.

"Anna. I know that I'm not a doctor, but-"

Anna looks up at him with an unimpressed expression on her face. She is watching Americans next top model. 

"But?"

Castiel clears his throat. "But, you could become addicted to these medications if you keep using them. They include opioids, which is highly addictive." 

Anna blinks at him. "I've stopped using them a few days ago. I don't want to end up like those pathetic people on Dr Phil."

It is Castiels turn to look blankly at her. He doesn't want to know why his father had insisted on buying the medication for Anna if she'd stopped using them a few days ago.

He really doesn't want to know.

"Why, what's the matter?" Anna asks, growing suspicious of his silence and statue-like stillness. 

Castiel crumbles up the grocery list in his palm. Suddenly he feels sick. 

"Nothing." He clamps out through gritted teeth, before floating over towards the front door. Leaving Anna with a questioning raised eyebrow on the couch. 

Castiel goes to the store obediently. Buys all items on the grocery list his father had put together. 

Even the prescript medication Anna said she didn't use anymore. 

He should have known that was the first sign. 

 

\- Wednesday afternoon. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 2:25 PM.

 

The only working cellphone in Crowleys clinic was in Crowleys personal office. On his hardwood desk. 

Castiel and Dean had waited Sam out for another twelve hours. But Dean was growing unhealthy anxious by Wednesday morning.

They had given in and called Charlie. She, to Deans horror, shared their concern for Sams absence. 

She went to his house and saw no sign of Sam. Not even a sign he had slept there. The dog was also gone.

Charlie had managed to hack into Sams hotmail account and found out he had written an e-mail to his job that he was putting in his sick days so he could have some time for himself. He had also added that he would road trip through the States.

It didn't sound like Sam, and the school wasn't amused by his sudden leave, but the police wouldn't do anything, because Sam wasn't missing according to his e-mail.

He was simply traveling, on a 'vacation.'

Even though Charlie had noted that none of Sams clothes are missing. Neither is his toothbrush or passport.

With every minute, Deans anxiety grew. He couldn't sit still and wasn't able to keep the panic at bay any longer.

Michael had definitely done something to his brother, but the police wouldn't do anything.

Castiel knew that time for action was right now. Not a minute later.

Hence why he is in Crowleys office, waiting for a call back from his old companion. 

It took a while before Castiels pride allowed him to dial the number. Had he not been a fugitive, Castiel could have handled this issue on his own. But the desperation growing in Deans eyes wasn't going to be contained much longer.

Dean should be focusing on the divorce. Not anything else. 

So Castiel took it upon himself to get rid of any distractions. And if he could, get rid of Michael in the process as well. 

Then, after waiting an agonizingly long 30 minutes, the phone rings.

Castiel grabs the phone and holds it to his ear tensely. 

"Gabriel. I need a favor." 

 

\- Wednesday afternoon. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 3:04 PM

 

"I don't want you to go." Dean whispers softly. He knows it's childish. He knows Castiel is doing him a favor Dean could never repay.

But he can't help himself. He's almost bedridden at this point, too sick and weak to walk around. 

The blanket is pulled tightly around him to keep his shaking body as warm as possible. The hunger kept his body littered in goosebumps. 

He can’t go on a safety mission for his brother right now. 

Castiel sits down on the edge of the bed. His hand gently resting on Deans belly. 

"I will miss you too." He says softly and feels the baby kick against his palm. He closes his eyes to savor the feeling. 

"I need to do this in order to ensure Sams safety. Law enforcement won't take action. I don't want anything to happen to him, for his sake, but also yours." Castiel reminds Dean to be reasonable. He doesn't want to leave Dean either. Not with how vulnerable the Omega is now. 

The hunger leaves him sluggish and slow. The herbs Crowley makes him take make him sick. The baby is still kicking, but the movement is growing weaker, like Dean.

Deans body can't go through this process twice. He wouldn't survive that. Leaving the clinic with Castiel isn't an option for Dean. 

"I know..." Dean whispers, taking Castiels hand away from his belly to intertwine their fingers. "You're putting a lot at risk for me. I'm eternally grateful. Don't listen to my whiny hormonal ass." 

"I'm glad to do it." Castiel relaxes his frown and twists until he can kiss the top of Deans clothed belly. "For you and the baby. For Sam." 

Dean lets out a heavy breath. "Are you sure about the plan... About your brother? Won't he just go to the police and turn you in?" 

Castiel has said and thought a lot of resentful things about his older brother. But Gabriel was and will always be a man ready to look after his family at all costs. 

"He agreed to safe your brother as a favor. I had to explain our situation, but it turns out that Sams suggestion about you running off instead of getting kidnapped is becoming a more believable story to the public." Castiel looks into Deans dull, tired eyes. "Gabriel is the oldest. He takes pride in protecting us. But he wants to physically see me, before he agrees to the plan." 

Dean smiles at him best as he could at that moment. "I wish I could storm out of this clinic and be the big brother I once was to safe Sam. But I don't stand a chance right now. Michael could easily have me captured right now." 

Castiel nods. "You don't move an inch. Let me handle this. Let me get your brother home. You focus on getting divorced and growing that baby." 

He clasps both of Deans hands in his, staring into his deep green eyes. 

"Will you promise me that?"

Dean nods slowly. "I will Cas. I'll divorce Michael and grow the baby." He squeezes their hands and returns the solemn look. 

"Do you promise me that you'll get my little brother home safe?"

"I will." Castiel promises. "Just keep to the plan, Dean. Remember 10 PM, your house in Klamath. Trust me. If you keep to the plan your brother will be back where he belongs in no time."

He wishes he could seal it with a kiss.

Deans lips are full and plum, inviting Castiel in a sinful way. 

But Dean is also fragile and emotional right now. Castiel can't get himself to take advantage of that. 

"I trust you, Cas." 

Instead of sealing it with a kiss on the mouth, Castiel leans over until he can place a tender kiss on the rounding of Deans pregnant belly.

It's almost better, in its own way.

 

\- Friday morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 5:47 AM.

 

Dean is restless. He can't sleep. 

Not while he doesn't know where his brother is sleeping tonight. Not with his baby kicking his organs like a football. Not with his empty stomach growling. Not without the warmth of Castiels body beside him. 

His legs are shaking dangerously while he climbs out of bed. 

He pulls the blanket around his shoulders and tiptoes down the eerily quiet hallways of the clinic towards Crowleys office.

When Dean arrives he knocks two times, but there is no response. 

He knows that even Crowley can't work around the clock, even though he has sleeping courters for him and his staff in the building of the clinic. He must still be sleeping.

Dean sways a bit, because of the hunger, but he manages to close the door behind himself quietly and settle into the dark leather office chair behind Crowleys wooden desk.

He gets comfortable on it, as much as a hungry pregnant person can be comfortable.

He stares at the phone in the corner of the desk. He waits for it to ring.

Without Castiel, Dean feels lonely. Even though the Alpha had only left a day ago. Dean had grown used to having a solid presence beside him every day for the past few weeks.

Since leaving Sam and Bobby years ago, Dean had fallen into a lonely pit of thoughts he couldn't share. 

He had grown used to being solitary over the years, living with Michael was no different from living alone. 

But now that he had gotten a taste of having a person he could banter with and relieve his heart to. It wasn't easy to turn the switch again and to feel less saddened about being alone again. 

Dean curls in around himself and feels his baby kick unhappily. They need food. They need sunlight. They need Castiel.

Dean just needs to focus on getting through the purification process faster. He needs to put his heart into cleansing himself, so that he could feed his baby properly again.

His stomach growls loudly in the quiet, dark room. The baby kicks at his kidneys in an unhappy manner. 

"I know. I'm sorry." Dean whispers, rubbing at the underside of his belly to soothe his child as best as he cam. The movement is sluggish and weak. 

He should have at least taken a bottle of water with him. The only thing he was allowed to consume between dinner and breakfast.

"We'll get through this." He adds to reassure himself as much as the baby. 

His baby will meet Sam. Both of them will make it through this. Dean tells himself in a mantra. 

He closes his eyes and keeps repeating it. 

His baby will meet Sam. Both of them will make it through this. His baby will meet Sam. Both of them will make it through this.

Castiel and Sam will meet his baby. All of them will make it through this. 

 

\- Friday morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 7:38 AM.

 

"Do you know why they call it a chemical divorce?" 

Dean startles up from his nap with a twinge in his neck. 

When he opens his eyes he finds Crowley standing in the door to his office. Suitcase in his one hand and in the other one his coat. 

He knows he shouldn’t be surprised to see Crowley, but he is. 

Still he doesn't get up from the Alphas office chair. 

Dean rubs at his eyes to get the sleep out of them. But he fears that the haze he can't see through has nothing to do with sleep. And everything to do with his diet. 

Dean straightens his spine as much as he can with his lack of energy. 

He has been waiting for a response from Sam for over two days. Castiel has been gone for more than a day now as well. 

The lawyer, Charlie hadn't heard from Sam anymore either, besides a short shady text message saying he needed some time alone.

Dean knows he should be focusing on divorcing Michael like he'd promised Castiel. He's been feeling sicker and sicker with the hour. He's weak and hollowed out. 

He didn't get much to eat to begin with. But everything he got into his system he almost immediately threw back up. 

Meg tried consoling him after Castiel left Dean with hot baths, face masks and more sweaty trips to the sauna. But nothing got Deans mind off of his little brother, who's in danger on the complete opposite side of the States.

The only phone in the clinic is in Crowleys office. So that is where Dean decided to stay for if Castiel or Sam or Charlie might call back. 

He's been in the office all morning to Megs disapproval. Though she still brought him a bottle of water after she noticed he'd left his room. Even though she warned him that Crowley won’t like it that Dean wanted to stay in his office. 

"No." Dean gulps, he knows he overstepped his boundaries by invading Crowleys office, but his brother is Deans priority. "I don't know why it’s called a Chemical divorce." 

Crowley sighs tiredly, grabs a chair from the wall and places it in front of his desk. Opposite of Dean. It feels different and odd to sit on the wrong side. 

He drops his coat over the back of the chair and lowers his bag to the carpet.

"Because in 1502 Omega adventurer Lilith Tores from Spain set foot in the Mayan Kingdom Uxmal. After escaping from her own people, the colonists. There in the city she fell in love, as it goes in these type of stories." Crowley stares at Dean, he crosses his legs over one another.

"She and the Mayan Alpha were madly in love, but sadly she belonged to her uncle. Who mated her as soon as the young woman hit puberty. That's how it went in those days." 

Dean isn't sure why Crowley is telling him this. He shifts uncomfortably in Crowleys office chair. Feeling out of place, because he is. 

"She was sad to tell the Mayan Alpha that she could not stay, for they could never be together. But that's when he proved her the Mayans weren't dumb uncivilized people, quite the opposite. He proved her that loud-and-proud Europe was quite undeveloped compared to what the Mayas has accomplished in the medical field." 

"He unmated her." Dean says softly. His hand on his belly, sooting the kicks against his tender ribs. "So early in history."

"So it was." Crowley nods. "The happy Alpha made his people unmate her and finally got together with her. Sadly, not for long. The colonialists found the city after months in the dark forests. The young womans uncle was very upset to find his Omega sleeping with another Alpha. She wrote in her diary that her uncle beat her until she lost the baby she was carrying. He killed her new Mayan Alpha. Actually, he killed everyone in the city. He took her back to Spain. He locked her up forever in his house. Then he demanded to know how she had managed to divorce him." 

Deans feels saddened for Lilith. Omegas never had it easy throughout history.

"He wanted to reclaim her. He bit her neck, tore her skin up, but nothing worked, even though he had killed the Mayan man. Once divorced, forever divorced. Her uncle demanded to know how the Mayas had managed to do Gods work, undoing a mating bond without murdering the other party was unheard of." Crowley looks smug. 

"Gods work it was... I owe everything I have to Lilith Tores. She lied to her Uncle. She told him a story everyone at the time believed. She said that in South America, a blood red flower on top of a green hill needs to be burned and injected into the skin. Then there is supposed to be a chemical reaction." 

Dean nods, confused. "There was no blood red flower on some random hill, right?"

Crowley shook his head. "No, there wasn't. But word spread quickly. Her uncle and a lot of other Europeans became obsessed with finding the flowers. They knew there was demand for it. Her Uncle was always gone and looking for it in the hope of ever mating his niece again. Lilith on the other hand was alone in their house in Spain, and wrote a book about her experiences. 'My year with Cadmael' it was called. She secretly passed it on to her Omega child, who passed it on to hers."

Crowley got up and walked to his impressively stocked book shelf. He removed two fake books and grabbed the leather bound journal from its hiding place. 

He walked back to Dean and lays the book out on his desk.

"Now it's in my possession. Everything the Mayas did to her, is in here. This treatment is so incredibly secret that only I know it in all it's details. The rest of my staff know bits and pieces enough for them to their job. But not everything.” 

Dean looks down at it. It's leather case is newer than 500 years old, but it looks legit. He feels anxious he might spill something on it, even though there was nothing around him to spill.

Lilith has left this information to Omegas to escape when she couldn't. 

"It's up to me now to divorce as many Omegas as I can. Even though not many chemical reactions are involved in this process. Modern day hospitals are still build around Liliths lies about chemicals and flowers. That's why my success rate is almost twice as high."  
   
Crowley is hovering over the desk, close to the book so he could snatch it away if he had to.

"Why are you telling me this?" Dean asks slowly. 

Crowleys face turns more somber, taking the book back from his desk. "Most Omegas will never get an affective treatment like yours. Many Omegas fight for a chance like yours. Lilith would have killed for a chance like yours. Yet, you are here doing everything you can not to obey."

He puts the book back into the shelf and hides it behind its covers. 

Dean has a hard time focusing on Crowleys face when he turns back to Dean. 

Crowley takes a deep breath and softens his facial expression. "It's getting harder at this point, isn't it?" Crowley asks while studying Dean. "You really have to put your heart into the divorce, else you might crack under the pressure."

Dean scoffs. "I won't crack." 

"The circles under your eyes say otherwise. The slump of your shoulders. And the unfocused haze in your eyes." Crowley sits back in his seat and looks at him skeptically. "You're falling, Dean. And if you don't focus on your health you might not pull through."

Dean folds his arms over his chest defensively. He has no words to defend himself, Crowley has seen countless Omegas like him so he knows best.

The man is right, Dean feels like he is slowly fading. He can hardly keep his eyes open most of the time.

"Stop worrying about Castiel or your brother or that Alpha. Focus on the divorce." Crowley puts a hand on desk and grips it tightly in frustration. 

"Have that baby and be free. It’s time to be free from all those stupid Alphas. Don't you want to be free, Dean?" 

Dean gulps down the lump in his throat. He's shaking, and cold despite the blanket around his shoulders.

"I want my brother to be safe. I want my baby to be safe. I don't care about myself. I really don't care as long as they are okay. But neither of them are." Dean says with a pained expression. "So I can't just sit back and let Meg apply face-masks and take hot baths."

"Which are two important factors to purifying the body. Cleansing pores and sweating." He leans forwards on his elbows. "I know what I'm doing. Lilith knows what has to be done." 

Dean closes his eyes and sighs. 

"And don't forget, your baby is dependent on your wellbeing." Crowley reminds him with a smirk. "Why don't you just go to your room and stick to your schedule, I'll let you know when your brother calls, or when you have to make the call."

Dean leans back into the office chair and shrugs. "I can follow my schedule just fine from here. Close to the phone."

Crowley is about to deny him, but Dean interrupts him. 

"I know that Cas is paying you good money for my treatment. More money than you usually take." Dean raises an eyebrow at him. "I get your best services. I'm sitting tight."

Crowley groans. "Fine. But I have work to do, so we have to switch seats."

 

\- Friday evening. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 6:04 PM.

 

Dean feels like he is about to break 48 hours after Sams disappearance. 

Luckily it's been 6 PM, the time Castiel instructed him to start their plan to safe Sam.

Dean waits until he's alone in Crowleys office. Meg brought him dinner already and Crowley has a new client to attend to.

He gets up from the chair and shuffles to the phone on the desk. 

The room spins when he walks, but he caught himself on the desk before he stumbles.

Like Sams number, he knows this one by heart as well. He'd dialed it every time he had to unexpectedly eat dinner alone at the large kitchen table. He calls the number with bad news every month when he got his period instead of a baby. 

No good memories are attached to his Alphas personal number. 

206-210-7337

Dean holds his breath while the phone is dialing. He consciously picks up the breathing pattern from Ash's ridiculous class to calm himself. 

It takes five agitating rings, before the phone is picked up.

"It's already been 48 hours." Michael chuckles. "You've been dying to call me, but at the same time you must have been deadly afraid to do so." 

The sound of his Alphas deep voice has Deans knees buckling under his weight. He leans against the desktop to balance himself. Dean is shaking from head to toe. 

But it's not fear he is experiencing. It's anger.

He hopes that Castiels plan will work, before Dean does something stupid. 

"You have to let him go." His voice is not above a whisper, but he sounds furious. He suddenly feels hot angry tears are rolling down his cheeks.

"Oh Dean, I don't know what you're referring to." Michaels voice almost sounds as weak as Dean feels. "Be more specific."

Through gritted teeth Dean asks, "Where is my brother?" 

Saying it out loud makes his empty stomach flip over. His little baby brother is hurt and captured somewhere because of Michael. 

Dean can't forgive this.

"Oh Dean." Michael tuts at him. He's patronizing him, treating him as if Dean is stupid. The way he treated Dean for all those years. 

"My Little Omega. Why would I? I have you exactly where I need you to be."

Dean has to grip the desktop tightly to keep himself from falling over. He is too light headed for this conversation.

"I knew that sooner or later my Omega would call me. I wish the circumstances were better, but you left me no choice. You pushed me into a corner, Dean." Michael sounds genuinely upset by the turn of events.

"How dare you trying to unmate me Dean? After everything I have done for you. Come back home immediately, before you do anything that cannot be reversed." 

Dean consciously breathes in, then out. Holds it for five seconds, before taking the next step.

"You did unspeakable things to me, Michael." Dean whispers after gathering his thoughts. "I can't forgive them. I can't forgive you."

Michael scoffs. "Will you quit being a child! This isn't child's play anymore, Dean. You stupid moron. I have your brother here, and my people are ready to do whatever I command them to do with him." 

Dean can't gulp down the breath stuck in his throat. Rage is seething under his skin. His blood is boiling with anger. 

"I could send you his hand if you like? Perhaps his sharp tongue so he might finally shut the hell up." Michael spits at him. "I could do anything." 

Dean is aware that Sams life is depending on this conversation. Castiels plan is depending on this conversation.

Which is a lot of pressure on one unstable hungry pregnant person.

Dean panics. 

"He's my first baby Michael. You can't do this to me."

"I will do to whatever I have to do to get you back where you belong." Micheal says sharply. "You are mine." 

"Have you ever loved me? Please, if you have- than don't do this to me." Dean begs into the phone desperately. Unable to keep his desperation at bay.

"You have to let him go, Michael." 

They both fall quiet for a moment. Both of them taking deep breaths so they could have a coherent conversation.

All the teasing has left Michaels tone when hw replies. "You are in no position to make demands, Dean. You have nothing to offer me." 

Dean bites back an impulsive reply. He reminds himself calmly of Castiels plan. 

He knows it's now or never. 

"I could give you a child." 

Michael halts, waits for more to come. But Dean doesn't elaborate any further.

"I don't just want any child, Dean." Michael says wistfully. "I want one with my dark hair and dreamy green eyes." 

Dean squeezes his eyes closed. "It's mine. I got a baby. That's why I ran." He lies.

It's a small lie. But not a far stretch from the truth. 

Which makes it believable. He hadn't been having sex with Michael for months before he ran. So Michael hadn’t seen him naked for a while. 

He'd been wearing sweatshirts and sweatpants, because he'd been feeling sick, but it could pass as pregnancy symptoms. 

It's a lie shocking enough that it has Michael stuttering.

"You had a baby. It- did it work? You had our baby." He's breathless and whispering. "Are you okay? The baby- boy? A boy or a girl? Did you give birth safely?"

Dean isn’t ready to think about giving birth, before he knows that the baby can be safely carried to term. 

"Yeah..." He lies. "We're okay. A little boy, with green eyes." 

Michael lets out a surprised gasp. His heart pouring into every word he spoke. "That's all I ever wanted. Everything."

Dean can practically hear Michael smiling. "That's amazing news Dean." 

Dean feels incredibly stupid for hinting the truth to Michael, but he promised Castiel to trust his plan. 

"The baby for Sam. We have a fair switch."

Michael is pulled out of his fantasy immediately. His voice back to business. "I don't want the baby to grow up without his Omega. You and my baby for Sam."

Dean grips the phone hard until his knuckles turn white. 

"Fine.” He grunts out against all of his instincts. 

"We meet in our house in Seattle. Tomorrow evening." Michael orders.

Dean shook his head. "I'm too far away from there. Our cabin in Klamath.” He doesn’t leave room for debate. “We do this at midnight."

"Fine." Michael deadpans. "You've gotten a mouth since you left. Don't you forget who the Alpha is. Who has your brother?"

"You do. You are the Alpha." Dean whispers and quietly wonders why he ever fell for this man. 

He's raging inside. 

"I'm YOUR Alpha, Dean. And you're coming home." Michael says smugly. "Meet my people inside the Cabin, I can't travel yet, so I will send someone else." 

Dean grabs an expensive pen from Crowleys desk and writes the information on his arm.

"Can you make it in that time frame?" Michael asks. 

Dean glances at the clock. It's 6 PM. Castiel had told Dean Friday evening, midnight that he would be in California to safe his brother.

He’d promised.

"I can... But I can't come alone."

Michael scoffs at him in disgust. "I don't care with whom you come. As long as you don’t struggle. I tell my men to only give Sam if you and the baby are coming with them, understood?"

Dean nods. “I understand. I guess, I’ll see you soon.”

“In a few hours you will be back where you belong. And we have a lot to talk about, Dean.” 

Dean cancels the call before he says anything that might ruin Castiels plan.

 

\- Sunday evening. Ansonia, Pennsylvania. 6:47 PM. 2008.

 

“Lucifer,” Castiel turns to his little brother playing with his legos on the cold kitcjen floor. “Will you go wake up dad for dinner?”

“Yes yes! Okay Cassie!” Lucifer scrambles up and runs up the stairs to wake up their father. 

Castiel watches him go with a strained smile. It’s been a tense week in the Novak house. Naomi had promised to be home right now, but she got caught up in business in Germany. She hasn’t been home in weeks.

Their father had been disappointed by her cancelation. He misses his wife. Especially because he had looked forward to seeing her again. He was too weak to travel along with her right now.

Anna and Alfie have their finals next week.

Raphael is going through a rough breakup with his longterm boyfriend. 

And besides all that, Castiel has announced that he is moving out. 

He finished high school a few months ago. He recently got an acceptance letter from several colleges. Which he is about to start college next semester at Harvard University. 

Far away from his little home town. 

It broke his fathers heart to see his favorite son grow up and spread his wings. 

So Castiel took it upon himself to cook his fathers favorite dish and make dinner, instead of their usual family chef. 

“Cassie, catch me!” Lucifer shrieks, while he comes running back into the kitchen and jumps into his brothers arms.

Castiel obediently catches him, but ends uo hugging him for a few moments, before ordering him to clear away his toys before dinner is served. 

Castiel puts the food on their plates and moves them to the kitchen table. Lucifer is already seated, Gabriel and Balthazar just come stumbling inside at the smell of dinner.

Castiel looks at Lucifer and notices their father hadn’t come down yet. “Had I not asked you to wake dad up?” He scolds his little brother.

Lucifer ducks his head into his shoulders. “He was so tired. Didn’t want to wake up.” He mumbles.

“I’ll go get him.” Gabriel sighs, before turning on his heel. 

Balthazar sits down next to Lucifer with a huff. He is hungry. “Smells good Castiel.”

Castiel pours them all a glass of water. But for his father some white wine. “I try my best.” He replies dryly.

“You’re a fucking ass licker though.” 

Castiel turns to him and glances at Lucifer pointedly. “Language you imbecile-”

Anna and Alfie come walking into the kitchen with their textbooks out. Not taking a break to learn for their college exams.

“Hello to you too.” Balthazar says sarcastically, earning a middle finger from Anna. 

Castiel is about to scold them for their explicit actions around 6 year old Lucifer, when Gabriel comes back into the room.

He’s wide eyed and pale.

Castiel frowns at him. “What is it?”

Gabriel blinks twice. He’s in complete shock. “H-how long has he- Castiel...” 

Castiels heart sinks. 

He’s been dreading this moment. Suddenly everyone is paying attention. Even Lucifer is quiet.

“What is it Gabe?” Balthazar asks gruffly, but Castiel is already halfway up the stairs. His knees shaking. 

Lucifer has tears streaming down his face. “I didn’t do anything! I found him like that.” 

Tears start leaking down Gabriels face as well. “He wouldn’t wake up.” 

\- 

“My terms and conditions are simple brother. I’ll do it for 50% of the company.” Gabriel smirks at him. His spine straight with confidence, because he knows Castiel doesn’t have any other options.

“That wasn’t the deal.” Castiel grunts out with an emotionless blank face. 

Gabriel has always been a smart relentless businessman, but usually he didn’t try his cruel tricks on family members.

“My men are ready to get Samuel Winchester into my custody, like I promised.” Gabriel assures Castiel. “I just need you to sign the contract that once Naomi gives you Angel Inc, you will co-own it with me.”

Castiel knows that Angel Inc isn’t worth Sam or Deans life.

It’s not a question if Castiel would do this for Sam, but the question was why Gabriel would demand such a thing of him.

He wonders if his brother is more cruel and less caring than he lets on most of the time.

“Fine.” Castiel agrees before Gabriel grows impatient.

He takes the pen and signs the very short piece of paper with the words Gabriel had just spoken. Nothing more than a few sentences. 

Gabriel looks pleased with himself, but his smile diminishes when he takes it Castiels facial expression. 

“Don’t start pouting now, Cassie. It’s for a good cause.” 

Castiel nods tensely. He knows he made the right decision. No matter how much it pained him to give away 50% of Angel Inc. At least it’s still within the family.

“Let’s get into my private jet and fly out to Cali. It’s much warmer there anyway.” Gabriel orders his driver to get to the airport. 

Castiel buckles up and prays to God that both Dean and Sam will pull through long enough for Castiel to make everything alright.

 

\- Saturday morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 1:06 AM.

 

Crowley is about to leave his office to get his usual 5 hours of sleep, but instead of exiting he gravitates towards Dean.

Dean is curled up in the chair. Biting his nails anxiously waiting for a phone call from Castiel. Who had promised to free Sam about an hour ago.

Crowley doesn’t actually work with patients anymore these days, but it’s heartbreaking to see the Omega so close to the edge of falling over. 

He decides he can’t leave Dean like this. Shaking and sickly in the office.

“Usually I keep myself busy promoting the clinic. Not working with patients like I used to.” He gets up and makes the two of them a cup of tea, Deans doesn’t get a teabag. Just hot water to warm up.

“How can you promote a secret business?” Dean mumbles tiredly. He leans his heavy head against his palm, propped up against the armrest. 

Crowley places the warm cups on his desk and sits back down.

“Well, I make contact with progressive doctors in legal hospitals whom can’t help Omegas due to the law, but they can reference them to me.” Crowley explains, before sipping at his tea.

“Drink some, it will warm you up.” 

Dean can barely lift the cup to his lips without some hot water spilling over the rim. He’s shivering too much.

“But, how can other Omegas pay for the treatment? I was lucky with Cas.” Dean retorts over the steaming mug.

Crowley hums. “You’re asking some very good questions.” He sips down another large gulp of tea before he answers. “Omegas can get a free treatment if they allow me to experiment new techniques on them.”

Deans eyes widen. “What?”

Crowley rolls his eyes. “Nothing harmful. Just small techniques that I want to try out to see if they work help purification. Liliths cure is good, but not flawless.” 

“So you just try new tricks on them?” Dean asks skeptically. “For how long?”

“For example we give them a different diet to try it out. Or we see if they heal well without Ash’s classes. Or if the mating mark operation is truly necessary.” Crowley puts down his empty mug. “Usually we experiment for about four weeks, then we give a free chemical divorce.” 

Dean is still slowly sipping at his hot water. Allowing his numb fingers to warm up. “I don’t think I could do this for over four weeks.”

Crowleys eyes soften, looking down at Deans belly. “I don’t experiment on pregnant Omegas for longer than two weeks.”

Dean shrugs. “Still. I’m not even sure if I can get to one week.”

“You underestimate yourself and the process.” Crowley tells him seriously. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but when you vomit, nothing comes out anymore?” 

Dean shook his head slowly. “Just dry heaving at this point.”

Crowley nods, satisfied. “Your face is probably soft as a baby. Your legs must be hairless by now. Your pee is as clear as water. You don’t have to poo anymore.”

Dean blushes.

“Meg probably wrote this all down by now, else she would have told me something was wrong.” Crowley tells him. “You’re coming along just fine. Just hold on the last few moments of the ride.”

Dean puts his tea down, closes his deep worried green eyes and lays a hand over his belly. It’s stretching skin is itching.

Crowley follows the sluggish movement of his hands with his eyes. 

“Castiel will call soon. Nothing has happened to him.” 

Deans eyes are still squeezed closed. “How do you know?” He asks spitefully with a frown.

“I’ve known Castiel for almost all my life now. I just know him. He wouldn’t let you down.”

Dean sighs tiredly, doubtfully. It’s been an hour since Sam should have been saved. “I sure hope so...” 

Crowley watches him quietly. He can’t help himself, but Dean is a remarkable creature. A strong jaw, a sturdy body with soft emerald green eyes and an extended baby bump. 

He knows it’s not just Deans good looks that have Castiels Alpha instincts in a twist.

“You remind him of his father, you know.”

Deans eyes shoot open again. Curiously he presses. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Crowley just shrugs. “In all the years I have known Castiel, he never dated anyone. Never had a crush. Never cared to share someone with his family or ‘friends’. Then you come along. Dean Winchester. Mated, pregnant and a fugitive. The least easy person for an Alpha to woo.” 

Crowley leans forward and takes all of Dean in. 

“But one different thing about you is that you are so much like Mr.Novak. It draws Castiel to you. He used to be a daddy’s boy. No wonder he is looking for a similar sort of love in a partner.” 

Dean struggles to keep his eyes open. His speech is slurred, but he wants to speak. 

“Why are you telling me this?” He mumbles as coherently he possibly could. The room is spinning and his head is light. 

Crowley gets up to buzz Meg into his office to take Dean to bed. Enough is enough.

“Because Castiel would do anything for a chance to make up for what happened to his father.” 

Crowley watched slowly Dean pass out cold before he could ask the next crucial question. 

He would have to help Meg carry him to his bed.

 

\- Saturday morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 10:49 AM.

 

“Can you bow your head forward for me, Dean?” 

Dean obeys and bends his neck down as far as he can, while Meg rinses the red shampoo out of his hair.

“Thank you, hon.” 

She gently massages his scalp. Not caring that her clothes are getting wet because of the bath water.

Dean hadn’t smelled very fresh in the morning, so Meg had dragged him to the tub to rinse. 

“You already smell a lot better now.” She praises him while scrubbing his skin with a washcloth.

They’d done it before, Meg didn’t care for nudity and Dean was too deep into his own mind to care about Megs judgement.

In the morning she found Dean sobbing in his bed unable to get up himself, before she dragged him to the tub. 

He is unsurprisingly upset Castiel or Sam still haven’t contacted him yet. 

She tries to console and shush him. Silent tears are streaming down his face, because he can’t muster the energy for a panic attack. At this point he is too weak to move himself. He is laying on his side in the tub to keep himself upright. 

He’s growing weak very quickly. The divorce was hopefully coming to an end soon, because Meg doubts he would last another three days.

Gently, she cleans the underside of his belly where she feels the baby move slowly. Sluggish like their father.

Meg bites her lip and tries to catch Deans eye, but they’re downcast and filled with unshed tears.

She keeps her voice low and soothing. “How are you feeling?” 

Dean can’t even get his body to shrug at her question. His mind is racing with possibilities of what might have happened to Sam and Castiel. 

Michael isn’t someone they should have underestimated. 

Dean should have asked Castiel what the full details of the plan were. Dean knows Michael better than anyone, he would have been able to pick out small mistakes in the plan. 

“Dean?” Meg asks again with a serious face. Her hands stilling on his water slick body. 

Dean closes his eyes and bites his lip to keep the wrecking sobs at bay.

“Everyone leaves me.”

Meg sighs and leans down to play with the strands of his hair in a soothing motion.

Dean keeps crying. “Nobody is left. Michael took all of them away from me.” 

He is shaking despite the hot water. He feels hollow and numb. He hadn’t expected Castiel to not succeed. He hadn’t thought of it as a possibility, because the Alpha had sounded so sure.

“I don’t know what to do.” Dean admits through the pain. 

Meg reaches for his wet hand, and he clamps down on hers, desperate for support. 

“You’ll be fine, Dean. You will.”

Dean curls in on himself in the small space of the tub. He shook his head.

“The baby is getting weak. I’m going to go lose her if I go on like this.” 

Meg scoffs at him. “Don’t say that. I’ll make sure that won’t happen, alright?” 

Dean shakes his head. 

He is done accepting empty promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s 3 AM you guys are welcome.  
> Ps I have exams rn so I literally am sorry but updates for like next week might come in lower word count or later.  
> Please please please let me knkw what you think of the chapter! I love comments leave a comment for your very tired college girl


	9. Part 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sams rescue mission gets an uneasy twist. Dean wonders how long he can hold on, before the world becomes too much for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Sam be saved? Will everyone return home? Will Dean survive another day in Crowleys clinic? Will everyone survive this chapter?
> 
> THANK YOU FOR STILL READING

"I don't suppose you want me to kill Michael Smith?" 

Gabriel doesn't look as anxious as Castiel feels. His tone is overly casual compared to the nervous tapping of Castiels feet.

They're in one of Gabriels cars outside the large wooden cabin. Waiting for Gabriels minions to release Sam and get rid of Michaels men. Castiel doesn't care how. He only knows that they couldn't leave any witnesses. 

Gabriel had reassured him that he'd brought enough people to take down Michaels team, but Castiel still feels anxious for both Sam and Deans sake. 

"Cassie, are you with me?" Gabriel waves a hand in front of Castiels face to grab his attention. 

Castiel hums absently, still peeking through the car window to check if there was any movement inside the cabin. "Hmm?" 

Gabriel snorts and shakes his head fondly. "That Omega really got a hold on you, little brother." 

Castiels cheeks would have turned red with embarrassment if he wasn't so worried for the lives outside the house. 

"Yeah..." He admits softly. Dean has him tightly wrapped around his finger. 

Gabriels eyes soften as well. "I asked, if you want me to end Michael Smiths life? As a good brother in law would."

Castiel stares at Gabriel. It's a tempting proposal. 

It really is. 

Dean is not the person he could have been if Michael hadn't come along. Dean might think he isn't his own person. That he has no personality. But Castiel knows that that's a lie. 

Because every thick layer of protection against pain and abuse Dean has build over the years is slowly peeling off. Castiel can see bursts of goofiness, sass, curiosity and occasional cockiness through Deans shy posture. 

All of which Michael had suppressed during their relationship. He did everything he could to make Dean into an air headed, barefoot in the kitchen, stay at home Omega. 

Michael doesn't deserve to be forgiven. Or to be cared for.

"No..." Castiel sighs and hesitates, his eyes dropping only for a moment to his lap. 

He thinks about it again. 

Really thinks about it...

Michael had courted 16 year old Dean at the age of 32. He'd mated the Omega in the same year. The idea makes Castiels blood boil with rage.

Michael Smith a pervert, if not a pedophile. 

Maybe if Micheal was killed and it looked like a convincing accident- 

"No." His tone is more firm than the first time. "Dean wouldn't like that." 

"He kidnapped Deans little brother. If someone kidnapped you, I'd want them dead." Gabriel says with a shrug. 

Castiels heart warms a little at the statement. Even though he hopes it would never be necessary. He never liked the dark side of Gabriels business. Or Crowleys for the matter. Castiel usually follows the law. 

Even though he knows it's an unfair law.

Castiel shakes his head. "Dean would feel guilty. He might not love Michael anymore, but for some twisted reason Dean still feels a certain responsibility if he got harmed because of Dean." 

"Dean doesn't have to know. I prefer having as little people involved as possible anyway." Gabriel says with a frown on his face. "Secrecy is the key to stay successful in this line of business." 

"Illegal business." Castiel murmurs under his breath. 

Gabriel clicks his tongue. "We safe people, that's a good thing. Secrecy is just to ensure we can continue doing our job in peace. I don't want to end up like good ol' Crowley." 

Castiel shook his head. "We won't end up like Crowley." 

Even Crowley once was respectable man. With a lot of money and prestige, before his side business got discovered by the authorities. After which he had been forced to stop or go completely underground.

Crowley had done many good things for Omegas, but he had gotten too confident and reckless towards the end.

The wrong person had heard that Doctor Crowley was giving chemical divorces to Omegas without the right paperwork from their Alphas. 

The lawsuit that followed had stripped Crowley off most of his hard earned money. From years upon years of working in the medical field. 

Castiel had been proud of his 'friend's dedication to help Omegas. He's just as proud of Gabriel for using his power and money to help people less fortunate. 

Like Sam Winchester. 

Castiel never asked about the details of Gabriels side business. Secrecy is the key after all. Castiel never wanted to be a part of it, but he's still glad for it. People like Crowley and Gabriel are needed in times that the legal system didn't do all citizens justice.

Besides, by running away with Dean, Castiel got into his own illegal mess while trying to help someone out like a good Christian should. 

Of course within hours he'd been wanted by the police and on the news... So much for secrecy.

"If the legal system fails to prosecute him, you have my permission to end his life." Castiel decides to say after a long stretch of silence in the car. "Dean can't be free with that man around."

Gabriel scans him down thoughtfully. He'd never seen Castiel act in such a way. Caring with an aura of nervous energy. 

"You can count on me, little brother." He replies solemnly.

Castiel narrows his eyes at him. "I won't give up the other half of the company, though." It's a lie. He most definitely would if it meant keeping Dean safe, but Gabriel doesn't have to know that. 

Gabriels face almost looks apologetic. Almost. "I did what I had to do, Cassie. Mother has never favored me. I needed to assure my place in the company."

Castiel scoffs. "Oh please. As if I would fire you after I'd take over."

"You could." Gabriel says dismissively. "It's an option."

"You're the CEO of Medical technology!" Castiel all but yells, startling the driver in the front seat. "Nobody could replace you-" 

Then, they hear a shout from outside the car.

Both of their necks twist to watch what's going on inside the cabin.

It's dark and foggy night, but both of them really can't see anything move outside.

"What the hell is-" 

The lights inside the cabin turn on. Gabriels men are spread out inside the house, but some are also hiding around the cabin and by the car.

Castiel feels his heart beat out of his chest. He's shaking with anticipation. 

They see a black expensive van driving onto the property. The windows of the car are two way mirrors, just like Gabriels car.

"Must be Sam." Gabriel murmurs, both the brothers are peering out of the window. Gabriel practically in Castiels lap to get a better look. 

Castiel is too anxious and can't get himself comment on it. 

They watch two big muscled men step out of the van. The driver stays inside with a sour look on his face. 

The two men cautiously look around, unable to spot Gabriels hidden men, while making their way to the back of the van. They only see two silhouettes of Gabriels men inside the cabin. They were picked specifically to be the ones to show themselves. They're smaller and look less threatening. 

Gabriels ten other men were tougher. Hiding behind bushes and furniture to overpower Michaels people when it was time.

Castiel holds his breath. He knows that Gabriels people will wait until Sam is out of the van before making a move. 

The two men open the backdoor of the van and drag a tall shaking figure out of it. 

Sam is gagged and blindfolded. He's shaking from head to toe. His arms are tied behind his back in a very uncomfortable manner.

The two men roughly manhandle Sam towards the front door. 

Gabriel sucks in a deep breath, still practically in Castiels lap. "That's Winchester. It's gonna happen."

That exact moment two people jump from under the porch and attack Michaels men.

They let go of a shrieking Sam, who upon release immediately bolds towards the freeway. His body stiff and awkward, but he is determined to get away.

One of Michaels men is knocked on the head and immediately passes out. The other one is fighting for his life, punching and kicking at his attackers.

More of Gabriels people leave their hiding spots to get the aggressive man down. Two others go after Sam to unbind him. 

They reach him quickly, because he hadn't gotten very far while blinded and bound, Sam sputters and protests when he gets grabbed from behind, until he feels them release his hands and uncover his dazed eyes.

The man on the porch is chocked until he doesn't move anymore. Castiel isn't sure whether he is dead or just unconscious.

The rest of Gabriels men slowly gather around the two bodies and a flustered Sam. 

Castiels eyes are wide with relief. He opens the car door to talk to Sam.

Gabriel pulls on his sweater to get him back inside, but Castiel sees almost childlike fear in Sams shocked eyes. He's afraid and doesn't see any familiar faces. Or hear familiar names from Gabriels men.

"Sam!" Castiel pulls away from Gabriels tugging and jogs over to the tall man. He's on the ground, shaking with nerves and adrenaline.

Sams eyes go wide when he sees Castiel exit the car. He gets up from the cold ground and ignores the other people talking to him in reassuring voices. 

"Is Dean here?!" 

Castiel is almost by his side, when a loud shot rings through the air. 

Every head on the premises turns to the van, where Michaels driver had opened the glass window and just fired a large black gun. 

Except for Castiel. His head twists down to see a red pool of blood through his sweater. Rapidly growing bigger in size.

Castiels eyes go wide. 

It takes three seconds to realize it is him who took the bullet. He can't move at all. 

Even though it should hurt, he can't feel any pain. His systems are immediately shut down. 

He might vaguely hear people call out his name, but the echo of the gun shot has left a deafening high pitched ringing in his ears. 

Someone presses a hand to his side against the wound and helps him to lay flat on the ground. Castiel can't tell who it is, because his eyes rolled back into his head. 

He can't generate the energy to reopen them. 

The first shot is followed by several more loud shots. But Castiel can't register anything. Not any pain or his surroundings.

"Shit. Hold up buddy." Someone orders him directly into his ear. The hand presses harder against the gun wound. "Jesus Christ!" 

Castiel feels his sweater become hot and wet, before his world behind his eyelids turns pitch black and peacefully quiet.

 

\- Monday morning Crowleys laundromat, New York. 11:15 AM.

 

It took two more days before Dean stopped feeling anything. 

Meg had reassured him that it was natural for his body to partly shut down in order to deal with starvation.

Dean can't decide whether his body weights 10.000 pounds or if it's light as a feather. All he knows is that he isn't mobile anymore.

His head is foggy and he dozes though his appointments and conversations. 

Nobody mentions Castiel or Sam to Dean, because there is no news. 

Something about his situation makes Dean feel almost blissful. 

It's been two days since he should have gotten a call from Castiel that he had successfully freed Sam from Michaels people. 

Something has gone terribly wrong. But Dean couldn't quite wrap his head around reality anymore in his current (almost) vegetive state. 

Meg feeds him thrice a day. He sucks the juice out of the lemons and nibbles on the skin for hours, dragging it out until his next meal. 

He obediently takes his cocktail of secret vitamins and herbs Crowley prescribes him. 

Meg applies face masks to his already smoothened skin. All pores and small blemishes have been erased over the past days.

Meg puts an earthy scented lotion over his entire body against the dryness of his skin. She brushes his teeth with homemade toothpaste. She grooms his hair and combs it neatly.

"Any day now." Meg whispers into his ear, after a colon cleansing procedure that should have been uncomfortable, he barely even noticed happening. "You're almost there. I know it."

Dean wonders how he would even notice being divorced while he's in such a state. He thinks he might not even feel the difference between divorced and mated if he's continuously wondering whether he's dreaming or if it's reality.

He feels like he's floating through the day. Barely aware of his surroundings. 

At this point Dean can't barely sit upright, so when Ash comes in for a private season he manhandles Dean to lay on his side. 

Ash massages his neck while ordering Dean when to breathe in and how long to hold it. 

Meg whispers soothing words while rubbing his growing belly. She quietly breathes along with Ash's instructions. She keeps up much better than Dean, who keeps drifting off every few minutes. 

He thinks the massage and attention must have felt nice if he wasn't so out of it. He also thinks that if he was more aware of his current state he'd probably be completely panicked. 

Dean is once more helpless and subdued.

Depended on the care of others. Just as he has been with Michael. 

"Shit..." Dean mumbles absently, while he tries to sit upright and asses the situation. But his eyelids are heavily closed while the two nurses touch him gently. He can't move an inch.

Meg shushes him. "It's all fine, Dean. Save your energy. We take the wheel for now." 

He should be protesting, but it's hard to think straight without his brain working and Ash giving him mind numbing directions directly into his ear.

"Take a deep breath in, Dean." 

Dean bites his lip nervously. He knows that sooner or later bad news about his brother and Castiel will come out, but he isn't even sure if he'll be able to comprehend any new information by then.

 

\- Sunday morning. Gabriels bunker, California. 3:07 AM. 

 

Sams must have washed his hands over a hundred times in the past few hours. 

He can't help but feel the texture thick warm blood on his completely clean hands every time his mind wonders over to the night Gabriel saved him.

Sam has seen blood in movies. He's killed people in video-games, but watching someone get shot in front of him really wasn't something he was prepared for. 

He shouldn't have to care, because he barely knows Castiel Novak. At first Sam had even thought that in some twisted way Castiel was working with Michael, trying to scare Dean. 

Sam had gone through a (very short) phase of believing that Castiel had kidnapped his older brother, like Michael was proposing in the news. Sam had also at a later point believed that Castiel had persuaded Dean into submission. 

But since Castiel had assembled an entire rescue team to save Sam, seeing the man getting shot felt heart wrenching for Sam. 

He's also quite sure Dean has a crush on him. If Castiel dies, Dean would probably be crushed. 

"Gabriel." 

Sam watches the tired man look up at him slowly. They've been hiding out in a secret bunker Gabriel built for emergencies. 

A doctor has been working on Castiel for a long while, but neither of the Betas has left their post right outside the makeshift operation room. 

"What is it?" Gabriel grumbles under his breath, his throat raw from yelling for hours, trying to get his people to drive to the bunker faster and work to safe his brother faster.

Sams body is still stiff from the tight bindings, but beside that he hadn't been touched or physically abused during his captivity. Michael must have told his men to keep Sam unharmed to please Dean. 

Michael must regret that now.

"What's next?" He shuffles his feet nervously. He knows Gabriel doesn't care about his ass. Gabriel is doing the rescue mission for Castiel. Castiel is doing it for Dean. Sam isn't even a small part of why Gabriel has saved him. 

Gabriel, though upset and tired, takes pity on Sam. They sit next to one another, so Gabriel can easily lay a hand on his shoulder. 

"I promised Cas I'd look after you and your brother. I don't know what the doctor is going to tell us, but I intend to keep my promises." Gabriel tells him in a low serious tone.

Sam feels warmth spread from where Gabriel is touching him to the rest of his rigid body. It's been days since he's been physically touched out of kindness. He feels touch deprived. 

"What does that mean?" He asks, because he needs to know. He hates not knowing. 

For days he'd been stuck in a dark room. Someone fed him. Helped him pee and lay down to sleep. He hadn't known what to expect. If Michael was going to kill him if blackmailing didn't work. 

Sam didn't want Dean to give up his location to Michael. But Sam certainly didn't want to die either.

"It means that I'll let you stay in my secure apartment in San Francisco. Close to your job. I'll also have a bodyguard with you disguised as an intern, to keep you safe if Michael gets any ideas." Gabriel takes back his hand and Sam immediately misses the contact.

His cheeks flush at the low whine that comes out of his throat. He wants to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment, but Gabriel doesn't make a comment on it. 

Gabriel is usually quick witted, but his brother has been shot and hasn't slept in over 28 hours. 

"If Michael is an intelligent man, he won't try anything for a while. But angry Alphas work on impulse and enjoying taking revenge." Gabriel says instead. He doesn't sugarcoat the situation.

Sam frowns at him. "Why would he care so much for losing me? It's not like I'll go to the police, because that would expose you too." 

Gabriel winces rubs his sweaty palms over his black pants. "Dean proposed a deal to him. He frees you, safe and sound. In exchange for a baby. Dean lied and told Michael that he had given birth to their kid." 

Sams eyes go wide in shock. He shouldn't be surprised Dean had lied for him. Dean used to have the annoying habit of putting Sam first in the most ridiculous situations when they were kids.

Sam also knows that Dean and a child were the only things tempting enough to lure Michael into a trap.

But it's a dangerous lie. Michael is aggressively unstable and harms people when he feels threatened.  

Revenge might as well be his middle name.

"That man is a completely psycho." Suddenly, Sams mood swings away from anxious and he is angry. His teeth grind together as he utters out, "He killed my dog. He let him slowly bleed to death. The little guy died all alone." 

Gabriel shouldn't care about some pet while his brother is getting a bullet removed from his side, but frankly, Gabriel does care. 

"That pig." He spits out with an equal amount of rage. "Who stoops that low?" 

Sam shakes his head. He doesn't know how Michael can sleep at night. "That man is still legally and physically bound to my pregnant brother." 

It angers him to know that if the police got to Dean before he was chemically divorced or filled the legal papers for an abuse case, the authorities would deliver him right back into Michaels arms. 

Gabriel feels something inside him twist while he watches Sam. He imagines what he would do if one of his siblings were in the same situation. What he would do to their spouses.

"Killing three of his men wasn't enough. I won't stop supporting you and your brother until Michael is taken care of." 

He doesn't know why he promises this. Usually he doesn't do charity. He even lets his siblings pay him back in some form for his services.

But he can't ask anything of Sam Winchester. A simple school teacher, recently kidnapped and anxious to know how his brother is doing. 

"Thank you, Gabe. That means a lot me." The nickname rolls off his tongue easily. He doesn't quite smile at Gabriel, but his eyes are shining with gratitude.

"My pleasure." Gabriel utters tiredly. "As soon as we have news from the doctor. I'll make sure someone finds Crowleys new phone number to contact your brother."

Sams eyes go wide with shock once more. "Crowley? As in-"

"Yeah." Gabriel sinks back into his chair and rubs his forehead. This day has been going on for way too long. "That Crowley."

"What's Dean doing with him? Last I heard he," 

Gabriel closes his eyes, but he answers all of Sams eager questions about Crowley, he shares whatever Castiel told about his adventure with Dean and all the things Gabriel has heard about chemical divorces. 

For a moment it take his and Sams mind off Castiels pale body and seeping wound.

 

\- Tuesday morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 2:17 AM.

 

When a tall dark figure wakes Dean in the middle of the night, he assumes the worst.

Dean can't quite focus his eyes, especially not in the dark, but the black dressed man hanging over his bed could only be one person.

Death.

"Not yet." Dean whispers weakly, squeezing his eyes closed again. 

He curls around his body tighter. Puts a protective hand over his belly where the baby is still alive. Still kicking despite Dean immobility. 

It takes all of his energy to speak up again. "Please. Not yet." He begs the figure persistently shaking his shoulder. 

His baby isn't born yet. She doesn't have a godparent that could look after her when Dean passes away. Except Michael. 

But that can't be an option.

"I'm not ready." He whimpers pathetically. 

"Dammit Dean." Death is becoming fed up with him. He jostles Dean even harder, but when that doesn't work he turns on the lights.

The red behind Deans eyelids could be hell, but Dean boldly assumes that it's not, because he still feels unbearably cold. He still feels his baby roll around contently. 

Dean tentatively peeks at his surroundings, and tries to understand why Death looks suspiciously much like Crowley.

"Are you with me, Dean?" 

Dean blinks twice slowly. Death doesn't just look like Crowley, but he is Crowley. 

Deans heartbeat slows down a little. He hadn't been particularly nervous about dying. With Castiel and Sam gone, the only thing he would miss when he died would be his baby. 

Despite all that, his subconscious wasn't quite ready to let go of life yet. 

"Dean?" Crowley asks again. 

Dean tries to gulp down the lump in his throat, but he hasn't been producing many body fluids lately. Including saliva.

Then he finally notices Crowley is sweating. His usually proud frame is hunched over and shaking. 

"Yeah?" Dean croaks out through his sore throat. Something must be terribly wrong. He knows by the slightly blurred but obviously concerned expression on Crowleys face.

"Your brother is safe." 

A moment of silence follows in which Dean tries to comprehend the news.

He fights through the blissful fog in his head. He doesn't know what day it is or how long he has been waiting for Sam to call, but to know he is alright warms Deans body in a way a million blankets couldn't.

His face shifts into an easy smile. "Sammy is safe." His voice is barely above a whisper, but Crowley must have heard him, because he nods.

"Gabriel will be looking after him. You can call him in the morning whenever you're awake." Crowley says gruffly, rubbing his hands against his dark scrubs.

The movement reminds Dean of the concern in his eyes and he finally sees the blood on Crowleys gloved fingers. 

"What 'bout Cas?"

Crowleys eyes dart back and forth between his hands and Dean. 

“I’ve done everything I could for him.” He states. “I hope it’s enough.”

Dean tries to sit up and make sense of what is being said. His arms are shaking under his weight. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Crowley lays a hand on Deans shoulder. He doesn’t have the energy to shrug the doctor off. 

“Don’t panic. You’re very weak right now. And the baby-”

Dean immediately interrupts him. “Just tell me.” His vision swims because Crowley stands so close. 

The smell of blood is coming off of Crowley in thick waves. Dean almost gags at the scent.

“While saving Sam, Castiel got hit by a bullet.” 

Dean blinks up at him blankly. 

So Crowley tries again. “Castiel was shot by one of Michaels people. Someone patched him up and Gabriel send him over to me, to see if I can do more.” 

It dawns on Dean. 

Castiel has been shot because he tried to save Sam for Dean.

“Oh no...” Is all he can say before he dry heaves in his lap. The smell of blood became too overwhelming.

The smell of Castiels blood that is.

“Stable wouldn’t be the word for it, but he is alive and he has stopped bleeding. The bullet is out of his side.” Awkwardly he comforts Dean by patting his shoulder.

“You can come see him in the morning.” Crowley promises with a faux smile. He really needs to get some sleep. He has been up since Gabriel called and warned him that Castiel is being delivered in a critical condition. 

Dean struggles to look Crowley in the eye while everything he sees is a blur, but he tries anyway. “I will see him now.” 

Crowley groans. “You need rest. He needs rest.” 

Deans scowl isn’t impressive as much as it is sad. “Right now.”

“I need rest too!” Crowley steps back to buzz Meg in with the purple button. He knows that Dean Winchester is a stubborn little omega. Whether he is too sick to walk or not.

“Please.” Dean draws the word out and pouts impressively convincingly. 

Crowley isn’t cruel. He’s just tired. 

“Fine. Meg will bring you.” 

Dean can’t look happy as for now. But he seems grateful and Crowley settles for that. 

 

\- ? 

 

Castiel wakes up very slowly. 

He doesn't remember falling asleep. But everything is quiet, warm and blissful when he regains consciousnesses. 

There is a heavy weight on his chest and another warm presence against his side.

Castiel has a vague memory of that exact same spot bleeding. It's supposed to hurt, at least a little bit. 

But there isn't even a trace of warm blood or injury when he opens his heavy eyelids.

His arm is wrapped around a child pressed against his chest. 

Her eyes are closed with sleep, but her facial features are a direct copy of Deans face. Her cheeks are round and chubby. Her little nose has freckles sprinkled all over it.

Castiels hand looks enormous where it rests on her back. She looks comfortable curled up against his stomach. 

Even though she drools on his shirt, he feels at peace. 

"You're awake." 

Castiel turns his head towards the warm presence against his side. 

It's Dean, with a lazy smile on his face. He's barely awake, but he leans up to place a kiss on Castiels slack lips. 

He looks almost the same as the last time he saw Dean in Crowleys clinic. But his smile is a little brighter, his belly a bit larger, his cheeks slightly more chubby and he’s happy. 

Castiel looks down at him in wonder. He’s confused about how he got here. 

It feels like a dream. 

"Good morning, Babe." Dean whispers, mindful of the sleeping child against Castiels chest. "How'd you sleep?"

Castiel glances further down to see Dean absently rub a hand on his big round belly. He's only wearing a thin white tank top. 

Castiel can see the baby move underneath the fabric. Dean tries to soothe it by gently stroking the spot. 

"Cas, are you okay?" 

Castiel blinks down at him. Something is terribly wrong. 

"Weird dream." Castiel decides to say, but his voice is gruff with emotion. 

There's a beautiful little girl with dark hair on his chest and his healthy pregnant omega against his side. He should be in pain, but instead he is living a lucid dream.

He wonders if the bullet has killed him.

"You're so quiet." Dean whispers, before snuggling closer to the Alpha. His belly firmly pressed against Castiels side and his hand on top of Castiels on their daughter. 

Dean is warm and smells delicious, even more than usually. Their daughter is a perfect copy of Deans sweet natural scent. 

"I'm not sure what's going on." Castiel admits softly, while he savors the tender feeling of Dean kissing his neck. 

He doesn't want this to end. It's exactly what he imagines heaven to look like. 

"You haven't secretly been drinking now, have you, Alpha?" Dean snickers at Castiels confused face. 

Castiel hesitates before answering. "No..." This might be an alternative reality, but he isn't known for drinking his problems away. 

"I don't know what day it is." He decides to add, because he can't freak out because he feels strangely calm. But he doesn't want Dean to worry. Not while he's so pregnant and relaxed. 

Dean pulls his head away from Castiels neck and slowly shifts to his side. One hand under is belly to get into position with a prominent huff. 

"You're so weird sometimes. You know that right?" But he's smiling fondly at the Alpha. "It's the twelfth. You took the day off, because you wanted to help me decorate." 

Castiel blinks dumbly. The twelfth doesn’t explain the toddler against his chest, the reason why Dean smells like ‘mate’, what room they are sleeping in and what year it is. 

Deans smile morphs into a frown. "Oh babe, are you coming down with something?" 

He reaches out to touch Castiels forehead to check whether he is sporting a fever or not. 

"Tomorrow is Sal’s birthday." 

Castiel winces awkwardly. “Oh... yeah.” 

Dean slowly slides out of the bed. He’s slow and cups a hand under his belly while he lifts himself up. 

But instead of becoming angry at Castiel, he leans over to tug Castiel under the blanket. Dean gently lifts the toddler off his chest and places her on his lip.

She lets out a small sigh, but doesn’t wake up after nuzzling her face into Deans neck.

Dean smiles down at Castiel. “You’ve been working way too much lately. Soon you’ll be sick.” 

Just to be sure, Castiel presses a hand to his side where the bullet had penetrated him. 

He doesn’t feel anything. There is no scar tissue. Not even under his shirt. 

He looks back up at Dean and Castiels heart swells with love. It’s so overwhelming that his eyes water. 

“You look beautiful like that.” Castiel comments quietly. 

Dean stops rocking the little girl and stares back. “Like what?” 

Castiel shrugs with a smile he can’t hold back. “Taking care of our child. Pregnant and smiling.” 

Dean scoffs and rolls his eyes, but his cheeks have a pink shade to it. “Get some sleep, you Alpha sap. Don’t get sick. I need your help to decorate later.”

Castiel lets Dean fluff up his pillow and kiss his cheek as if nothing is wrong. As if Castiel is supposed to be there. 

“Sleep.” 

 

\- Tuesday Morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 2:27 AM.

 

Even though Dean is one step away from being delirious, he is positive that he’s never been in this part of the clinic before.

Meg is pushing his wheelchair towards the hospital/recovery wing of the clinic. 

She’s tired and walks slowly, but still takes the time to explain Dean what’s going on. Even though he’s too hyped and anxious to reply.

“When an Omega doesn’t make it to the end, we help them recover in this section.” 

Two walls are lined up with countless beds with coughing and groaning stick figures on it, by Deans left. He can’t look at them for a long time. They’re sickly and weaker than even himself.

“Nursing them back to health isn’t easy when they’ve gone through the process for nothing. Their spirits are broken. It’s less than 20% of our patients, but it’s still a lot.” 

Dean vaguely hopes he won’t ever end up in this place. He doesn’t want this to be for nothing. At the back of his head he thinks that he doesn’t want to be with Michael anymore. 

But it’s a difficult thing to think about while he’s so dizzy and anxious. 

“Here we have our happy people.” Meg turns the corner and enters a larger room with Omegas buzzing around. Talking, sitting upright and eating.

Eating. 

Dean blinks widely at the food. Solid foods. Meat and greens he never thought he could miss. 

Suddenly he understands why Meg gave him a mouth cap with herbs that covered his nose and mouth. The scent would have made him go crazy. His mouth already watered at the sight of the turkey sandwich in an omegas hand. 

“Yeah, I know.” Meg whispers while rolling Dean a little faster towards the end of the hallway. “It’s unfair now, but you’ll get there.” 

Dean doubts her words full heartedly. He has to close his eyes when they stroll too quickly and he becomes nauseous. 

He takes a moment to think about Sam. He wonders if he got injured as well.

“Do you know how Sammy’s doing?” He asks Meg, because Crowley is off washing his hands and changing his clothes. Done for the day. 

“I heard he was saved and alive. That’s all.” Meg opens the next door by typing in a long digital code. 

“We’re here.” She whispers and rolls him inside the white room. The sound of machines pumping and peeping immediately fills his ears. 

His head aches more at the dizzying sounds crossing one another, but he can’t complain. 

There are only three beds in the room. Two are occupied. Dean can immediately identify Castiel, no matter how delirious he feels. 

When he takes the cap off his face, the smell is unmistakable too. A faint scent of blood, cooling sweat and something that’s purely Castiel.

“Oh fuck.” 

Meg shushes him and wheels him over to Castiels side. 

It’s an uneasy task to get Dean to lean forward after lowering Castiels bed, but he can (barely) support his upper body weight with his elbows on Castiels bed. 

“Cas... Shit. He looks very bad.” Dean whimpers before caressing Castiels unhealthily yellow and pale faced.

His under eyes are dully black. His lips are dried and broken. His side is patched with bandaids. His arm is attached to an IV drip. 

Dean bites his lip to gain composure. The world feels awfully clear and less blissful now that he has something solid to focus on.

“Crowley did what he could. He just has to wake up now.” Meg lays a hand on Deans shoulder to show her support. “Crowley said he was already stabilized before they brought him here.” 

Dean caresses the stubbles on Castiels chin. His eyes are rolling behind his eyelids as if he’s vividly dreaming. 

Not dead.

With his free hand, Dean lays a hand on his stomach. The baby is still there. 

Sam is also alive and safe for as far as Dean has been told. 

Castiel is back within arm length and smells distressed, sweaty, but very much alive. 

“He’s alive.” 

Meg nods even though Dean has his back turned to her. “Yes he is. So is Sam and so are you. Everything will be alright.”

Dean is still skeptical about that. Castiel looks horribly sick. He doesn’t believe Sam is alive and well until Dean can actually speak to him and Dean feels like he’s hanging of a very thin thread himself.

“I don’t want to say I told you so, but I told you so.” Meg snickers and pulls back from him. “Let me grab you a blanket and some water. I suppose you want to stay here for a bit?” 

Dean slowly and carefully turns his head towards her so his head doesn’t spin. “Yeah. Thanks Meg.” 

He hopes his eyes are more grateful than tired. Because he feels like collapsing half on top of Castiels bed and his bottom half in his wheelchair by the time she leaves them alone. 

 

\- ?

 

“Papa looks horrible!” 

Dean snorts from his seat at the dinner table, a spoon halfway into his daughters mouth before she saw Castiel stalking into the kitchen. 

“You don’t say that to people.” Dean scolds her while filling her mouth with the yogurt. “That’s mean.”

Sal chews and crosses her arms. “But it’s true.”

Dean glances back at Castiel, who’s frozen in the doorway with a strange expression on his face. 

He’s disoriented and pale. Growing the slightest shadow of a beard. His clothes are rumpled with sleep. 

“She isn’t supposed to say that, but she’s sort of right.” Dean comments while gesturing for Castiel to step forward.

“I don’t bite, you know.” He jokes, before getting up to kiss the Alpha. While Salona grabs the spoon and continues to feed herself. 

Castiel closes his eyes to savor the feeling of Deans soft lips against his own. It feels oddly familiar for something he’s just done for the second time around.

When Dean is about to step back, Castiel has his hands on the Omegas hips to keep him close. He captures Deans lips once more, because he’s afraid that it’ll all disappear soon. 

“Keep it down for Sal, tiger.” Dean snorts, before forcefully leaning back to glance at the little girl. “We’ve been having a bit of an attitude issue this morning.”

Castiel is still touching him and Dean is completely comfortable with their connection. He inhales their deep intertwined scents contently. 

“No!” Sal shrieks while kicking her feet out with a cheeky grin. “I don’t have attitude. Daddy is grumpy because of the baby.” 

Deans mouth drops open and he stares down at her in disbelief. “Who told you that?” 

Castiel is afraid she might point at him with her sticky fingers, but she continues to laugh until she admits. “Uncle Sammy.” 

Dean scoffs with a blush on his face. “Well, uncle sammy is in so much trouble right now.” He turns to Castiel for support, but neither of them can hold their laughter. 

Castiels heart is filled with a warmth he’s only felt around his father when he was a child himself. 

He doesn’t want this to end.

 

\- Tuesday Morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 8:53 AM.

 

The next morning, while Dean is sucking on his morning melon slices he becomes too weak to keep sitting upright in the wheelchair.

Two large nurses in purple help him into the bed next to Castiel. He’s placed against the uninjured side of the Alpha’s body. 

Castiel hasn’t stirred yet, but Crowley promises that it doesn’t have to be bad news. The body is recovering. It needs time to rest.

Dean only has one problem. He doesn’t have much time left. 

He grows weaker by the minute. Every time he believes he’s hit rock bottom he shuts further down, or he grows even weaker and slower. 

His default setting is slumbering, one hand intertwined with Castiels cold fingers and another one on his swollen bump. The baby is unhappy and hungry, but Dean doesn’t have the energy to comfort his child.

Ash breathes with him. Meg washes him and keeps him alive. 

He has small bursts of energy a few minutes after a meal, so they schedule the call with Sam immediately after dinner. 

The journey towards Crowleys office isn’t far, but it’s uncomfortable in his current state. He is breathless and exhausted only from being carried out of bed. 

When he enters the office, Crowley isn’t there, but Meg stays to hold the phone against his ear. 

Dean keeps his eyes closed to concentrate and focus his energy on Sams voice, but nothing else. 

It takes a couple of rings and then a female voice answers the call and promises to get Samuel Winchester immediately. 

The phone number is directly from Gabriels semi-private phone. 

They wait ten whole minutes. 

Dean is about to give up and slump back into bed with Castiel- when he finally hears Sams bright but breathless voice.

“Dean!” Sam sounds like he’s crying. “Are you there?”

Dean gulps down the lump in his throat. His cheeks flood with tears as well. 

That’s Sams deep voice on the other end. He is alive and well enough to speak. 

“I’m here.” Deans voice sounds small and weak, Meg lays a hand on his shoulder. “Fuck Sammy. You hurt?”

Sam laughs wetly. “No. I’m okay. Physically I’m totally fine.” 

Dean nods, even though his brother can’t see it. “I’m glad. So fucking glad, Sammy.” He’s openly sobbing now. It’s overwhelming how relieved he is to hear Sam talk. 

Sam clears his throat. “Gabriel is taking care of me. He’s really one of the good guys. He’ll look after me when I go back to work and he has this secure place where I’m going to be staying.”

Dean breathes out to relieve some of the stress he felt for Sams wellbeing in the future. “Really?” 

“Yeah! He’s giving me a really secure apartment. An undercover bodyguard and everything I could ask for.” Sam rushes out, before halting for a moment. “So, ehm, thanks Dean. You’re the best.”

Deans heart swells with pride and his baby kicks against his palm at that exact moment, despite the bitter sweetness of the situation. “Anything for you.” 

“How’s Castiel doing?” Sam asks hesitantly, putting a damper on the mood. 

“Not awake yet. I don’t understand everything they’re telling me...” He admits softly. His mind is too foggy to follow every medical thing Crowley tries to explain him. 

“How are you, Dean?” Sam decides to ask instead. Sounding worried even though he tries not to. “How’s the chemical divorce?”

“Slowly killing me.” Dean whispers tiredly. Meg squeezes his shoulder, but it doesn’t change anything. “They keep saying one more day. Tomorrow it’s over... But it’s never over.” 

“Are you in pain? Are they hurting you?” Sam asks seriously, sounding ready to get up and save Dean this time around. 

“No. I’m just hungry. Tired too. The baby is tired and hungry.” Dean says weakly.

“Well,” Sam tells him firmly. “Get some rest and tell them to feed you.”

Dean smiles sadly. He signed the contract with Crowley to never speak of the treatment he got at the clinic. He can’t tell Sam anything, especially not with Meg hanging over his shoulder like a hawk.

“Will do, Sammy.” He promises and lies through his teeth. “Only if you do the same.”

 

\- Wednesday morning. Crowleys laundromat, New York. 2:16 AM.

 

Pressure against his bladder is what wakes Dean in the middle of the night. 

He’s still besides Castiel. Laying on his side, facing the Alpha.

He is too tired to get up and use the toilet by himself, so he decides to wait for a nurse to come check up on Castiel. Which they do every couple of hours. 

Dean places a hand on Castiels cheek. It’s scruffy, but tinted slightly pink once more. Less sickly than before. 

It gives Dean the slightest bit of hope for the future, even though his rational side tells himself not to get excited.

Something is bound to go wrong with Michael involved. 

Dean lays his spare hand over his bulging belly. He knows the baby is the cause of his frequent bladder issues, but he can’t be mad about it. 

He’a really unmistakably showing now. His belly is growing at a normal pace according to Crowley every time they measure it. Which is a reassurance considering the possibility of the kid being born too small.

Gently, Dean sneaks his bare hand under his shirt and cups the underside of his tight belly. 

He waits for his baby to kick against his palm. The pressure against his bladder is a constant distraction that keeps him awake, no matter how tired he is.

So he lays on his side and waits with a hand on his stomach, waiting for the nurse to check on him. 

But, the kick from his baby never comes.

Dean starts to sweat, despite him feeling cold constantly for the past few days.

He doesn’t feel any movement inside his belly whatsoever. 

He counts down from a hundred to zero in his head. 

He shifts to lay on his other side.

Uses Ashes breathing techniques to calm himself down. He tells himself there is no need to panic.

Dean counts down from sixty to zero, before tears jump into his vision.

He’s frantically rubbing his belly to get a reaction, but nothing comes.

The baby is completely still. 

Dean sits up as much as he can physically manage and before the panic steals all of his energy, he reaches over to Castiels side of the bed and presses the emergence button.

The baby isn’t moving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you thiiiink???? I’m so excited I love you guys’ comments so so so much so please leave a comment.   
> Tomorrow is my last exam and I’m terrified but after that my college life is normal again and so will my updates be.  
> Please leave a comment so I know you’re still reading along?? Bless you and thank you for reading
> 
> DONT FORGET TO VOTE ! Tuesday

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic! I would love to read your comments (positive or constructive ones that is lol) Thank you for stopping by x


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